Ive faded too successfully !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by vitty 13 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  vitty

  We moved nearly 2 years ago, quite a way from our old hall, and only attended our new hall for 6 months before we started to fade.

  So we have never had a elders visit and we didnt have time to make friends, so our fade has been very successful here.

  The only problem is, my family dont know we dont go anymore, which is a problem when they visit, cos we have to get around the "are we going to the meeting when we visit?" we have managed to get around it one way or another

  My question is how do we tell my family we arent going anymore without them giving us the cold shoulder.

  Obviously we cant tell them the real reason (its cos we think its a load of s"#%t ) We want to give non confrontational answers.

  Has anyone got any good reasons why they dont go to the hall anymore.
• 

  Pwned

  you could always give the standard depression answer but that might reinforce the perception that people who leave have something wrong with them
• 

  under74

  mmm...I'm not good at this kind of stiff so I'm just going to bump it to the top.
• 

  Honesty

  When all else fails, be truthful and tell them you fear that God's Spirit is not present at the KH.
• 

  rebel8

  One option is to not make a point of telling them. When they bring up KH topics, just answer them truthfully. Example:

  Them: "How many annointed do you have at your KH?"

  You: "There are 3, as far as I know."

  Them: "Did you have a local needs talk on blah-blah at your KH on Thursday?"

  You: "I don't know. I wasn't at that meeting."

  Eventually they will get the idea. They may come out and ask directly, and at that time you can answer them truthfully.

  There are 2 reasons why this strategy might be good:

  1. They will get the info they want when they're ready to hear it. (It's kinda like what those old Youth books used to say--answer kids' questions honestly but don't give more information than they're ready to hear.)
  2. It is against normal social etiquette for people to ask prying questions about your religious practices. In other words, it's really none of their business how many meetings you attend. If you bring it up, you are validating their "right" to butt into private matters.
• 

  kwintestal

  You could say that you don't want to get into it, but someone at the KH did something that really offended you and that you just don't quite feel comfortable confronting the person at this time.

  Kwin
• 

  troucul

  Cut all ties, I say. Burn those bridges. You know those friendships are going to end, why not be the one responsible for it? Cut to the chaser, change your number and never call them again.
• 

  La Capra

  I think you may be able to string this along indefinitely. When your people visit, special events get planned. On meeting nights or Sunday, get tickets to a game or a play, go to natural attraction, plan a special meal-either at home or a nice restaurant. After all-how much time do you have to spend together catching up on life these days.

  When most JWs vacation, they don't go to the meetings (unless they are vacationing with JWs that are not related). If these folks were suspicious, or if they were dead set on going to meetings, they would have called ahead to the Kingdom Hall in your area, thus finding out you have faded. That they have not done this thus far is telling. Either they don't care, or they don't want to know. Either way, you are in a don't ask don't tell sort of relationship with these guys.

  Sounds like a good thing, until some event forces the issue, just enjoy.

  Shoshana
• 

  upside/down

  It is against normal social etiquette for people to ask prying questions about your religious practices. In other words, it's really none of their business how many meetings you attend. If you bring it up, you are validating their "right" to butt into private matters.

  Wong wrong WRONG!!!

  In the Dub world...there is no "social etiquette"...and "prying questions" are a way of life...

  It IS their business, they WILL bring it up and they don't need "validation" as it it their "God" given duty to "butt" into "privte matters".

  Sorry...

  But it's the truth... and it's the premise they operate from.

  u/d (of the high-control cults suck class)
• 

  ButtLight

  Hey vitty! I am glad Im not in your situation, cause usually someone will bring it up, its in their nature. I really think its easier to just get df'd! I had no choice in the matter, thus didnt have to go through what you are!