Happy positive lives after leaving

by tergiversator 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • tergiversator
    tergiversator

    In response to the commonly-repeated myth that all ex-witnesses are bitter angry people with nothing better to do then attack their former religion, I thought we should set the record straight. Where are you in life right now? Are you doing things that you always wanted to do, traveling to interesting places in your free time, making great new friends, generally enjoying life? Do you have a better relationship with God, or, conversely, are you happier than you've ever been having left the trappings of religion behind? It doesn't have to be much, just a little something to show that there is a live after the witnesses - and it can be pretty darn good.

    I'll start: I'm halfway through a degree in geophysics at a very good school, with plans for grad school at least. I have a wonderful never-witness boyfriend and two big, lazy black and white cats. During breaks we've travelled to several different places inside the US, and next week we're leaving for my first-ever trip outside (to England). I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, but I'm not (very) worried about it. I'd like to go into space someday. I'm learning Russian (and Chinese, next term) because I want to (not because it'll help me speak to foreigners in service ). I took a term of karate last year, just because I could.

    On the philoshopical/religious side of things, I am mainly relishing my freedom from always having to be so sure about everything. I like being able to ask questions and not knowing what sort of answer I might get. I think I understand quite a bit better what real Christianity could be - but at the same time I find myself more and more drawn to the conclusion that maybe there really isn't anything out there. I'd call myself an agnostic, but that sounds way too sure of myself .

    All right, who's next?

  • GodRules
    GodRules

    Of course your going to have great lives. Enjoy it while you can. All enemies of Jehovah seem to have great lives, but that's just because Satan already has them under his control.

  • Ustabee
    Ustabee

    Tergiversator asked:

    In response to the commonly-repeated myth that all ex-witnesses are bitter angry people with nothing better to do then attack their former religion, I thought we should set the record straight. Where are you in life right now? Are you doing things that you always wanted to do, traveling to interesting places in your free time, making great new friends, generally enjoying life?

    I am at the pinnacle of a career in my chosen field. [One that I no longer feel guilty about the politics involved.] I get to travel around the country on business regularly, meeting interesting people and generally enjoying it. I'm married to a fabulous lady(non-JW)[Lefty] who loves me and I love her. I'm 53 and ride a motorcycle, something I probably would never have done as a JW. [Wrong image, you know.] I hang out with people who interest me and not people chosen for their ability to be taken in by WT dogma. I sing karaoke and shoot pool. The beer is a bonus. I'm having a great time and I don't worry anymore about my falsified time reports; or Armageddon coming next week. ;-) I'm not a 'disgruntled former JW', I'm a former JW who wonders why in hell it took me 22 years to figure out the truth about the trooth. Jimi Hendrix said it best, "Freedom" that's all you have to say.

  • Stacey
    Stacey

    I will ignore GodRule's ignorant comment...

    Yes, life is good after leaving the lie. I'm just now preparing to spend the next year traveling. I'm planning a move to Hawaii for a couple months at the beginning of the year. Then Europe in the Spring, and then some travel within the US in the next year.

    I'm also still in the spot of not knowing what I want to be when I grow up. But life is still stretched out before me, and I know I have time and oppurtunity for those decisions as I go along.

    Spritually I am still figuring my own thoughts and experiences out. It just seems like everyone is really in their own world. I am very happy with questions in life. What is it all about and the eternal question of WHY... I dont have an answer. I used to be very uneasy not having an answer. Of course when I was a JW i did have an answer. But I dont believe that answer to be the true answer. What is the true answer? Well I dont really think it's humanly possible for anyone to have the true answer. I guess part of that is that I dont believe in revealed religion or books. But that's just me. I respect anyone who wants to believe differently than that.

    Life is good. Yes there are bad parts and tough times. But our human spirits are strong and the bad times quite often make us better people.

    That's all for now...

  • Ustabee
    Ustabee

    GodRules said:

    Of course your going to have great lives. Enjoy it while you can. All enemies of Jehovah seem to have great lives, but that's just because Satan already has them under his control.

    Whoa, Nellie! 'Enemy of Jehovah?' The WTS is NOT Jehovah, never has been, never will be!

    Every politician's message is, stated or unstated: "Are you better now than you were four years ago?" I have to answer a resounding "YES!"

  • individuals wife
    individuals wife

    GodRules -

    All enemies of Jehovah seem to have great lives, but that's just because Satan already has them under his control.

    Yeah, right.... I think the truth of the matter is that we are happy because we are no longer under the oppressive thumb and control of the organisation......

    tergiverstor - nice thread - nice and positive!

    My life has certainly improved since I da'd last November, I am going back to college in September to do a course then hopefully (if I get through the interview, fingers crossed) I will be going to nursing college the following September. I could not have dreamed of doing this when I was a JW, there was no encouragement at all to better yourself unless it took the form of reaching out for 'priveleges' or becoming a pioneer. Been there, done that, never again. Now I am going to do what I want to do for a change.

