Not DA'd, Not DF'd - but pretty much Disowned...

by Ingenuous 44 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Valis

  I sat there and told him - twice - that I wasn't rejecting God or Christ

  If you have to do this again slap him with Luke 9:49. Simple lesson in tolerance JWs have a hard time with...
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  misanthropic

  Ingenuous- Hi, after reading your story I remember going through that too. It’s really hard at first to deal with I know and may or may not get easier in time. My dad just wrote me a letter though instead of talking to me, since he was unable to look me in the eye out of his disappointment in my choices and me as well. I am in the same situation with never being DF’s or DA’d but my parents see it as the same thing since it was a personal choice to leave. You never know maybe they will come around in time but if they don’t, there are a lot of us on here that are in the same situation.

  Also when I read this

  “ I just came from what will probably be the last conversation I'll ever have with my father”,

  I could remember what that felt like. But don’t worry if your parents are anything like many other peoples I know they will most likely try contacting you with a different approach to get you to go back.
• 

  jillbedford

  I can relate. My father met my husband for the first time, after being married for three years. I had been out for ten plus years, hoped things had changed, went back for about 10 meetings and one assembly. This was the conditions my father needed to see to grant me a visit.

  Conditional love, wouldn't you say?

  All choices in life come with a price.
• 

  AuntieJane

  ING: I am totally impressed with your perspective and maturity. You said:

  I've never stopped praying for my parents and the rest of my family. Now that I'm out, though, I don't pray that God make them think like I do or do what I want. I pray for their welfare, that God see the good in their hearts and reward them for it, that He draw them ever closer to him in the ways He sees fit. I hope that one day they will allow me to show my love and respect for them by allowing me to support them in whatever way they need. While I've got a degree of anger toward the Org and even my folks for what they've concluded about me in their hearts, I know I was just as assimilated as they are. I'm disillusioned, but not bitter. I'm too grateful for finding myself, freeing my mind, and drawing closer to God to be bitter.

  Too bad for them, their loss...your BIG GAIN, finding yourself and the True God. Bless you, hon

  Auntie Jane
• 

  Swan

  I know this isn't new to any of your here. It's just very, very new to me.

  It sure brings back the memories of when it happened with me, so it's almost like it happened yesterday. It's a very painful time. And your situation sounds a lot like mine. It is a complex dynamic consisting not of the extrication from the JW org, but compounded with issues of independence and leaving the nest. I too was always the good one, and my parents actually lived at my house when they weren't traveling for about 6 months out of the year. They felt like I was forcing them to find another place to live, even though I made it clear that they were still welcome there.

  Hang in there.

  Tammy