by Confession 45 Replies latest jw experiences
((( Confession )))
Thank you for your wonderfully written story of your faith and exit. I don't read long posts very often but yours had me captivated. I want to email it to family members, but that might just cut me off again..... I will use the "confession" stand if I'm ever in a possition to "debate" with them, for what they are willing to debate.
I'm glad you're here.
Brenda
PS - MODS, CAN THIS BE PUT IN "BEST OF" PLEASE!
What is that thing which causes you to question, to dig beneath the surface? I have decided that it is not education or intelligence. My husband is a very educated man, with a good job in Accountancy and voraciously reads the financial pages of newpapers. I am yet to meet someone who can out-debate him. Yet, he is out on service every Saturday morning and rarely misses a meeting. He passionately defends the Jehovah's Witnesses at every opportunity, and gets upset at even the indication of a criticism. In short, he wears his 'Kingdom Badge' with pride never fearing to declare his allegiance to anyone who questions the reason behind his actions. In spite of my allusions to the Society's shaky arguments on blood, disfellowshipping, the 1914 theory and repeated failed predictions, he is still full steam ahead. So what is it? What does it take to get to where you have arrived?
Pensive, subjects like this intrigue me too. Why do people stay? Perfectly intelligent people who are not willing to give serious consideration to the reams of information that we ourselves have discovered. I'm sure there are potentially many reasons. I'm also sure other contributers here can do a better job explaining things like "cognitive dissonance," which I think is at the heart of most every JW's finally getting hit by the clue bus.
I think the answer is akin to the reason why many addicts of different sorts (overeaters, alcoholics) don't ever seriously address their issues. While there may be several layers to their dependancy problem, as long as life continues with relative ease, they see no important reason to face their addictions. But when life hits rock bottom, when the world gives you a good shaking, they finally begin to take things seriously. While I experienced the "flashpoints" I described throughout the years, I'm forced to realize that many of the BIG realizations I came to occurred after such a life-quake. This does NOT mean that a person has to feel alienated by the organization in order to see the truth. It just increases the likelihood that you may open your mind.
Additionally, I've studied the subject of Human Temperament quite a lot. (Myers-Briggs) There is no question in my mind that the Guardian temperament (the concrete cooperator) is more likely to seek out formalized systems, with a well-referenced code of rules.
Further, it seems clear to me that many people (in and out of the WTS) do not need to have substantive reassurance that this is "The Truth" after a certain point. They at some point were sufficiently impressed with the WTS' argumentation on things such as the Trinity, Immortality of the Soul or Hellfire--and chose to recognize it as the true religion. They have subsequently found a place in the community and have found comfort there. The organization has trained them to believe that "bible study" involves reading paragraphs the Society has written, then raising their hand, and (basically) reiterating what's there. After having heard so many other friends express their appreciation for "Jehovah's organization" and having done so themselves, it sort of gels. The fact that the organization has created a very impressive "self sanitizing" system that keeps them from hearing what some disfellowshiped people have to say--and listening to anything that opposers might say--and the way in which they keep placing these beautiful images of the new system in front of them--goes a long way toward keep the gel firm.
I'll reference the experience I related in the story I wrote. Why did the fact that the Bible did not seem to teach that confession to men is necessary to receive God's forgiveness, and that the Society's own publications often suggested the same thing--have such an impact on me--and none of the other brothers that sat on that Judicial Committee with me? I wasn't trying to find fault; doggone it, I was trying to know the truth! I wanted to know how to help my brother. I wanted to know how to defend the teaching that God required such confession to men. The truth, the real truth, mattered to me. I wasn't goofing around here. I thought this was really "The Truth." I wasn't just going along. At least I didn't think I was.
I've mentioned this before in other threads. I think a really great question to pose to JWs is this...
If you became convinced that it wasn't really "The Truth," would you leave?
I think most JWs would try and shy away from this question. I didn't. When asked it a few times over the years, I answered: "Yes. Yes, I would leave." Why would most JWs be hesitant to say they would? Because they don't even want to entertain such a possibility. To suggest that they would ever leave the organization for any reason would raise eyebrows unnecessarily. Such talk fringes on "apostate territory."
I wish you well. I hope your husband comes to see it for what it is one day soon.
I really enjoyed reading your story. Thanks for sharing.
kj
To lisaBObeesa, AK Jeff, anewme, Brenda and kj:
Thank you for reading--and leaving a comment. Another contributer here has suggested I expand upon the story and have it published. I think I'll do just that. It's therapeutic for me. And the idea that it may give others something to relate to is an added bonus.
Best,
Confession
Wow!
Have you ever considered writing as a career.... I thouroughly enjoyed reading your story! I related to it so much as well.
Thanks for taking the time to share that with us!
Miss Peaches.
Thank you, Miss Peaches... And, yes, I am actually a writer. Although I regularly write radio and television commercials--I enjoy writing pieces like "That Voice" considerably more. I'm glad to hear you related to it.
Wonderful account!! Thank you for posting that. I once read an article by a hypnotist (sorry, don't recall which one ) who, in answer to a question, said that intelligent people were the easiest to hypnotise. I wonder if this observation could also apply in some way to susecptibility in religion. Seems to me that the JW religion uses some of the same methods as hypnotists to lull, cajole and take control of a person's inmost self, rendering them pliable and vulnerable to any suggestion.
Most of us are aware of the strange phenomenom of post-hypnotic suggestion where a whole room full of people will bark on command, or stand on their heads in response to thoughts planted in their minds while in a sleep like state. Many years out of the cult, I was at a get-together with witness people and saw for myself evidence of the similarity when almost everyone of them burst into slogans and re-iterations at the mere mention of certain words. It was startling. I even tried to get them going by mentioning certain trigger words like "education", "old system of things" etc and then stood back and watched the glaze come over them and their mouths moving word for word right out of the WT publications. It was amusing in a sad sort of way and eerie at the same time.
Once we are out the whole disturbing picture comes into focus and we wonder how could they have fooled us for so long. I've read plenty of outbursts on this forum from people who can't believe they once followed that organization without question. My sixteen lost years weigh heavily on me too.
Looking back, however, most of us can pinpoint the event that propelled us out whether it started as a tiny little doubt, or a nagging little voice at the edge of the cult induced sleep....much like your compelling illustration....and we finally got it.
"Forget your perfect ending. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." (from a Leonard Cohen song)
Zulukai, I really enjoyed reading your comments. Yes, indoctrinated we were. In the classic sense. Glad to see you found your way out of mind prison. I'm still trying to get used to life out here myself.
Confession - You have a magical ability with your words. Thanks for the PM bringing it to our attention.
Hey, Cali!
Thanks for the note. Sorry I haven't responded to your e-mail...I'm going to do that now.
