Getting wedding invitations from people who really don't know you or care

LongHairGal

I am sure many people get wedding invitations from people who don't really know you or care about you but who invited you just the same. Sometimes they got cancellations and had to fill a number or they want $$. Maybe you went because it "wouldn't look good" if you didn't. For instance, your boss's son or daughter is getting married and you get an invitation. (This rule can apply either in or out of the congregation).

In the past I would sometimes get such an invitation and I might go even if I wasn't so close to the person.

Some months ago I got an invitation to a wedding from a cousin whose son was getting married. I hadn't seen him since he was a baby so I went. I was also glad to see relatives I hadn't seen in over two decades. Well, at the reception another cousin pulled me aside and we talked. They asked for my e-mail address and I assumed they were extending themselves in friendship. Some months later when I tried to get in contact with one or both of them I got the cold treatment (one works near me by the way). I was puzzled and spoke to my sister about it. She said they weren't genuine about anything and sometimes people say things just for the hell of it. My mistake was to take them up on it.

So the question is: why invite me to a wedding when you really don't want to know me?

No more accepting of wedding invitations for me unless it is my sister's children!

Dustin

I haven't gone to a wedding in years. I don't get invited anymore anyway. I don't do social events often. But I know what you mean. When I was a JW that used to happen all the time.

luna2

Good question. You'd think that with how much wedding receptions cost these days, they wouldn't be padding the guest list with acquaintances and relatives that they weren't close to.

I got quite brutal with JW invites to graduation parties, weddings, showers, & anniversary parties....unless I was close to those for whom the party was being given or those throwing the party, I'd send my regrets and maybe a card, but I wouldn't feel obligated to send a gift. Sometimes it seemed like I was being invited just so they could get more loot.

My family is spread out all over the country, so it's a big deal to fly in for weddings and such. Because I work with my parents and we all can't be away from the store at the same time, I'm the one who stays home. Oh well.

greendawn

Can't you just take the offer and go for the social fun part of it (if it's not too far from home anyway) I would go just to see people, the music, the dancing and you greet the newly weds even if you've never seen them before, that's fun.

Thegoodgirl

We got an invitation and it took us a week to figure out who it was from. We had me them once!

jaredg

i just always go for the free food and booze!!

Billygoat

So the question is: why invite me to a wedding when you really don't want to know me?

Having gotten married just three years ago, I struggled with who to have on our invitation list. It was hard because I knew we had a very tight limit as to how many we could invite. Some invitations were sent to friends we really knew would NOT come, but wanted to let them know we were getting married. They were happy to have been notified. Other invitations were sent to people we knew wouldn't come, but would get offended if we didn't at least send an invitation. It's a hard balancing act...especially when you are dealing with a future mother-in-law's guest list. Many invitations we sent out for my husband's side of the family was not by my choice, but by hers. So I didn't have a say. LOL

Just because some brides have the tasteless idea of inviting a million people just so they can get a million gifts, doesn't mean all brides do.

freedom96

I think it is better to send the invitation than someone be hurt about not getting one.

If you get one, and wish not to attend, simply respond that you cannot go. Just not a big deal.

Scully

I have had a couple of negative experiences regarding co-workers' weddings. The brideZILLAs-to-be were obviously more interested in receiving lots of expensive gifts (they made sure everyone who was invited to the shower and/or wedding knew where they had their bridal registry... cha-CHING!... and most items were priced $100 or more) than they were in sharing this special moment of their lives with people who were near and dear to them.

I'm noticing a similar trend with baby showers these days too. It really makes me sad to see the attitude of entitlement in picking out extravagant items on gift registries while people try to out-do and one-up each other. I was brought up that it was bordering on extreme rudeness to tell people how much they ought to be spending on "gifts" for yourself, and just to be gracious and appreciate another person's thoughtfulness.

I no longer attend baby showers or wedding showers for that reason. If I want to give a gift to someone I am close to, I will do so. In fact I'm making a shawl for a co-worker's baby who is due to arrive in the next few weeks. It's not something I do for just anyone.

LongHairGal

Thanks for your comments. I realize that not everybody is just after the loot although some are shameless about it. Believe me, it is not flattering to realize that the only thing you are wanted for is do-re-me.

I also have become very choosy in what invitations I will accept and on a related note I have gone through my address book and have whited-out names of people who are clearly not my friends or who are not looking for me.

Getting wedding invitations from people who really don't know you or care

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