This just in from WTS.......Urgent (page 2)

Crumpet

Lucky old Englishman - I wondered at his choice of head covering and now I know - its his secret survival tactic!

ohiocowboy

I think Pith helmets would be more their style, after all, the Governing Body are just a bunch of pith heads

ezekiel3

*** w05 12/1 pp. 9-10 You Can Avoid a Spiritual Hat Attack ***

There is, however, another aspect of our hat that merits even more attention. "More than all else that is to be guarded, safeguard your hat," the Bible warns us, "for out of it are the sources of life." (Proverbs 4:23) This scripture, of course, is referring principally to the figurative Panama hat. Vigilance is needed to safeguard our physical Panama hat, but it is even more important to remain on the alert if we want to protect our figurative Panama hat against diseases that can lead to spiritual death.

upside/down

what about the anti-typical hat...?

u/d

stealyourface

I think Pith helmets would be more their style, after all, the Governing Body are just a bunch of pith heads

Yes, but aren't they resplendent?

hibiscusfire

It's urgent because the time of the end is so close! We need to know about Panama Hats to survive armageddon! What????Never heard of such a hat!!!!! Hibiscusfire

Wasanelder Once

One time I accidentally wore a Panama Hut. It was damned heavy. Wish I'd had this timely article, but it appears to have come too late. My neck is still sore.

W.Once

rebel8

Questions from Readers ~ As a Jehovah's Witness would it be proper for me to purchase a Panama hat for $300? Would not my hard earned money be put to better use in a donation to the world wide work?

You're tempting me to write more fake articles, but since Zeke already did....well I can't help myself so I'll just write a fake respone to your question.

Answer: No, the Society is not encouraging $300 donations. The Bible urges us to give as much as we can afford. (fake biblical reference here 19:75) $300, by today's standards, is the equivalent of a widow's mite. Many JWs today are far better off financially than that widow, so they should be giving more. $300 is a drop in the bucket with all these $500,000 legal fees we are paying to defend ourselves against pedophilia lawsuits. How would Jehovah feel if he knew you only wanted to give $300 nowadays? Why, he would call you a fence-sitter and "spit you out".

sweet tee

Thanks for winding everybody up gringojj. I needed a laugh!

vitty

Gringojj

Is this going to be a regular feature-------------please say yes. It really cheers me up

I used to thing I was the only one who thought these articles were crap

This just in from WTS.......Urgent

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