Witnesses are Starving Spiritually

by metatron 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • metatron
    metatron

    I happened upon an article in the most recent KM that
    saddened me because its silence speaks volumes about
    the spiritual and emotional emptiness manifest in the
    lives of so many Witnesses.

    The article is called "How Important is Christian
    Fellowship?" It speaks of the need for "Christian
    association" , "In the Ministry", "For Personal Help",
    and "At the Meetings" - those are the headings.

    What I don't see is any mention of hospitality, meeting
    together at someone's home, sharing a meal together,
    taking a vacation with a friend, or simply spending
    time together as real friends would do.
    True, it refers to others praying in our behalf and how
    they can "call to our attention scriptures that address
    our personal concerns", but this is a pale imitation
    of the real 'brick and mortar' that cements a friendship.

    Even when they talk about a 'bond of fellowship', it's
    within the context of some organizational dictate - such
    as associating together door to door or 'before or after
    a meeting'. It's like some kind of 'bait and switch'
    sales technique - we pretend to care while you support some
    organizational statistic.

    Many of you former elders will remember the 'faithful slaves'
    admonition, delivered by C.O.'s - to shepherd the 'fatherless boy'
    by taking him out in field service. (Gee thanks, Brother Elder!
    I wouldn't want to take up any of your time you can't count!)
    I could have cried to think back about all the time I spent with
    older men WHO VOLUNTEERED to try to teach me how to fix a car,
    or basic electronics, or advice on getting a girlfriend! AND THEY
    DIDN'T 'COUNT TIME' DOING IT!

    I recall an elder in a congregation where elders were
    given an assignment every month to 'shepherd' a specific
    person in the congregation - he got caught fufilling his
    "obligation" by speaking with them for about one minute
    before a meeting as the month passed! Like horses led to
    water, you can't force overseers to care, I guess.

    When I read stuff like this article, I realize how they no longer
    understand what a brotherhood is -

    It's like they've encountered an ancient language they can't read
    or the Society is trying to sing a song they don't know the
    words to. I feel sorry for all the parents trying to raise good
    Witness kids in this environment, they'll find little more than
    heartache as reward for their labors.

    metatron

  • Tina
    Tina

    Hi met,
    Actually I fee sorry for any child being RAISED in that dysfunctional distorting enviornment period! regards,tina

  • its_my_life2001ca
    its_my_life2001ca

    I understand well how you feel. After leaving the congregation I realize how few long lasting relationships I had for 30 years of association and how easily they were severed on my leaving. I longed to go shopping and for lunch sometimes with another sister, for once in a blue moon, but OUR TIME would be put to better use in service. I would have liked company to go to the gym for moral support but bodily training is beneficial for little. Even the times we did get together for supper, conversation sometimes got around to those not doing as much in the truth, which always left me feeling bad after. I had moved many times due to pioneering and changed groups because of roommates getting married. Never together long enough to get close or establish roots anywhere.It's hard sometimes to do anything just for the fun of it which makes me realize how unbalanced we can become in the truth. Jehovah is a happy god but his 'people' don't do a very good job of reflecting it.

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Hi Metatron: You raise an excellent issue. The JWs have evolved, mostly because the Society has forced the changes. I recall the hospitality in the late 1960s. We have special gatherings of the congregation at a park at least every three or four months. JW friends would stop by just to spend the day. We would play cards, take the kids to the beach, etc.

    I don't recall the exact date, but sometime in the 1980s the Soceity clamped down os these 'special' gatherings. They intruded into wedding events by creating the 'office' of wedding feast coordinator or something like that. This way they assured that the event continued to be the type of gathering they felt was important to their image.

    Shepherding has taken on new meaning too. I remember when 'shepherding' was done as a natural act of kindness, without schedule or agenda other than showing up to visit a friend in need. Then the Shepherding visits were turned into a monthly schedule. EVen that was okay because at least something was done to make sure it was more frequent. But, it because just another mneeting for the Elders, with a theme scripture, and calling on those who were weak in service and meetings, and not on those weak in spirit. By the time I left the organization, shepherding was reduced to calling on suspected apostates.

