maybe I'm making too much out of it.......

by under74 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  under74

  I'm going to try to make a long story short...

  I moved away from my home city for grad school 2 years ago and left a couple boxes at my mom's for safe keeping. My mom ended up moving to a new place during the 2 years I was in school. I noticed on visits that there was only one box I recognized stored out in her new garage and asked her about it...she got defensive and said she took all that was boxed. Well, I realized that the missing box had a little shelf and all these- what would be called knick-knacks. My grandmother gave them to me when she was sick with cancer. I'm pretty sure at the time she new she wasn't going to make it and so she picked out things important to her and chose people in our family they should go with.

  Anyway, I was with my mom yesterday and helping my her go through some old boxes she had put in a closet and without really thinking said " I wish I knew what happened to that box with that stuff grandma gave me." Her response was, " I know. I keep thinking I left it or dumped it without thinking." I didn't get mad or anything...I acted like I didn't hear it. In a way I'm glad she said something about it rather than getting defensive like before...but I felt like crying. Maybe I'm just missing my grandmother. I know it's just material stuff and I'm not going to hold it against my mom afterall I should have taken it with me if I wanted to keep it safe...I don't know why I feel so weepy about this.

  Sorry if I sound pathetic here...just had to get it out.
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  googlemagoogle

  to some simple things we can add a lot of virtual value. especially when they remind us of someone important to us.
  
  i do that too, i've always been sort of a nostalgic kind of person. i don't even need to see those things, but just know i have them. maybe boxed away in the basement. i wouldn't even notice if something's gone, but maybe one day i'd ask where it is and it would disturb me if it was lost.
  
  it's like some part of ones past was finally closed forever.
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  confusedjw

  It sounds like she feels badly about losing the box and I agree that is much better than her acting defensive about it.

  But still it's missing and someday it won't bother you so much.
• 

  PaulJ

  
  I remember once i put some of my ex mother in laws old photos in our cellar and they got damp and ruined. I have never felt so guilty!

  Your Mum probably feels terrible about it.
• 

  under74

  Paul & confused-Yeah, I agree I know my mom feels guilty and that I'll stop missing it someday.

  google- that's exactly it. I had this shelf for 16 years and while I always thought of it as my grandma's stuff I kind of still thought of it as "stuff" until I knew it was lost. Now I miss it. Strange.

  Well, thank you guys. I think I needed to just get it out.
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  Carol

  I have a bunch of my son's stuff in my garage and have moved it twice. I would feel terrible if something happened to it, as I'm sure your mom feels about your boxes. The sorrow of the lost items will pass and you'll always have the great memories! It's normal to miss people you were close to, I still miss my grandfather and he's been gone 36 years, some days I still want to pick up the phone and share something with him, I no longer have anything of his, with the exception of really great memories and life lessons he taught me! Which are the greatest thing he ever gave me!
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  under74

  Thanks carol. I know you're right.
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  Forscher

  An interesting article.
  
  I don't think that the oil companies will allow any competing alternatives on the market in any significant way until the oil wels dry up and they own production of the alternatives. Efficient carburators are not the only thing they've kept off the market. Back in the 70's, I think, an engineer came up with a super-efficient engine that could get over 90 miles to the gallon. They used the clout of the major car manufacturers to keep the engine from being tested as required by EPA regulation so that it could be certified and marketed.
  
  Forscher
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  bikerchic

  umm Forscher dude maybe you meant that post for another thread?

  Hey u-74 I know exactly what you mean, I think it's called misplaced grief in physco babble terms. You are really missing your Grandmother and the "stuff" she gave you represents her in your sub conscience mind. Feel the loss as it comes and goes, acknowledge it and really feel it as time goes by you'll think of it less and less but if you keep stuffing it down it will keep appearing until you HAVE to deal with it.

  Hugs!
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  Big Dog

  Sometimes all we have to remember someone by is a material item. I have my father's wings and rank insignia from when he was in the Air Corps, long before he was a dub. Its all I have to remember him by and it means the world to me, I don't think its pathetic at all.