ellie where did you go?
come back
Hibie
opinions please
by Ellie 25 Replies latest jw friends
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hibiscusfire
Hellllloooooooooooooooooooo?????
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Ellie
Thanks to everyone for replying, its made me feel better for seeing that its not me with the problem, however, on the down side, if it were me atleast I could do something about it.
Hibiscusfire - He already did turn things around once, he was actually sent to prison due to an incident that happened while he was drunk, when he was released he swore that he would never touch another drop of alcohol, but over the months he has slipped back into his old ways.
Hes gone out tonight, leaving me alone to take care of our daughter, this wouldn't be too bad, however I'm 4 days overdue to have our second child.
I don't know how many chances I can keep giving him.
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korina
I think you know the answers to your questions are obvious. Here are some more questions with obvious answers:
Should you continue in a relationship where your partner has a continuing dependency on drugs and alcohol?
If that's your kid in the picure, is this the kind of example you want to give your child? Not just his example of using but also your example of accepting that behavior in your family.
Do you believe this man loves you enough to stop? If so, why hasn't he? If he claims he has, and you believe he does love you enough to stop, then what is making you distrust him? Could it be your instinct trying to steer you away from a negative relationship- but you don't want to listen? It's never to late to make a good choice for your family.
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Thegoodgirl
Ellie,
So sorry. Listen, just worry about that baby right now. Deal with him in a few weeks. But just so you know you're not alone, yes, I would be pissed. He should not be going out when you're that close to giving birth, and they say an alcoholic should never take another drink once they come clean. Has he gone into therapy? AA meetings?
But again, worry about that stuff in a few weeks.
GG
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GoingGoingGone
I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father, although he functioned well in everyday life. The fighting that went on in our house as a result of his drinking was hell for us kids. My mother's marriage to an alcoholic changed who she is as a person. It changed us kids so much, too, that I spent the better part of my adult life dealing with 'issues' surrounding it. My sister has never gotten over her issues. And it changed my perception of both my parents.
If you tolerate addictive behavior, it WILL change who you are, and it will affect your kids. All that can be combatted, but it takes a tremendous effort. Only you can decide if the effort is worth it.
All the best to you.... and good luck with the baby!!
GGG
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GoingGoingGone
Hey GoodGirl! I didn't realize there was someone signing their posts GG..... I've been signing GGG...... I'll have to come up with something else or we'll be confusing everyone! And you were here first...
Hmmmm
Gone... or maybe I'll be Going until I'm df'd....
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Mary
OK, I'll give you my honest opinion:
If you were in a relationship with someone who through alcohol had let you down badly in the past, how would you feel about them going out a lot? They wouldn't be---plain and simple. Because you know what they're probably doing and it'll only be a matter of time before they let you down again.
How much freedom would you give them? Not much........then again, I probably wouldn't stick around waiting for them to screw up again, but that's me.
Would you think it reasonable for them to either go out without you once a week, sometimes staying out all night but certainly till very late? Are you talking about someone you're dating or someone you're married to? If you're married to someone or living with them and they stayed out all night?? This is not 'reasonable' at all and I wouldn't put up with that crap for very long.
Or having friends round to drink alcohol / smoke weed? I don't mind if friends come over for a few drinks but no one would be smoking weed or doing any other kind of drug at my house under any circumstances. And if I caught anyone doing that, I'd throw them out on their ass.
This is me.......but like everyone else said, you gotta decide what's best for yourself.
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talesin
He's gone out partying and you are due? uggghhh
I've seen far too much of this kind of thing to have any happy words for you, ellie. Sorry. A man who loves his woman and child, and is ready for the responsibility, does not go out partying all night once a week, especially when she is just about to have a baby. I went through this for a few years, and spent so many nights crying ... I understand how you feel. It's soooo hard when you are pregnant, and your man is out acting like a high-school boy while you are home being the grown-up.
(((((HUGS)))))
tal
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Legolas
If you were in a relationship with someone who through alcohol had let you down badly in the past, how would you feel about them going out a lot?
You asked for my 'honest opinion well I'm going to give it....
I wouldn't let them out without me.
How much freedom would you give them?
None........ 'they' don't deserve it.
Would you think it reasonable for them to either go out without you once a week, sometimes staying out all night but certainly till very late?
NO!!!
Or having friends round to drink alcohol / smoke weed?
It would depend who they are.