3 hour tour - my sd interrogation. (page 3)

thom

---"yea... i am a bit confused on what exactly she is supposed to decide."---
I'm guessing that they HAVE decided to DF her and she has one week to appeal. Not sure if that's what's going on, but I think that's how it works.
Anyway, that might be where the one week comes from. That's how it worked for my exwife. But believe it or not, I could be wrong!

wordlywife

What's worse is the she didn't totally shun him when he was df'd, but then he says he won't be able to interact with her as she did with him. Why not? How come? Because he's her father, and at the time of his df she was in control of the contact (during a divorce)? I will have to ask him. I know how shamed/humiliated he felt when he was df'd

It's all so hurtful.....:(

WW

144001

As with all JW rules, they are twisted by the "flock" to suit their own objectives. Sometimes DF'ing is just an excuse to shun a family member, the real reasons for the shunning are kept secret. Most JWs are hypocrites in this regard. They preach the rules to everyone, yet pick and choose those they wish to follow themselves.

It sounds like your husband needs a good kick in the ass. Wear steel-toed shoes for more impact.

wordlywife

Can anybody give me some scriptures to quote about mercy, forgiveness, patience, kindness? I'm really showing my lack on biblical knowledge here I know, but if I get into it with him over his daughter I'd like to say: What about forgiving XX amount of times, what about the biblical persons who did really awful things and God forgives them without a 3 judge panel, etc.

Thanks for the quotes about judging, I have those ready to go.

WW

wordlywife

An above poster mentioned the 1 week to appeal, that is what is happening, she's got a week to appeal this so-called decision. Ack!!

WW

anewme

I dont know if this will help, but in my old hall there was a family that over the course of 10 years had five of its members DFd. One of them twice. But each of them came back in! It was amazing to watch.

I attribute the high return rate to the tight loving family they were to each other. The family never stopped talking to the DFd one, had them over to dinner, dined with the dfd ones new worldly girlfriends and boyfriends showing they were loving people.
And they always sat with the dfd one at the hall. You could see the support. But many in the hall criticized
this family for how they treated the dfd one too kindly.
But the proof is in the high rate of return.

My family, husband, mother in law (not even a witness,an RC, but decided to shun me too), 5 sisters in laws, 5 brothers in laws and 12 nieces and nephews and all long time friends have treated me as if I am dead.

Newsflash!!!

That does not work to make people want to come back.

BrendaCloutier

I think the legal term is "alienation of affection".

WW, I am so very sorry for what you are having to live with. (((( WW))))

hillbilly

The Witnesses started shunning me, then I invited the elders to MY meeting, they didn't show up and I disfellowshipped THEM_ Gary Buss

LOL...are we cousins or something Gary? I asked for a show-down with the Circuit Overseer and Local BOE when the ex left. Six grown men couldnt produce a whole set of B*lls ...never heard back since.

~Hill

blondie

Worldlywife, remember this, you are not a JW, you don't have to shun her even if your husband decides to. She will need your support. Your example may reach his heart. Fear of being shunned himself not love for his daughter is the true situation.

Blondie

feelinglost

I attribute the high return rate to the tight loving family they were to each other. The family never stopped talking to the DFd one, had them over to dinner, dined with the dfd ones new worldly girlfriends and boyfriends showing they were loving people.

And they always sat with the dfd one at the hall. You could see the support.

But the proof is in the high rate of return.

...have treated me as if I am dead.

Newsflash!!!

That does not work to make people want to come back.

I have tried to explain this very thing to my mother. But she doesn't get it. She too treats me as if I have the plague (she still talks to me once every couple of months, but I think that is mostly b/c she is married to my unbelieving father). When I first got df'd- i had thought about going back to get my relationship with my mother back- it was worth it to me. But after she listened to people telling her to not be around me and not go to my wedding (in the hopes it would bring me back), I gotta say I'm not really feeling like returning- and quite frankly, my new "worldly" husband doesn't really want me to either (he understood at first if i had wanted to).

3 hour tour - my sd interrogation.

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