Funny Songs that Remind You of JWs

Scully

After reading metatron's post about how love among yourselves has dropped to a lower priority for the WTS, I was reminded of a song that I heard ages ago by Weird Al Yankovic that basically says how I feel about any fleeting thought about going back to the JWs.

Do you have any songs that remind you of why you'll never go back?

Here's mine; I changed the lyrics to suit:

(constant doo wops in the background throughout the song)

Aahh....

Well you heard that we're leavin’ (leavin’)
Gonna leave you far behind (so far behind)
’cause you found a brand new recruit and
You decided that we're not your kind (aahh..)

So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my service book (oohh..)
And I tore all your Watchtowers in two
And I burned down the coffee shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of JW (dippity dippity doo)

That’s right (that’s right) you ain’t gonna see me cryin’
I’m glad (I’m glad) that I found something new
’cause I’d rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kinda bitter
Your lies got me feeling down in the dumps
’cause I’m stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, I don't need help with that suitcase
You ain’t (you ain’t) gonna break my heart in two
’cause I’d rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I’d rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I’d rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again

Oh, can’t you see what I’m tryin’ to say, darlin...

I’d rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I’d rather clean all the bathroom in grand central station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I’d rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I’d rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I’d rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands
And then throw it on the floor and stomp on it ’till I die
Than spend one more minute with you

ohiocowboy

The Looney Tunes theme

littlerockguy

Harper Valley PTA

dedpoet

Won't get fooled again by the who sums it up for me

Mary

Last thing I remember; I was running for the door; I had to find the passage there to the place I was before; 'Goodnight' said the elder; we are programmed to receive; you can check out any time you like; but you can never leave.

CountryGuy

Scully, I loved Wierd Al's original and I LOVE your version.

Here's mine (slightly modified). It's a bit obvious, but too fitting to pass up:

I Hear You Knocking
I went away and left long time ago
Now your knocking on my door
I hear you knocking
But you can't come in
I hear you knocking
Go back where you been

You begged me not to go but I said goodbye
Still your telling me all your lies
I hear you knocking
But you can't come in
I hear you knocking
Go back where you been

You better get back to your used to be
'Cause your kind of love ain't good for me
I hear you knocking
But you can't come in
I hear you knocking
Go back where you been

I told you way back in '92
I no longer wanted to be seen with you
I hear you knocking
But you can't come in
I hear you knocking
Go back where you been

Sara Annie

"Who can it be knocking at my door?

make no sound, tiptoe across the floor...

If he hears, he'll knock all day,

I'll be trapped, and here I'll have to stay..."

Who can it be now??

MerryMagdalene

I'm not sure why, but here goes:

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom
for trying to change the system from within.
I'm coming now, I'm coming to reward them.
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.

I'm guided by a signal in the heavens.
I'm guided by this birthmark on my skin.
I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons.
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin,

I'd really like to live beside you, baby.
I love your body and your spirit and your clothes.
But you see that line there, moving through the station?
I told you I told you I told you I was one of those.

You loved me as a loser but now you're worried that I just might win.
You know the way to stop me but you don't have the discipline.
How many nights I prayed for this: to let my work begin.
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.

----Leonard Cohen

Crumpet

Does anyone remember the theme tune to the Muppet show back in the eighties - well there is a kingdom song that had several bars that were exactly like the intro the the muppets. I just can't remember which one!

ballistic

This is a bit of an embarrassing story, but I sat down at my keyboard the other day and started playing a kingdom song by mistake. I think because of the way I play experimental stuff, make stuff up or just jam on the keyboard, sometimes I play a chord or two of a song by mistake and it just goes from there.

Funny Songs that Remind You of JWs

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