assemlbly time passing tricks

by stopthepain 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  rebel8

  I vote for Blondie's #4.

  Of course you'd have to get those nose thingees to prevent snoring noises. zzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzz

  I know shorthand, so what I did is pretend to be taking notes. Instead, I was writing "stupid idiots" "lies" "WTS sucks" "brother ---- wears ugly clothes" and stuff like that, but no one could read it. It got me through.

  I used to offer to let toddlers sit with me just so I could pretend to take them to the bathroom or for walks when I claimed they were about to cry.

  Once I made a point of changing my seat multiple times. I'd get up and pretend to be going to the bathroom and just go sit somewhere completely different. If you walk purposefully and briskly, the attendants don't realize you're wandering around. My mother couldn't keep track of where I was. It was like a game. Once she'd find me, she'd come to get me, and I'd be moving elsewhere.

  Another time as a teen, I spent at least an hour picking lint off my sweater and carefully placing the lint on the head of the person sitting in front of me (complete stranger). The woman couldn't feel what I was doing and ended up with a nicely arranged collection of lint balls in her hair. I was silent giggling so bad my stomach hurt. Then someone behind me burst out laughing really loud and blew the whole thing. The lint-ee was not amused. Back to shorthand. sigh
• 

  rebel8

  Oh, also--sit in the very top row in the auditorium. That way there are less people noticing what you're doing. Then you can pretty much do as you please. Open a WT as Blondie suggested and put a novel inside it...read away. Play tic tac toe. Make your grocery shopping list. Text message people. Catch up with old pen pals.
• 

  lv4fer

  The last 5 years or so we had our convention in Bakersfield. There was a coffee shop across the street and they made really good latte's. I would walk across the street and come back with a latte or two. My husband would say I was setting a bad example for the kids. The last couple of years I would get lost walking to the coffee shop. I was pretty wired one in the morning, one in the afternoon. I should have taken orders for those sitting around me.
• 

  LuckyNun

  1. I would wear a coat with large side pockets, replace my walkman headphones with earbuds, put the walkman in the side pocket, run the ear bud up to me ear, sit leaning with my cheek on my hand to hide the wire, enjoy rock music. rinse, repeat. this only worked if I got a seat against the wall so I had no neighbor on that side. support beams were my friends.
  
  2. take notes but secretly journal, and then write down a scripture so if my mom looked over, all she saw was this (actual excerpt, fake scriptures):
  
  supposed to go to Little Caesers after the meeting. I want some crazy bread. only 19 paragraphs this week, so WT should be over sooner. yay! Jan's supposed to give me a ride home. Matt. 25:12 wonder when David's coming back from Bethel. it's no fun going out in service anymore. I miss the car group from hell. John 4:15 oh my god, Angie is getting so fat! it's so gross to think of her and Dale doing it! this is so boring, what I wouldn't give to be listening to some G'n'R or Alice in Chains right now. Isaiah 3:24-28.
  
  3. sign up for food service, so I could leave early or stay later during intermissions. I TRIED AND TRIED to get in expediting, even having a contest in the motel weights room to prove I could bench press and leg press more than the boys who did get to help. no dice. SEXIST JERKS!
  
  4. tell my mom I was sitting with a group of friends, friends would do likewise. we'd all head for the upper decks and hang out unsupervised.
  
  5. go for walks, lean on the railings, and surreptitiously drop grapes on people below. scoot back, and watch for puzzled looks.
  
  6. wait for brother-in-law to fall asleep. fish out ice cube from cooler, hold over brother-in-laws' crotch. allow ice cube to drip until he was awakened. palm ice cube and look curious when brother-in-law kept looking up at the ceiling for leaks. explain theory of cooling system and condensation to brother-in-law. wait until he fell asleep again. repeat. go to bathroom, die laughing. repeat.
• 

  Thegoodgirl

  Wow, used to think people like you posters above were so bad and disrespectful. I would have never beleived I would be discussing these tactics with you and thinking you guys are actually pretty cool, years later...

  I was the one who would try to sit there diligently taking notes and understanding the crap they were saying, and thinking, this doesn't make sense because I'm not smart enough to understand it, or because I keep daydreaming and if only I would pay attention I would get it. Now I see, it really had no logic, and how did I ever sit through three days of it. But you have to admit at the time, it was exciting guessing, "is THIS the talk leading up to the new release???"
• 

  greendawn

  Can you take a discreet mini radio with inconspicuous headphones to quietly listen to a variety of stations sit somewhere with more privacy hwer eless people will notice.
  
  Look forward to seeing lots of pretty young jw girls during the breaks/after the assembly ends (fornicating with the eyes).
• 

  not the administrator

  this is a game i played. i might not explain it to well but ill try.

  each paragraph in the watchtower or what ever publication was a game. i would color in the letters that were closed like o,b a e and all the ones like that. every word that had more than 1 letter closed in i would give it a point like the word word would get 1 point the word closed would get 2 points the word bookbag would get 4 points.

  i would add up the points then i would start marking out words and i would have to use 1 point for each letter that i couldn't color in staring with the words that had no colored in letters like the word (with) that would use up 4 points and like the word (word) that would use up 2 points.

  you would start out using your points on the small words like it (2 points) or on (1point) then cross the word out. you do this untill all your points are gone.

  then you add up the total amounts of words and if more than half of them are crossed out then you win.
• 

  Elsewhere

  I find sleeping to be the best means of passing time at an assembly. Nothing passes time like being unconscious.
• 

  Insomniac

  I once spent a lovely two days sitting with a young bro I was hot for. We were both teens at the time, and he was sitting with his family, whereas I'd come all alone. The two of us whiled away the hours writing paragraphs describing all sorts of erotic stuff we wanted to do- it looked like we were such diligent note takers, scribbling furiously! Then, periodically, we'd exchange notepads, so we could each read what the other had written. By the time lunch rolled around, we were both so hot, bothered, and frustrated, as we never had an opportunity to be alone with each other. Very hot stuff, though.
• 

  candidlynuts

  lol my brother and i would write down names of people we knew that were asleep..

  i'd usually win..cuz i'd write people down and when he'd check to see if they were asleep i'd say "oops they must have just woke up!" lol

  as an adult, i'd use any and every excuse to get up with the kids, a runnny nose would send me back to the hotel and sit in the AC for the afternoon ..

  in between those years, i was stupid.. i listened and believed ..