    I recall another Elder and myself having a discussion on various Society programs. He lamented that the Society always comes out with really great sounding ideas. He said that one of two things happens: The new program just fades away like most Society plans do, or the Society fine tunes the program so much that it loses all of its original purpose and meaning. - Amazing

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    metatron,
    social activities from a Brooklyn point of view mostly centred around works, so the KM article you refer to just follows the customary line. so when thee is minimal works, there is very little association/friendship, as 'its my life' comments, the friendships she thought were lasting, true friendships turned out to be conditional, that is conditional upon her continuing to share in the works of the 'group' or congregation.

    Cheers,
    Ozzie

    "There are two ways of moving men, interest and fear" Napoleon

  • Latte
    Latte

    its_my_life2001ca

    Hi Its-m-l

    Me too! Even now I would love to meet and go shopping with a friend, where you could just chat and chat, about everything and anything…..so therapeutic don’t you think? Fortunately,I have a sister (fleshly) that I have re-kindled relationship with since leaving (she’s not a JW pheww!) Had a wonderful shopping trip in the sales recently

    ****I longed to go shopping and for lunch sometimes with another sister, for once in a blue moon, but OUR TIME would be put to better use in service. I would have liked company to go to the gym for moral support but bodily training is beneficial for little.****

    My still JW friend is always tired, and never does anything for herself. She is a lovely person, very selfless. But I can’t help thinking that it is a shame that she make no time for her herself.

    Where about’s are you its_my_life2001ca ? Drop me an e-mail if you like.

    Latte

  • soylibre
    soylibre

    Witnesses suffer from spiritual food poisoning....

  • Room 215
    Room 215

    The WT leadership sends conflicyting msgs on this subject. On the on hand, with items such as the KM article Metatron describes, they acknowledge and lip-serve the principle of befriending one another.
    But from the other side of their mouths, they stress that the Kingdom Hall is not to be used for any social purpose whatsover, that announcments of congregation picnics, etc., not be made from the platform. I often thought how advantaeous it might be if the local dubs would have a Sunday meal (ala the Baptists in their church cellar, heaven forbid!) or a picnic.
    I often pointed out that the Kingdom Hall was underutilized as an asset, and should be used as a sort of community center for the dubs. Needless to say, that idea either fell on deaf ears or met with scorn.
    Then too, there's the paranoid harping about ``watch your associations, even inside the congregation.'' Certainly, that's hardly conducive to developing congregational warmth and conviviality, as it makes people needlessly suspicious, looking askance at others. And if the strong only seek out the strong as friends, who's going to inspire the weak by offering an unconditional hand of friendship?

  • philo
    philo

    Metatron, thanks for sharing your sensitive analysis.

    IML 2000,

    After leaving the congregation I realize how few long lasting relationships I had for 30 years of association and how easily they were severed on my leaving.

    That is so true; only when discarded do people see the weakness of WT friendships. It isn't even a case of 'easy come, easy go,' because becoming a JW was not easy; previous relationships inevitably foundered in the process, and even family ties slackened. No. For most people, becoming a JW was difficult socially, and leaving that association was even harder.

    As an uncelebrated, minor poet (who was once a JW) once said…

    " What price you paid in human sacrifice
    Of gentle histories
    To fulfil the words of he who sighed
    'By their fruitage will you recognise'?

    For my friends -
    That famous love of yours was weak
    And I gaped at your efficiency
    At your own hearts' bloodless surgery"

    philo

  • betweenworlds
    betweenworlds

    Excellent points meta,

    When you are on the organizational treadmill, there is little thought given to the *real world* including many times our own well being, which kind of falls by the wayside, and the well being of our family and others around us (family and friends) and ESPECIALLY our "worldly" family. Very sad.
    I'll say it again...I'M SO STINKIN' HAPPY TO BE OUT!!! woohoo!
    {{{Doing happy dance of freedom)))

    BW

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