Yep, I cancel alot of the posts that I start typing. Usually because I think that since I'm new somebody MUST have brought this up before and nobody really cares to see me say it again.
Insecure posters
by misguided 41 Replies latest watchtower medical
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GoingGoingGone
I think that since I'm new somebody MUST have brought this up before and nobody really cares to see me say it again.
Thom - I think the same thing!GGG
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IP_SEC
I do it all the time. I dont think its about being insecure so much as yous guys are my friends and I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings.
I dont know how often I've said something, not meaning anything by it only to step on a feeling or two. Its bad enough when the words come out of your mouth but when you are typing it is much easier for the receiving party to misunderstand.
Plus I think atleast for me, that the more I dont say, the better off... oh... um maybe I am a little insecure?
Smilie faces... use lots of smilies
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ballistic
I sometimes re-read my post after I've posted it, which is probably a mild case of Narcissism.
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Soledad
I think I am just the opposite------I just post the first reply that comes to mind, which has gotten me edited by the mods more than once because of foul language. In real life I am like that too. I don't really think before I speak. Ever watch The Golden Girls? Sophia Petrillo is my name!
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Rod P
First, I make sure that I really do want to start a new topic (thread) or respond to someone else's. I deliberately ask myself the following questions:
When it comes to starting my own Topic:
1) Do I feel strongly enough about this topic to hang in there to the bitter end? A lot of posters jump in with reactions and questions, and you must be prepared to respond. In other words, being responsible for a thread until it concludes.
2) If not, then I would choose to wait until someone else brings up the subject. Then I can jump in with a few comments here and there, and then move on.
When it comes to contributing or commenting to Others' Topics:
1) Does the one who started the Thread seem to be asking for help or advice, or wanting to be welcomed to the board? Then I try to offer words of encouragement or advice or humour, or welcome them aboard whenever I can, and show them mutual respect and acceptance. I ask myself, "If I were in their shoes, how would I want to be treated?", and then try to respond accordingly. I love wishing people "Happy Birthday" and welcoming Newbies to the Board.
2) If two posters are angry with one another on this forum, I try to ascertain who is really picking on who, or being unfair, insulting or biased. Then I will point that out to the person I think is dishing out the wrong medicine. I guess I feel strongly for the underdog, or one who seems to get picked on, as I've experienced that myself. Yet I will try to do this in a diplomatic language and tone, and also state up front why I am doing this. If things still heat up further, I try to offer an "olive branch", a peace offering, and smileys are always good.
3) If I post something that others take offense to, I will not hesitate to apologize, and try to explain what my intent was, even though I may have failed at that attempt. I find that a little apologetic humility once in a while goes a long way to minimizing friction and angry responses. Polarized viewpoints, where people line up on two sides of an issue and start exchanging insults and questioning motives, can usually be diffused with a little diplomacy and appealing to everyone to cool their jets a bit. Emoticons are handy here too.
4) If I say something dumb, or just plain wrong, or come across as too opinionated without anything to back it up, then I will not hesitate to accept and learn from the advice of others as they comment on what I said, pointing out my fallacies and erroneous facts. It's OK to be wrong. It's not OK to defend what one discovers is wrong, but then refuses to be corrected. Pride is what we must resist. Humility is the remedy. When you respond nicely to those who differ with you, and point out your errors, you will find you have a friend in that person. (There are, however, some who do this just for the sake of putting others down, or hurl insults because they take pleasure in hurting others. You can usually tell when this is happening. I take strong exception to someone like that. But you know, "Sticks and stones..." and all that.)
I don't particularly worry about whether I should submit a post or not. I usually do the post, but before submitting, I will go back and read it carefully, editing it for typos, spelling and bad grammer, or expressing certain paragraphs more clearly, etc. Then I ask myself if I am hurting or insulting anyone, or making ignorant comments or inaccurate ones if I submit this. It not, to the best of my knowledge and ability, then I will hit the "submit" button.
Then it's "The consequences be damned!" And I stand back and enjoy the rest of the show.
As Nike says "Just do it!"
Why should we be mere spectators all our lives? We will enjoy things much more if we jump right in and get involved. You may even surprised at the wisdom that flows out of you from time to time if you do this. And if you don't do it, you will never know. Posting can reveal a lot about yourself to yourself. Also, with practice, you will get better and better at it.
In Canada we have an interest singer named "Stompin' Tom Connors". He's a kind of a Canadian icon, who sings all kinds of ballads about the Canadian experience. Here are a few interesting words from one of his songs titled "To It and At It":
Just get to and at it; at it and to it.
You gotta tune your attitude in.
You won't get to it, if you don't get at it,
You gotta get to it, to get at it again.
You gotta get to it, to get at it again. (twice)
Rod P.
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M.J.
Sure is comforting to see that all kinds of others experience the same as me. That's why I edit my posts so much! But I don't care as much as I used to.
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Sad emo
I'm not as insecure as I was at first. I'm learning to sit and think about what I'm writing now - only thing is, it usually takes me about half an hour to decide whether I've written the right thing!
(5 minute pause here to decide whether that sounds right!)
Part of my problem is that I'm useless at conversation (this is where I'm finding JWD very helpful) - so, if anyone out there doesn't get a reply when they're expecting one from me, I apologise!! Maybe one day you won't be able to shut me up!
(Another 5 minute pause to decide whether that sounds right!!)
Rod P - That's a brilliant post, I'll maybe save that somewhere for reference.
IP_SEC - what is all that stuff at the bottom of your post next to the IP address? How does it get there? Is it because you've edited? (sorry, didn't think it needed a seperate thread!)
(Sits for 5 minutes making one final check that post reads ok!)
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IP_SEC
IP_SEC - what is all that stuff at the bottom of your post next to the IP address? How does it get there? Is it because you've edited? (sorry, didn't think it needed a seperate thread!)
Yes I edited lol. My tongue happened to be in my cheek at the time.
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Sad emo
Cheers IP, yes I suspected that was the case! I seriously didn't know what those things meant though - another of my insecurities when I first started posting was I wondered if I was doing something wrong because nothing ever appeared on mine!