My wife is thinking of quitting the "truth"!

by Goldminer 28 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Angharad

  Btw,she finally called a local elder to see if he can help me with my many questions.He's coming over tonight so it should be quite interesting.I think he'll be a little surprised at some of the direct questions I have;I'm also hoping that after a while he decides there's not much hope for me and just labels me an apostate and starts talking about df'ing me.That would show my wife their attitude towards answering questions that have no scriptural answers

  Good luck Goldminer. This is what I did too. I called in the elders thinking they would answer Simon's questions and sort him out !That meeting and they way they answered him, how they treated him was what convinced me that what Simon was saying made sense and I agreed to look into things properly with an open mind, didn't look back.
• 

  ChrisVance

  Good show. I'm anxiously awaiting to hear how the "meeting" goes.
• 

  Purza

  Another positive factor is that she has made 2 good "worldly" friends over the past year.I think she's starting to see that people on the outside can be nice,have morals and accept others as they are.

  My friendship with a worldly person is what started my descent out of the JWs. A couple of my close JW friends noticed and they tried to put a stop to my friendship. It only made matters worse as I found my worldly friend to be more loyal to me than my JW friends.

  I wish you the best with your meeting tonight and I hope your wife sees the light.

  Purza
• 

  GetBusyLiving

  Best of luck with your wife and the elder visit tonight Goldminer! By the way, what questions are you thinking of asking him?

  GBL

  P.S. LOVE that avatar.. he he
• 

  Sassy

  Yes.. good luck!! just that she would voice out load she is thinking of quitting.. says something..

  and I agree, 'worldly friends' as well.......AND being burned by dubs.. all that may help her let go..

  I hope so for you.. and her!
• 

  Goldminer

  I have 32 questions altogether,none dealing with the generation change,1975,blood or alternative service.The first 15 questions begin with "Where does the bible make such statements:",they all require only the bible to answer which should make it somewhat hard to answer some of them.

  Anyways,the wife wants to start with the 607 question first.Fine with me,I won't budge until there's proof beyond a doubt,so I guess that could be as far as we get tonight.

  I have to admit I feel a little nervous right now but I firmly these questions have a right to be asked if the WTS has the right to claim to represent God.I'll do my best to post an update tomorrow morning and I'll try to attach my questions to my post.

  Goldminer
• 

  TheListener

  Good luck Goldminer.

  Remember, keep a cool head and your wife will be impressed with your loving attitude. Most likely the elder will get frustrated and start concentrating on her.
• 

  Scully

  Goldminer, this is great news. I hope it turns out well for both of you.

  Something has me a bit concerned though:

  She says she finds it too hard with me having doubts and not wanting to be a jw anymore.

  I hope you're not getting set up to be in a situation where she resents you over her decision. It would be good if you could sit down with her sometime and just reassure her that you don't want her to make the decision lightly, and that you want her to make the decision for herself, not because she feels that you're making it hard for her to keep going to meetings, etc.

  When I wanted to quit, Mr Scully decided to follow along, but for a while we were caught up in that "if it weren't for you, we'd still be in The Truth™" whenever he was feeling stressed out. I told him that if that's how he really felt, that he should go back, but not to expect me to go with him. I said "If you want to quit, it has to be your decision entirely, and not something you're doing because you think I want you to do it. Why don't you spend some time reading the Bible and compare it to what the congregation is doing, and what the Society is teaching. If you're happy with the comparison, I won't stop you from going back if that's what you want to do. If you don't like what you're finding out, then you'll have what you need to make an informed and intelligent decision."

  Maybe you can find something that you both enjoy doing to occupy yourselves as a couple on meeting nights. Take a cooking class or go to the movies, so you can re-build your relationship. Encourage her to get involved with her new friends the same way. Start getting to know the neighbours and interact socially with them. One of the hardest things about "quitting The Truth™" is having to start friendships from scratch when you're an adult, but it's the best way to get over the fact that you're losing the social network that you have become comfortable with.

  It's great that she's thinking in those terms, but it would be so much better if it was with a positive sense of purpose instead of an I-give-up-you-win defeatist frame of mind.

  Cheers, Scully
• 

  Check_Your_Premises

  Goldminer you have my most sincere congratulations.

  I am also incredibly jealous.

  Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

  Another mind freed!
• 

  GoingGoingGone

  Goldminer -

  I'm jealous too!! But I'm happy for you!! And I hope all goes well with your meeting tonight.

  GGG