Born In, the Difference (page 4)

seven006

“that” drink? You mean as “one” drink? You’re kidding, right? “One” drink?

I remember the last time Alan F. and his wife came to visit me. We had only “one” drink. It lasted from Monday to Sunday. All you ex-JW neurotics drink like fish. Six or seven at one sitting is absolutely my new limit!

Dave

BrendaCloutier

I find it hard to explain to him that when you have been indoctrinated since you were born, in the way WLG describes, at 18 you still really dont have a choice. What 18 yr old can choose losing everything and everyone he has known in order to leave? Its a snug straight jacket. Its so snug it takes you years to realise you are in a straight jacket at all.

I understand staying in after one turns 18 due to the ingrained fear of leaving into that wicked wicked world.

I had little choice in the matter. It was 2-fold. My good JW Ministerial Servant Material husband was developing his alcoholism and was also being very sharply treated just before and after we were married.

In his congregation was being treated as if I had married out of the truth... shunned for marrying into a spiritually weak family. And this was by elders and elders' families that I thought were friends of mine and of my parents! People I had known growing up. I saw things in the congregation that just weren't right. Power mongers and cliques like you wouldn't believe (yes, many of you would). It got to a point that even going without my husband, I just couldnt bear it any longer.

So I was "pushed" out...

When I discussed it with my dad, he expressed that some congregations don't show Jehovah's love as well as other congregations do. But there was nothing he could do about it. (Same line I always got from my parents - there was never anything they could or would do about abuses I received).

Then my own alcoholism developed further and the drinking helped fill the void and the guilt of leaving witlessdom.

After leaving and divorcing D**, at 25 yo, I actually looked at going back! What turned me off totally was I was invited to a party in December. There were about 25 or 30 people there. We had a lot of fun. I wasn't drinking at the time, so remained quite sober, and watchfull. Everyone drank "punch", we played games and sang kingdom songs, then everyone was fed coffee and sent home. The only thing missing were the Christmas decorations! I turned my sights away from JWism completely after that.

Purza

WLG:

There is more truth in your post than there ever was in "the truth".

I have been meaning to write my parents a letter in order to try to start the healing process. Who knows if it will work or not, but I just need to do it for me. Would you mind if I used a few sentences of your thoughts in a personal letter to my parents?

Purza

BrendaCloutier

Purza, If I can suggest the primary content of your letter not be JWism, but how grateful you are to your parents for xxxx

For me, it was my mom teaching me how to sew at a young age, and how to make my own patterns. For my dad it was teaching me how to use power tools, how electricity AC and DC worked, and the basics on how cars work, and how to change a flat tire.

For both, it was adopting me, because I was raised much better by them, even as a JW, then by my birthmother. My siblings had it really rough by comparasin.

Hugs

Brenda

joelbear

i think the worst part is that you are simply expected to believe everything you are taught. the more I look back, the less I think I ever believed. i definitely had a different set of morality driving me than JW's had.

i love the pleasure of living. a JW youth was discouraged from this. I think the more I realize that I really never was a JW the happier I seem to be and the more self worth I seem to have.

happehanna

Thanks for a great post!!

I just wonder why I put up with being one for so many years as an adult, when I knew it wasn't right? It is knowing no other reality I suppose.

startingover

WLG

What a great post! I have reread it several times. Definitely a keeper!

On top of all you mentioned because my dad was the top dog in the congregation, I was known as a preachers son in school, and then had to live with the guilt of him not being able to hold the position he wanted because I discovered the "gift" of the double life. It's no wonder some of us have baggage.

Purza

If I can suggest the primary content of your letter not be JWism, but how grateful you are to your parents for xxxx

I agree. This will be an extremely long letter -- that is why I have been procrastinating. I am not going to bash their JW beliefs (that would be pointless). However, I think there are some key elements to WLG's post that I could use to maybe help them see why I lied to them as a teen, etc.

Thanks for your input. I appreciate it.

Purza

kid-A

I think there are actually two advantages being 'born in', despite the crap you go through as a kid and all the fun you miss out on:

1) you didnt 'choose' this way of life OR thinking, therefore you have much less psychological investment in it.

2) when you eventually ESCAPE (and I ran a survey a while back on this page and found that about 80% of the posters on this site were "born intos" that had indeed escaped) you have the pleasure (as I am having now) of RELIVING your childhood with all the holidays, etc, being experienced as brand new! I had my first christmas at 24!! LOL

startingover

2) when you eventually ESCAPE (and I ran a survey a while back on this page and found that about 80% of the posters on this site were "born intos" that had indeed escaped) you have the pleasure (as I am having now) of RELIVING your childhood with all the holidays, etc, being experienced as brand new! I had my first christmas at 24!! LOL

Unless your wife is still a loyal dub.

Born In, the Difference

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