They wonder why they are losing people???

LongHairGal

I have to laugh at how hard they try to bring people in by knocking on doors and rv's - but once the people are in they are pushing them out the back door with both hands! We all remember how hard it was to stay there (even if you believed it all) - let alone the head-trips they put you through!! Listen to this.

This is the story of a young man (early 30s). I feel responsible because I was influential in him joining. He is a nice person but a little eccentric, he works but doesn't make a lot of money. He goes out in service regularly and does the whole deal. The problem: he is looking for a mate and people to hang around with. He lives in a southern state where the girls are all married off at a young age. Anybody that is nearly close to his age is usually divorced with kids and baggage. So he has set his sights on younger girls in late teens. However, he is running afoul of elders and getting criticized because he hangs around with the younger crowd and it looks like he is chasing the girls. He is in the predicament that singles find themselves in because married couples don't want him around because they are afraid he will be "temptation" to the married sister (what nonsense). So he has nobody to hang around with. Now, he is a very sincere (and "whole souled" person) who wants to serve jehovah and he wouldn't think of looking outside for a mate.

So, he is in a dilemma. He tries to do the right thing and is criticized instead of being helped.

Their system just doesn't work even if you play by their rules.

Sara Annie

Crazy religion or not, a man in his 30's who 'sets his sights' on girls in their late teens is going to be seen as creepy.

I'm sure that, in his 30's, he has no 'baggage' of his own and can therefore afford to discriminate. Sound like a real peach.

littlerockguy

Been there, done that;one of the reasons why I no longer go. They dont care anything about single people; everything is centered around family family family.

littlerockguy

Crazy religion or not, a man in his 30's who 'sets his sights' on girls in their late teens is going to be seen as creepy.

That is very common in the organization. I have seen several elders with wifes 12 years younger than them.

LongHairGal

SaraAnnie:

I agree with you that these girls are too young for him but he does look very young for his age. He was also told by his family that he has a "limited time" that he will look young. Once he starts to look middle aged he will really be seen as a fossil. Family members have urged him to look "outside" for a woman but he refuses because he thinks he will be displeasing jehovah (rolls eyeballs).

Also, I am sure he has emotional "baggage" as does anybody who is an adult.

The point I am making is what is somebody like him to do?

AK - Jeff

The problem is -as it of course is with all Wt doctrine - a misapplication of the scripture "Marry only in the Lord".

Unless he accepts -and a a dub he won't - the 'the Lord' is more encompassing than the organization, he is doomed.

I certainly think though that in the meantime he should go to conventions, ect, to look for ladies his own age. The elders in more than one place have been known to 'trump' up charges against certain ones they want out of thier hair. The emotional devastation that would be done to this man by being wronged by a JC, coupled with a failure to find a mate, might be more than he could take in tandem.

Jeff

Jahna

That is very common. When I was 18 I had this 40 year old man all over me in one hall, his brother was also looking until the Elders put a stop to it, he wasn’t “scripturally” divorced from his ex wife (who I think was living with someone else). The other brother was trying to become straight and looking (maybe it was going to help). Oh did I mention, all were studying.

Because it was an isolated congregation, being a new single and young sister was frightening. The young guys had a hard time dating the girls they grew up with, and the older single guys maybe found it icky to look for the young single sisters they knew as kids. Marrying only in the lord does make things very hard for a lot of people. Fresh meat is scary. And I haven’t even mentioned the newly married brother having marital problems inviting me to his place “so I know where he lives so I can meet his wife when she gets back from her parents.”

Being in the “world” was a lot easier.

Jahna

sweet tee

What on earth is one to do with such a small pool to choose from? .

Again I say, if the GB would relax their standards they could retain more members along with (gasp) increasing the level of joy in the congos. Alas, they continue to preach "your happiness is not our concern, just do what we Jehovah says and that should be sufficent for you".

(sweet tee of the 'so glad it ain't me' class)

95stormfront

I've found that the whole issue of JWs looking for mates of their own inside the org to be a farce. In every hall I've ever been to most every marriage between young ones was "arranged". I remember seeing kids I knew had nothing in common save "da troof" hurriedly getting married after they turned 18 for no other reason than to do the humpty dance.

Elsewhere

Because it was an isolated congregation, being a new single and young sister was frightening. The young guys had a hard time dating the girls they grew up with, and the older single guys maybe found it icky to look for the young single sisters they knew as kids. Marrying only in the lord does make things very hard for a lot of people. Fresh meat is scary. And I haven’t even mentioned the newly married brother having marital problems inviting me to his place “so I know where he lives so I can meet his wife when she gets back from her parents.”

Cue Twilight Zone music.

They wonder why they are losing people???

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