They aren't making much effort to bring me back, and I'm glad !!!

by JH 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  JH

  I've been inactive for many years, but last March an elder came over to invite me to the memorial. After that he came back and offered a bible study, which I didn't want but stupidly I accepted because I felt kind of pressured, thinking that if I didn't I would be maybe DF'd for some reason.

  So, I studied about half of the book with the elder, once a week, and went to a few meetings. I did this also so that I could remember what JW life was all about. It gave me a reason more to not want to live a JW life.

  Then in late June, I just stopped going to meetings, and told the elder that I started working out of town and would be absent for 3 weeks. But now it's been 7 weeks, and the elder only phoned once, and didn't come over. He knows that I'm home because other witnesses saw me around town.

  I should never have opened my door to him just before the memorial. I just wanted to go to that one and only meeting, but as you know the JW's one thing leads to another, and after one meeting, there's another one, and it never stops.

  Bottom line here, if you don't want to be a JW and give your 100%, don't even go to one meeting, because you'll be trapped.

  Now, I just hope the elder studying with me, will keep on ignoring me.
• 

  PaulJ

  It cant be easy. I know when my brother started to 'fall away' the elders would chase him down the street!!!
• 

  luna2

  In our congregation there is a pioneer sister who is everything the WTS says a pioneer sister should be. She helps her indigent bible studies, she helps with an elderly, mentally handicapped sister, she doesn't waste time driving aimlessly out in service, she gives gentle correction and direction to others in the congregation (whether they appreciate it or not) and is extremely disciplined personally. I was her special project for a long time. I don't know if I was assigned to her or if she took it upon herself to "help" me after my oldest son died.

  We went out in service most every Tuesday morning...when I didn't find something else of massive importance to do and beg off. When I stopped going to meetings and stopped going out in service altogether, she didn't let me go without a fight. She'd call, stop by my work, stop by my house on Saturday or Tuesday mornings. I mostly avoided her. I felt bad that she was so worried, but I'd made a decision not to go back as the lame, weak little witnoid that had to be spoon fed and constantly hand-held. I finally told her that. She said that I was "too hard on myself"...which is kind of funny because if I was hard on myself it was only what I'd been taught to be by the wonderful FDS.

  I got perhaps three phone calls from various elders in the four years I've been inactive...they obviously are too busy to get in an uproar over one, weak sister gone MIA. Sister F, however, still calls and occassionally stops by. I'm careful, though, not to agree to anything...especially not to going to a meeting. LOL I really should let the poor woman know that I'm done with it all and will never return.
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  AK - Jeff

  Care needs to be used here too, in that some elders will view a return to even a single meeting as evidence that you once again consider the Witness organization to have influence and authority in your life.

  I have known of former witnesses being DF'd after going back to a meeting or two, on this premise. When inactive they were ignored, but now any bad conduct can be used against them to protect the flock.

  Out of sight, out of mind, might be the best policy if u want to stay 'faded' without repercussion.

  Jeff
• 

  vitty

  Since my last meeting over a year ago Iv had 3 calls from 2 sisters and 1 call from our book study elder inviting us to the memorial, im so glad no one has made a big effort. It must be really hard trying to fade if they pursue you
• 

  daystar

  After I left.. no one called... ever.
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  shera

  I can't recall if your parents and other family members are JW's ? It is so much harder to be rid of that damn cult when you're at risk of looking loved ones.

  Hope you can just be done and gone from them ASAP!

  Funny tho,how I have dreams of going to one meeting and I feel trapped and I can't get away!
• 

  JH

  No Shera, I have no family there. I already had an uncle and aunt, but both are dead, of old age...like most of the witnesses will die of.

  I joined because I believed in it, not because of family.

  I think that I hate what you call "blind faith".
• 

  Finally-Free

  What do you have to lose if you just tell them to f*ck off and quit bothering you? Unless you have family who are JWs, or if you are employed by JWs, would getting DF'd adversely affect your quality of life?

  W
• 

  kls

  They do seem to slack off for a bit but then they may start to rerecruit ,so be very careful.