I really enjoyed your post, Jim!
So, I have to accept that war is not always bad.
Me too. Because if there are a myriad of exceptions due to specific circumstances that we are aware of as humans, it follows (to me) that exceptions were morally allowable in the situations God allowed. The trouble is that most of us do not know more details of the groups beyond merely their names, so it can appear very unjust on the surface. Anyway, war/conflict is not the worst evil in the world, imo; there are worse things, and those can justify the waging of a war at times.
Perhaps the belief that JWs (and ex-JWs) have accentuates this feeling of schizophrenia; that is, they hold that death means an end of existence (unless God remembers you--and resurrects you). This is not the belief of Christendom. Souls are alive to God, their Creator, and life can still be extended to individuals who shared in the punishment of their nation. God turned Christ's suffering to glory; why not the sufferings of those other "innocents" as well, if they are actually His in the end? Redemption can turn up anywhere on the individual scale.
Also, an interesting thing to remember is that the Israelites did not wipe everyone out "at random"; they were specifically prohibited from harming certain nations or even provoking them to war (Dt chapters 2 & 3). Those tribes' lands were not to be Israel's, and they were not to take it. Why were the Canaanites' and other tribes' lands utterly forfeited? There's the real question, imo.) BTW, I do not think Armageddon is a world-wide event, if it is not a metaphor (or a metaphor for what occurred in the first century).
It is intriguing to search for the method. I have not found the search discouraging or disappointing, but have only found new dimensions that can satisfy (as well as spark new questions...)
bebu
PS: I'm off to go to a music festival for several days. See ya all later!