End of a Friendship (page 2)

talesin

DL

Sometimes folks do this, and it hurts so much. I understand! My attitude over those things has changed. I used to sit and try to figure out what I had done, and it made me crazy! Now, I realize that often it's all about them,,, and not our friendship. They may be going through something I don't know about, or feeling the need for isolation, or anything you could imagine, and sometimes they just cut folks off. If you don't know the reason, then don't take the blame!!!

Most of the time, when folks hurt us, it's about their baggage, not about us. So, though you are hurt, remember that it's nothing you did, it's probably about whatever is going on in her/his head or life right now. You are the person they chose to 'take it out on'. Don't beat yourself up over it!

xo, and {{{hug}}}

tal

kls

I think we all have been there at one time or another and yes it does hurt especially not knowing why but to those people it is their lose even thou it hurts us.(((((((((( HUGS )))))))))

wanderlustguy

This is helping so much. DL I'm sorry for your loss, just know I've been going through the same thing for 2 weeks now, it does get better, just try to know it's not YOU, the other person is the one doing wrong by not at least letting you have closure.

They may think they are sparing your feelings by not saying anything, but in reality, they just can't hear themselves say the truth. We all deserve honest people in our lives, this isn't honest, this is refusing to face the truth and have common courtesy.

Dragonlady76

It seems like this really hits a nerve with women more so than men.

DL76

kls

Dragon , the way i see it is if they are truly my friends and if i would say something to offend ,they would know i didn't mean to hurt them ,but either i worded it wrong or my friend just took it wrong and if they are so blind to see this then they are not my friend and never really were. A true friend knows you

Billygoat

It seems like this really hits a nerve with women more so than men.

Most men are not scared of confrontation. Many women are. When I joined corporate America about 9 years ago, I realized that I was the only girl in a group of about 25 men. Me being immature, pouting, not talking, wearing a chip on my shoulder didn't last long. I knew I had to grow up in order to make those relationships work. And keep my job for that matter! Unfortunately, growing up a JW didn't really teach me how to resolve conflict. I was in my 20's acting like a 5th grader because that's really as far as I'd learned. In congregations (and a family!) full of politics, backbiting, shunning, non-communicating, it was really all I'd ever experienced. It took a while to get "over it", but get over it I did. It was sink or swim and being a "baby" about things was not going to help me float. Today I'm a very good communicator. I work very well with most people and my marraige is very strong. I have to attribute it to not taking things personally and being willing to go 100% all the time...not 50/50.

Be patient with your friend. He/she may not have the emotional where-with-all to resolve conflict. Perhaps you could send a note or make a call saying you need to share your heart? Sometimes that will help break the barrier to help things recover.

Andi

jaffacake

Yes, that is what brought me to this site earlier this year. My friend and I have been like brothers since the age of 12 (I'm now 47). The friendship has ended because he became a JW.

I came here to understand, and ask for help. I left it too late. If I had seen the warning signs a year earlier there would have been a happy ending. The up side is I made many friends here, and I still haven't quite given up.

William Penwell

I think we have all have losts friends at one time or another. I like to up front and honest. Tell it like it is. If a person cannot be at least honest and say what is on their mind, then the friendship really wasn't there to begin with.

Will

greendawn

Sorry for the distress you had to go through, I personally never lost a friend just totally out of the blue though I I lost friends for some silly misunderstandings including one whose wife gave me a Christmas greeting kiss that was somewhat too long and he misunderstood it. I don't know why she did that but he never looked at me again with a straight face.

tijkmo

im not afraid of confrontation

i only just saw this thread

i was accused of engaging in homosexual practices with my best friend..because i couldnt show repentance for something that wasnt true then my jc refused to reinstate me which meant i was denied the opportunity to go to my friend to tell him that i had not said any of these despicable things..by the time i was reinstated the first thing i did was to contact him but he told some one else that while he accepts that i never said any of these things he had believed it for so long that he doesnt want anything to do with me anymore..he has never spoken to me since

End of a Friendship

Share this