Bad habits

by Satanus 23 Replies latest jw friends

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  Satanus

  This thread isn't about spitting on the sidewalk or picking your nose in public. I am talking about bad thinking habits. Ways of thinking that we learned in order to survive, bad ways of thinking that we learned because of wrong information/wrong beliefs that we had. Feel free to name a few, and if you want, as a bonus to readers, post how to change them/how you changed them.

  One of my bad habits is procrastination and not finishing stuff. In attempting to change this, is the help and example of my main employer at this time. He is a mega business man, and he deals w stuff to the end, then considers it finished. He expects me to do the same w my work for him. He pulled something on me after i failed to complete something as he thought i should. I think i had a good excuse reason, so i had a meeting w him about it. Anyway, things were worked out, and he explained how i can better do things on time, or tell him ahead of time that i will not/cannot do them. It is helping.

  S
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  kls

  One of my i guess bad habits is i have to have things done now , not later but right now and i can never get anyone to do it now! So i do it myself. Yes i usually suffer in the end but it gets done.
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  talesin

  My shrink had an explanation for this. She was good at the spiritual abuse stuff, having grown up in a cult-type atmosphere herself.

  She said it had to do with Armageddon, and the fact that as a JW, I was taught that there is no future to prepare for. The early conditioning had impressed on my psyche that nothing in the present mattered, only the hope for Paradise. Also, as JWs, we didn't learn how to make goals, and work towards them. It was all about this week's meetings, FS, etc.

  That's kinda brief, but I hope it gives the gist of what she was getting at.

  t
• 

  thom

  Wow talesin, that makes some sense.
  I'm a big procrastinator and I tend to have a subconscious feeling that it doesn't matter anyway (if I get something done). I do get things done, but always at the last minute because I basically have to.
  I set goals in my life and I work toward them, but I always have this little nagging feeling in me that it really doesn't matter anyway.
• 

  HappyDad

  A great big........DA...UMMM!

  The early conditioning had impressed on my psyche that nothing in the present mattered, only the hope for Paradise. Also, as JWs, we didn't learn how to make goals, and work towards them. It was all about this week's meetings, FS, etc.

  Talesin................that hit the nail on the head for me. No future in this system, so why bother?

  Guess it will still take some more time for me to progressively get better!

  HappyDad
• 

  Evanescence

  Bad thinking habits?

  Well my thoughts are just plain non stop evil thinking! Morbid, gross, depressing! Its sooooooooo annoying! darn what to with these evil thoughts!?!

  A lot of this resulted from my depression I am trying my best to rid of them! I just recently got rosary beads I hope they help! Anything to get my mind off something horrid, sick and twisted!

  In the way of a cure for these bad habits, I suggest, reflecting, meditation, focus hardly on the positives and pray to God, even if you don't believe him it just helps talking it out. Rosary helps me, (you don't have to be Catholic to use these) focus on Jesus instead of something morbid and totally wrong!

  Evanescence * Thoughts class*
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  damselfly

  I also procrastinate a lot. And I have severe avoidance issues regarding tasks that I am uncomfortable with. I agree with Tal's comments, but the main reason I do this is because I feel that I'm never going to be good enough. Why go to that party because no one will want to talk to me. Why apply for that job when I'm not what they want. Why go to school when I'm not smart enough. It's all about the fear of rejection for me. It's safer to not put yourself out there then to do it and get hurt.

  I'm getting much better about all of it, which only started to happen when I was able to admit to myself why I was doing it.

  Dams
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  mrsjones5

  She said it had to do with Armageddon, and the fact that as a JW, I was taught that there is no future to prepare for. The early conditioning had impressed on my psyche that nothing in the present mattered, only the hope for Paradise. Also, as JWs, we didn't learn how to make goals, and work towards them. It was all about this week's meetings, FS, etc.

  Oh my god Talesin that is so totally me even though I dont believe the crap anymore.

  Josie
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  jaffacake

  One of my bad habits is procrastination and not finishing stuff. In attempting to change this,

  Yeah, that's my problem too. but I'm going to do something about it, one of these days!
• 

  JH

  A neighbour across the street, (man in his early 60's) when he talks to me, is always tapping me on the arm, as if "listen to me when I speak". and he never stops... even when I let him speak. If I just look away for one second, he taps again, meaning look at me when I speak....geez

  I hate that !!!!! when people tap me on the arm every 10 secons or so, when they speak. I know another one like that too. If only it was a female

  Rat, of the stays an arms length away from people like that.