Just a little bit about myself before you answer:
I was raised a Jehovah's Witness by my mother, who got "the truth" by studying with inlaws who were already members. My father had been disfellewshipped for joining the army a few years before I was born, and has nevered returned to the organization. I never took the religion seriously until my late teen years, when I began searching for some stability and acceptance in my life. My dad and mom were divorced when I was sixteen, and needless to say, things were pretty hectic in a single mother household. My mom and dad were so busy trying to survive their own lives, they didn't have much energy left for guiding the lives of myself or my sibilings. My mom did her best, and the one thing she did impart to me, was a real love for God. Unfortunately, she also exposed me to her new found faith as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Since I loved God, and since I knew I wanted to please him, it seemed to make sense that the only way to do that, was to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses. After all, my mother and most of my family were saying so. Even my father would comment that, while he couldn't live that way, if any religion had the truth, it was Jehovah's Witnesses. So, I began my career as a member.
I served for several years as a pioneer, ministerial servant, and finally for seven years as an elder. At 19, I married my wife, who along with her family, continue to serve as devout Jehovah's Witnesses. After almost two decades of marriage, we brought into the world, two beautiful daughters. My wife and I love each other very much, and of course we adore our children.
Now, the problem. A little over five years ago, while I was still serving as an elder, I began to have serious reservations about some of the teachings and policies of the organization. I won't go into detail now, but suffice to say, I struggled with these doubts and concerns for almost two years. Finally, one late night, after a particularly difficult judicial case, I was so distraught and emotionally exhausted by, not only the case, but my own crisis of faith, that I got down on my knees and begged God to help me understand what was happening to me. For the first time, I prayed for him to reveal himself to me regardless of where it lead. I began to read the bible, trying hard to let it speak without any preconceived notions about what it should say. What I found, was that it didn't always agree with what I had been taught, and what I had been teaching myself. I found that many doctrinal issues that I thought were slam dunks, were not so easy to explain in context. I found apparent contradictions and passages which seemed hard to reconcile with a God of love. I found that, in some areas, the bible is quite vague, no matter how hard you try to find definitive answers. Now that I was determined to read the scriptures without bias, I was no longer satisfied with answering these difficult issues by playing them off as misunderstandings, or points needing further clarification. I began reading everything I could find about the bible, faith, and religion. The latter included material from former Jehovah's Witnesses.
Needless to say, my faith in the watchtower was shaken to the core, and finally dashed. It was like Dorothy finding out the Wizard of Oz was just an old man behind a curtain. I didn't come to hate the organization, but I did come to resent all the wasted years and the continued ill treatment of those who would disagree with its teachings.
Which finally brings me to the subject of this post. Have those of you who are married to JW's, been able to find happiness in your relationships in spite of your religious differences. Have you been able to overcome the feeling that you are the enemy, tolerated and humored, but never accepted for who you really are? How about how you raise your children? Will your wife attend dinners or events with you at the homes of your worldly friends? I guess I'm asking, can you ever have a real partnership with one in and one out?
Sorry if this post seems ranting. I've left so much out, but I didn't want to bore you to tears.
Thanks for your help...