Divorcing (page 2)

CoonDawg

My ex-wife claims that this is the reason she started sleeping with someone else. I don't really buy it. I guess I could have if it had been a one time fling...but after we split, she continued the torrid affair (that was a small town scandal, btw) even shacking up with the guy...then dropping him for someone else. I told her "Gee thanks, next time don't try so hard to do me any favors". It's part of the reason for our bitter animosity to this day. Maybe she really did it because she's a swivel hipped whore instead....it seems more likely.

In HER case, it seems that the idea of "setting me free" was simply an excuse to justify her conduct. As some others mentioned, I have also seen cases where one waits for the other to slip up and that's no way to live.

Ern

talesin

I knew a woman whose husband was savagely beating her, and she was counselled to work on her marriage, don't provoke him, etc. It was mostly covered up.

She finally took the 'adultery' route after years of this, and actually left the SOB to live in sin ... of course, she was DFd, the harlot!

t

I quit!

I saw quite a few instances where this happened. I once had a roomate who put on disguises so he could sneak around his ex-wife's house trying to catch her in adultery so he would be free to remarry. He wanted me to be involved as a witness. Needless to say I thought he was a jerk and declined. He was interested in friend of a girl I knew at another congregation. The sister I knew and her friend asked me what he was like. I told them he was a nightmare to live with and that I was planning on moving. She never went out with him. I always felt good about that.

anewme

Sometimes people are put under extreme pressures for so long they will do just about anything to get away from those pressures. The question is: who put them under the pressures?????? Blame should be evenly dispersed.

karen96

While I sympathize with those who have been the victim of an extra marital affair, I also sympathize with those in the marriage who feel they have no other recourse but commit adultry to get out. Why a bunch of old geezers in Brooklyn had any say in my reasons for divorce is beyond me. They didn't live with the jerk I did.

Karen

FlyingHighNow

Sure did. Several. And it's sad that so many mismatched couples exist in the org. But with such a small dating pool and such pressure to marry, it's inevitable that a lot of couples will end up so miserable that one or both stray.

Maybe she really did it because she's a swivel hipped whore instead....it seems more likely.

I've been cheated on. After six months of nightmares, I looked at the whole situation realistically and it didn't hurt anymore. I realized that even with men, it's not always about just the sex. Sometimes they look for someone they think understands them better, etc. I tried to look at it through his eyes. She was someone who wasn't dealing with him 24/7, so naturally she treated him like he was wonderful. When he came home to me, he had to face our very real problems and my disappointment. I saw her, she was not pretty. She did use drugs with him, which I refused to. She was someone he had that in common with.

When I learned not to take his unfaithfulness personally, I got over the pain. I highly recommend trying to look at things objectively. This can really ease your pain. As for the small town and what they think: who gives a flip? With my JW husband, my second divorce, we lived in a small town. I figure that if people don't see both sides, their feelings are unworth my time and energy. And there are always two sides in a divorce.

Divorcing