What did JW teaching do to your view of God?

thom

During the last few years that I was a JW I formed an opinion more and more of how I thought God was cruel and didn't understand or care about how his actions affect people.
I started to believe that we humans were just his little play toys and like a mean kid, he'd just kill off some now and then for whatever reason without any concern for his "toys". In wondering how he could justify killing so many at armageddon, killing so many in the time before Jesus came to earth, judging people who are in an imperfect state just because they happen to live at the time of armageddon but everyone else being judged in a perfect state without Satan's influence I started thinking that he really had no concern for people and maybe even enjoyed the thought of those who would be "weeping and gnashing their teeth" right before they die forever.
By the time I left I had quite a hatred for him, and also was sickened by how so many people (JW's) defend his actions and don't seem bothered a bit by all the death they are looking forward to (armageddon).
Now I really don't know what to think. I think my view is skewed because all of my beliefs throughout my life were guided by JW's interpretation of scripture. I'm thinking that maybe I have it all wrong but haven't done enough research yet to see what the bible really says.
My hope is that he is not the cruel, selfish, sick murderer that I grew to think he is but this is what being raised a JW has done to my view of God.

Mulan

Good question. For myself, I am sure the WTS became my god. I was more interested in pleasing the organization than in pleasing god.

If I had half a brain, I could have figured out that god wouldn't approve of them or what they stand for.

Now, I think I believe in god, but am just not sure. I guess that makes me an agnostic.

Ellie

I was born and raised as a witness so I've always had the jw belief, however a few years ago I really started thinking about the way the bible is so difficult to understand and how there are so many contradictions.

Even something so basic as God having no beginning and no end is so hard to understand.

I just started thinking that he would have to be so cruel to do this to us, to give all those signs to people in the beginning when they were going to die anyway and get a resurection and then just leave us the bible to interpret when our lives depend upon it.

I realised that I couldn't love a god like that.

However since leaving the jw and especially since finding this board I have come to realise that if there is a god he is not the one described by the witnesses.

So, now I don't know what my view of him is, even if I believe.

GetBusyLiving

Good question. I really have to remind myself sometimes that I am a pretty good dude and I don't have to think that some God out there hate's me for whatever reason. It's one of those completely irrational feelings I occasionally get from all the years of conditioning.

I went with a cousin of mine to a funeral not long ago and he was talking about how God is good and that listening to a preacher talk about Jesus once in a while is okay. He just goes about his life thinking that he has a great afterlife in store and he's gonna have fun while he's here. It must be nice. I'm all about the fun while I'm here part but I think that's about it. I dreamed about the new system for too long and now all supernatural talk is bullshit to me. It might have been different if I never was a Dub. But who knows really.

GBL

stevenyc

To doubt His very existence.

steve

jadedgramma

Hey-just a newbie here. Saw this thread and it really hit me. Born and raised JW-extended family,active.blah blah blah. What got me questioning my thoughts on God were all the hypocrites I found everywhere,ever changing "lights",elders who didn't give a rat's ass about anyone unless the CO was coming or was visiting(husband included).The absurd litany 4 times a month of what not to do's. Is god really with this bunch? Then found out firsthand how the borg sweeps the child abuse issue under the rug when my daughter was molested. Hmmm why wasn't 'He" directing these clowns to kick this _____ out and put him in prison??? Became seriously depressed then inactive. Then became 'enlightened ' more by what I have read here and other books. One day while driving and deep in thought I asked myself-what kind of God would demand that his son be tortured to death-and his followers do likewise? I got sick just thinking of how horrid I was for even having those thoughts. I want to pray but keep hearing those old tapes playing over and over-he won't hear your prayers if you're not doing what he asks of you-as interpretted by WTS.....it feels as though the concept of a god will forever be twisted by the dubs brainwashing and manipulations. Thanks for listening...and sorry for rambling

MerryMagdalene

I don't know if JW teaching affected my actual view of God very much.

Growing up JW, I was conflicted my whole life because my personal relationship with God and my personal views of him differed radically from what I was being taught from the Society and from the Bible.

I'm not sure how I managed that exactly, maintaining views that differed from what I was taught from infancy. But I guess I was stubborn, arrogant, and independant enough to rely on what I "knew firsthand" rather than listen to "rumours" about God from people who didn't really seem to know whereof they spoke.

When I have a problem with God over what I see going on in the world, I take it to God. I'm still wrestling with him over certain issues, but will not turn away just because of possible misunderstandings and miscommunication.

~Merry

MerryMagdalene

Just wanted to add: WELCOME jadedgramma ! ! ! ! ! I look forward to getting to know you better

~Merry

greendawn

No doubt to me the WTS, and not only they, has grossly misrepresented God's true nature and character and made it appear very stern and exacting and unsmiling through the ways that they claim he deals with mankind.

Their concept of God is firmly grounded in the old testament image of God, the new testament has completely gone over their head. There will be no Armageddon and a final crashing judgement on this world in the way that they see it. They are certainly not fit to be used as a meanns to evaluate and judge anyone for eternal life or death. They are just impostors. So I got over the WTS induced god image long ago.

thom

I'm still working on it.
Still each scripture I read, my mind immediately interprets it as I was taught to understand as a JW. I have to work on each understanding one at a time. I still don't understand all the killing in the Old Testament, but I'm moving past the thought that God is going to take on his biggest killing project yet, Armageddon. At least that teaching I've been able to push out of my mind as it's not what the Bible teaches (at least I don't think it is).

What did JW teaching do to your view of God?

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