A Customer really pissed me off yesterday at work: SHE WANTS TO PRAY for me

by Terry 116 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  tetrapod.sapien

  nice Terry...

  too bad you were at work though, you could have really engaged her otherwise.

  i had a lady tell me one day not long ago:

  God bless you.

  i just responded with a quick: "Thanks, but Nature beat Him to it."

  next time i am going to say: "And may the Force be with You!"

  i am really tired of religious people thinking that this is a nice thing to say, even if the other person does not believe in the their god.

  if someone told me that they were going to pray for me, i would say:

  "thanks! and allahuakbar!"
• 

  Pole

  Ramen!
• 

  misspeaches

  She wants to pray for you huh... Next time give her a list of things to include in her prayer.

  Let me win the lottery, help me find someone to razzle with this weekend....
• 

  hmike

  I've seen a lot pf people writing about "THEIR feelings" and how to be harsh. Is it too hard to be gracious to someone who meant well, even if the efforts were somewhat awkward and seemed insensitive? Hmmm....maybe it is.
• 

  Terry

  I've seen a lot pf people writing about "THEIR feelings" and how to be harsh. Is it too hard to be gracious to someone who meant well, even if the efforts were somewhat awkward and seemed insensitive? Hmmm....maybe it is.

  There should be, in my opinion, a hard line drawn in the sand. People with behavior that we find less than tolerable should be called out and it presented to them. How else do people glimpse how they are seen through the eyes of others? The tenderness/coarseness issue is worth considering; but, the important thing is to defend your self when it is confronted with unreasonableness and irrational nonsense. I have zero tolerance for unreasonable people.

  When people confront me with my foibles and pecadillos I am grateful after I get over being seen as less than perfect :)

  Terry
• 

  LittleToe

  People with behavior that we find less than tolerable should be called out and it presented to them.

  I couldn't agree more
• 

  katiekitten

  People with behavior that we find less than tolerable should be called out and it presented to them.

  
  

  
  Do you mean like this?

  Once i worked on a building site and there were loads of girly calendars up. Well I was only 18, and a good dub, and hence pretty embarrased. So one day I got a poster of 3 naked men. Actually it was pretty discreet and artistic, you couldnt see no tackle, cos they had their legs cleverly arranged, but you could see they were butt naked. I put my poster up over my desk where I worked and by lunchtime the same day I was told by my boss to take it down (there being 2 girly titty callendars in the same office) because so many contractors had complained about it.

  When i asked what the complaint was he said 'it offensive' so I said ' well they are offensive' - basically every reason he gave I just repeated it back. I still got told to take it down though.

  About a year later I worked in a closed office with two chain smokers. So one day I took a packet of insence sticks into work. Every time one of the ladies lit up a ciggy I lit up an insence stick. Believe me I was pretty nervous about doing it, but I made myself. Again same thing. By mid afternoon they had gone and complained to the boss, who then had to come and confront me and tell me to stop doing it. Same thing every reason he cited I repeated (it smells, its anti social, we dont like it etc etc) Same thing - he pulled rank and made me stop doing it, but a few months later we moved offices and they made it non smoking.
• 

  poppers

  On the day my father died shortly after seeing him for the last time, dead on a hospital gurney, tears flowing down my face while in total anguish, a "good hearted Christian" approached me to give me the "key" to overcoming my grief. I was never so angry with a "christian" before - what arrogance, what conceit - she was like a vulture patrolling the hallways of the hospital looking for people to save.
• 

  katiekitten

  Poppers, that sucks, its predatory.
• 

  hmike

  People with behavior that we find less than tolerable should be called out and it presented to them. How else do people glimpse how they are seen through the eyes of others?

  I couldn't agree more

  Hi Terry,

  I've gone over this post a few times, looking at the dynamics of this conversation. I'm glad you posted it.

  What are offensive and intolerable actions for some are not for others, as katiekitten illustrated. While this approach didn't have a positive effect with you, it would with others. There are people whose lives are changed for the better because of encounters very much like this. I think it was her opinions more than her actions that bothered you. I wonder how offended you would have been if she had espoused the same viewpoint that you have? Besides, you didn't say anything to her about her action being offensive--you only made statements that disagreed with her position. All this probably did was re-enforce the perception she formed that you were a lost soul in darkness needing to be saved. Sorry, but I don't see anything in your response that would deter her from approaching others in this manner, or move her to modify her approach, if that was your intent (based on your reply quoted above).

  You both made presumptions about each other--a potentially dangerous thing to do in a conversation with someone you don't know. Actually, it looks like you are the one who set the tone for the way the conversation developed. You used the phrase "religious fanatic" which carries with it negative connotations and is generally considered derogetory in our culture. Then you attached to it a description which she would not only consider very noble, but one she would identify with: "...I devoted myself entirely to thoughts and actions concerning the bible, what god's will was in my life..." and then the part about trying to convince others to do the same. So, essentially, what you did was call her, in her mind, a "religious fanatic" with all the negative baggage it carries. You PRESUMED it was a harmless statement. Now, in retrospect, you may actually feel that way, but so you understand, you fired the first shot. Whatever else you said after that about this phrase was lost; this is what stuck.

  I noticed you went from claiming to be agnostic and not really knowing, to making a very authoritative statement about the "empty sky" and "silent room."

  The reason I suggested in an earlier post that you should have mentioned that you came out of JW is that you probably sounded to her like a backslidden Christian missionary. Maybe it would have altered her response, maybe not, considering she didn't seem to adjust her approach based on your feedback, but I see it as an important part of the story. And the part about going to prison instead of fighting in Vietnam--if it had been me, I would have wanted to hear more about that, especially since I don't think that is a proper application of "Love your enemies."

  Looks like she was also implying that you have cuckoo eggs in your brain. Was that the basis for your later topic?

  There are things about her approach I don't agree with--and the marytrdom part is a little strange--but this looks like an example of two people talking but not listening. Not much is accomplished for either side that way.

  Thanks again for the topic.

  Regards,

  Mike