My story - part One. (page 2)

out of the box

Diamondblue1974,

I read your story and felt sad along with you. I can't believe how unparenting that JWs are. I was not like this with my kids the 9 years I was in JWs and for that I was considered easy and not a disiplinarian. Good, at least my kids love me now!

I can't imagine NOT listening to my son! I don't know how a mother can turn a deaf ear to her offspring! Only brainwashing could have turned off her instincts. Don't judge her too harshly, she doesn't know any better due to the circumstances she had. Just make sure that the gal you are about to marry IS a GOOD MOM type! She will be able to heal that missing part in your heart. I think watching your babies being born and a good mom showing love and sharing is quite a healing experience for someone who went without. As in the movie with Tom Cruise says 'you complete me'! With a good loving wife and daughter(s) you can learn to trust and heal your feelings with women. I am not saying you have a problem, but it can help ease the acceptance phase of it.

My dear husband is such a good male role model for me, and so were my sons, they healed the missing dad I missed out on growing up. This reinforced and supported my trust in men again.

I am so glad you are not in that situation any longer! Isn't it funny how you grew up accross the ocean from some of us over here, and yet the feelings are the same? JWs missed the boat on being the best religion if they had left 'controling' out of it. If they had allowed people to just plain old LOVE, and they could have trusted in God to keep the people safe and near with love. It's so clear to me that love binds people, so why not GO WITH IT and BE HAPPY? I don't remember any scriptures that were against love & happiness! Do you? I look forward to reading more of your story! Thank you for sharing!

out of the box

Wolfgirl

I nearly felt like I was reading about my own "mother." I'm sorry you had to go through all that. :(

Crumpet

Db - very well written - you remember everything so acutely. I have difficulty remembering anything in any detail from before I was 18!

At 14 years old I ran away from home…not just to the top of the road but I went missing for some hours…and hid away where I knew no one would look or find me. I went about 6pm and didn’t return until early hours in the morning; I was cold, hungry and thirsty but I swear even to this very day had I not been I wouldn’t have gone back.

SNAP! I ran away at 14 too. My mother slapped me across the face on the stairs at our house for answering her back. The next morning I didn't go out with the rest of the family in field service - I waited until they had gone, got the yellow pages out and rang up some bed and breakfasts in Peterborough - the nearest city about 20 miles away. I booked myself in, packed a small case and my meeting bag and watchtower and went to get the train to Peterborough. I left no note and I didn't ring - I just stayed all day Saturday and the night eating crisps and watching tv. I later learnt that the entire Lincolnshire police force were out searching for me all night, my photo had been on the local news, the cinema had been interupted in the middle of a film so that all the aisles could be searched. Some of my friends from school had been at the movie and couldn't believe it was quiet me who had ran away.

Sunday morning I had found the kingdomhall and went to the meeting. I looked older than 14 I suppose, because when people came up to meet me and asked where I was from I simply said that I;d run away from home - they laughed. I think I even answered up during the watchtower. After the meeting I was getting changed back into my jeans and wondering what to do next. I had used all my money and knew that I could only be on the run for one night. One of the sisters realised as i changed into jeans in the toilets that I had in fact ran away and asked me how old I was. Within minutes the police had turned up and taken me to the local station where I had my one and only experience of being locked in a cell.

Anyway - after that my mother and father never ever laid a finger on me again. I wish they had just realised a bit sooner that I didn;t really care about getting smacked - it hurt a bit yes, but it didn;t stop me from disobeying them. Was it so difficult to work out that my behaviour only got worse after 14 years of smacks and that withdrawal of priveledges would have me dancing to their tune!

(Sorry for making my post so long DB - I just got carried away!)

Bring on Part 2 matey!

PaulJ

Thanks for your story DB. I hope it maybe feels better getting it out, I know it did for me. I look forward to part 2.

I def think there is a pressure on parents to discipline their kids more in the 'truth', and it looks like your mum was easily influenced by others ideas. I know I was disciplined quite a lot to varying degrees and looking back it could have been that my mum and dad just didnt really know what they were doing, but maybe Im wrong.

Congratulations of your upcoming wedding by the way!

under74

I'm glad you shared DB74. Parts of your story ring familiar with me as well. My mother was single and decided she needed to give me and my siblings hardcore disipline after an elder made comments and gave parenting advice to her. I can't even begin to tell you the anger that I and my siblings had and sometimes still have towards our mom.

Anyway, thanks for sharing.

Ellie

I don't know what to say Diamondblue, it must've been awful for you, I wish it could've been different.

fleaman uk

Good,yet disturbing stuff DB..and ringing so many familiar bells to this poster

Dragonlady76

((((((((((DB)))))))))

I'm sorry to hear your childhood was a living hell. My mother beat the hell out of me too, although I think she was like that b4 the dubs came along, however I do know the elders reinforced my moms belief that hitting,pinching,slapping etc was good for me. Now that I'm the mom of a VERY Active toddler, I can see it's frustrating at times to deal with an uncoperative and unruly little boy, but all I have to do is look into his beautiful eyes to see he's not trying to piss me off, he just wants my love and attention. I think people like us make the best parents, we know the pain and refuse to put our kids through that.

DL76

trevor

Yeah I have been there too. All you people on this thread know how great it is to be an adult - don't waste it!

mapleaf18

excellent post! congrats on your continuing progress!

My story - part One.

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