JUSTICE #17 – DFing by PHONE
The telephone can be so useful, yet in some ways so cold and impersonal. I wonder how the sister in the following account must have felt when she was DF'd by phone:
Sister Y was someone I never met or even knew of. She had become a JW before I moved back into the congregation. I never saw her at meetings, in service, or even at any JW gatherings we had from time to time. Nevertheless, she became the center of a controversy – ‘the almighty so-called conscience of the congregation.
Sisters A and B approached us to inform the Elders that they should be aware of a serious ‘concern’ that may be ‘stumbling’ the congregation. They said that because Sister Y had not been to meetings in a long time, that they tried making calls on her to encourage her, and maybe even study with her again to help her back to spiritual maturity. But sadly, they said, Sister Y never seem to be at home. Even when they saw her car in the driveway, still no one answered the door. So they felt worried that she might be avoiding them.
Elders response: Myself and the PO said that we did not know Sister Y. I admitted never even hearing of her before, and I had been back in the congregation for two years. I did not recall any JC file or Publisher Record Card for Sister Y. The PO likewise admitted not knowing Sister Y, and had only heard her name mentioned once or twice. We said that likely nothing would happen because we really don’t know of any concern that we can establish. But we agreed that we would try to contact Sister Y during our next Shepherding visit.
Sisters A and B discover something unusual: A couple of weeks later, before we could arrange for a Shepherding visit, Sisters A and B approached us again with additional ‘concerns’ that were most alarming. Just recently, they saw another car parked in the driveway, and feared the worst. What was that? It might be a man, a worldly man. Who knows what must be going on? Someone, they said, really needs to look into the matter and see what may be taking place. The “conscience” of many sisters is stricken because of this situation, and its effect on Jehovah’s name and organization.
What to do?: We told Sisters A and B that we were unaware of how much this ‘concerned’ so many sisters and agreed to look into it soon. We had our Elders meeting and myself and the PO agreed to call on Sister Y to see what was up. But, as it was with the sisters who called, no one answered the door when we called by. So we went off to another Shepherding call.
A few days later, the PO and I worked together in Field Service. After donut and coffee time we decided to make a few calls. We stopped by at Sister Y’s house and saw two cars in the driveway. We knocked on the door. We waited and knocked again. We heard some footsteps. The door barely cracked open about an inch, and I could hear the PO talking quietly to someone. It sounded like a woman’s voice. He asked if this was a good time to visit. The women said not really. He asked if we could call again later, and she was not sure if she would be around. He asked if everything was all right, to which she said things were fine. He asked if she had company right now, and she said yes. So, we left.
A Phone Call: Later one evening, the PO and I got on the phone so we could both listen. He did not have a speaker phone, so we both had to hold our ears together to hear who answered. Sister Y answered, and the PO identified himself and me. She asked what was up. The PO mentioned that some were ‘concerned’ about her because she had not been to meetings or out in Service in many months. She agreed that she was not able to attend much. He asked if she thought that might change. She was not sure and unable to commit to anything specific. He asked if the car that we saw in her driveway was that of a boyfriend. She said yes. He then asked if things were as bad as they looked. She said they were. Hew asked if she would be willing to visit us at the Kingdom Hall for counseling and help. She said not right now. He asked when. She could not commit to any time in the future. He then said that since things are as bad as they look, and she cannot meet with us, then does she understand that we will have to disfellowship her. She said she understood and agreed that we must do what we feel we must do.
The whole phone call was polite, calm voices, no tears or emotions, and very courteous by all parties. He told her that if she had change of heart to call us and we would be glad to meet with her to discuss reinstatement.
The Announcement: Shortly thereafter, we announced at the Service Meeting that Sister Y was Disfellowshipped. Several in the congregation came up to me and asked who Sister Y was, for they too had never heard of her. I said that I could not discuss it because I was on the JC (of 2 Elders – Gawd!) Then Sister A and B approached with thankful appreciation for the Elders keeping the congregation clean and removing those who would stumble the brothers and sisters. I smiled and moved on ... feeling like this was really unnecessary.
The Significance: Was Sister Y committing fornication? It sounded like it. Was she a ‘stumbling’ and ‘wicked’ influence negatively impacting the collective ‘conscience’ of the Congregation? How could she be when hardly anyone even knew of her? Was she bringing ‘reproach’ on Jehovah’s name and Organization? She had not association for years, so how could she in any sense cause in damage to the Watch Tower marketing image?
I think about this kind of thing once in a while, and wonder what in the hell we thought we were doing? Yet, this type of ‘keeping the congregation clean’ mentality and the procedural style (though not often by phone) that is so common really smacks of insanity. What made us go along with this type of treatment? I suggest that it is pure fantasy, a fantasy that Jehovah’s Witnesses have been sold by the Watch Tower leaders, and a fantasy that someday reality will catch up to, and a fantasy that is already crumbling. - Amazing