    My family and I have been able to travel.. and to really enjoy it, without having to worry about finding the local khall and going to meetings when you really just want to be enjoying yourself.

    My girls have been able to join the Girl Guide Movement, something they could never have contemplated before, it has given them a real sense of adventure. Instead of sitting in a draughty hall listening to some old bloke drone on they are out having fun, abseiling, camping, fancy dress parties, you name it. What a difference this has made in their lives, it has given them so much to look forward to.

    And for me too, I have so much to look forward to now, not just some fantastical hope of a paradise but something real, something I can rely on being true and reliable.

    As for religion, I choose to sit on the fence for now (I came across this statement on the ministry once, the elder I was working with said - ah, but do you know that it is Satan that owns the fence.... yeah, right..) I have been the 'victim' of three different religions now and feel a little bit weary, maybe somewhere down the line I will regain my interest in spiritual things, but for now, I'm happy, I can live without it.

    So to sum up, I feel that I have done more proper 'living' in the last 10 months or so than I have for years and years. Long may it continue!!

  • Esmeralda
    Esmeralda

    Great thread, tergiversator! I'd love to put your post, or anything you care to write on this subject up on the web. I started a successful lives section of my website just because so many people said the same thing: "all ex-jw's get stuck and are bitter!" not true!
    Check out the stories folks have sent me at: http://www.wtsurvivors.homestead.com/EsmereldaLetters.html

    I am happier now than I've ever been. I am married to a wonderful (never jw) man, raising a happy and healthy child, and allowing myself to develop fully as a person despite living with chronic pain and illness (due to Multiple Sclerosis).

    I find the website writing and correspondance I do with others trying to land on their feet after leaving the tower to be the most rewarding work I've ever done.

    I could go on for hours about how much better my life is for being free of the Borg!

    If anyone wants to contribute their happy outcomes and have them up on the web, please e mail them to me. I appreciate it and will post your real name only if you explicitly tell me to: otherwise I use net aliases.

    Thanks again tergiversator!

    *hugs*
    Essie

  • circe
    circe

    I posted this just a few hours ago under the "Truth Hurts" thread. After reading this thread I thought I'd post it here as well:

    I don't think that Joel was saying that we have to offer an alternative religion or philosophy to Decided (or to those that visit this site).

    I do think he was trying to say that maybe it would help various lurkers and posters if we offered positive experiences in our life that have happened as a result of leaving JW's.

    Am I right Joel?

    What will life be like if you leave?

    I for one, work full time as a manager for a natural foods and vitamin store. I've been with them off and on for seven years. I've recently had to declare bankruptcy (mostly due to attitudes I had toward money that I picked up from JW's: no need to worry the end is coming Real Soon Now). The people I work for purchased a car for me and I'm paying them back.

    I'm married to an ex-JW. He posts here as felix angler. We have a nice apartment and hope to have a house sometime in the next few years. We have four cats and four zebra finches (and would have a house full of ferrets if I had my way).

    I get to sleep in on Sundays, peacefully, knowing that I'm a good person and that some boogy-man in the sky isn't going to fry my butt for not selling magazines and books on the weekends.

    We've been celebrating our birthdays. I even put together an "Easter" basket for my hubby this year (although we celebrate it as the Pagan holiday that it is).

    We've considered attending the UU church in order to meet local like-minded people and to get involved in community things. My views of God are off the wall and unique, but I know that I'll be welcome at the UU because of their accepting attitude towards individual beliefs.

    I am able to make friends with workmates without judging them as "worldly". I'm able to attend social gatherings without worrying about "bad association".

    I get to watch the people walking by in the park without thinking "Oh those poor people, they don't have The Truth(tm). I hope they get it soon or they are all going to DIE!" Instead I watch them and think "I wonder what they believe about God? I wonder if they are good people? Do they have kids? What are their lives like?" And if they look like they need help, I know I can offer help without feeling like a hypocrite because it was drummed into my brain that if I really wanted to help them I would offer a Free Home Bible Study, instead of food, money or a blanket. Sigh.

    I would have to say that the biggest positive benefit that I have reaped in my life due to leaving JW's is the feeling of PEACE that I have towards the world and the people in it (including myself).

    circe

  • bboyneko 2
    bboyneko 2

    Well, let's see..isn't it itresting that we post a positive thread and the only negative comment is made by a JW? anyway....

    I left at 18 and Im now 22..I live in an expensive apartment with a pretty view and a nice fireplace with my girlfriend Saffron, from Norway and my two kittens, Bear and Style. They are bengals. I will post pics soon :)

    I work as a web designer full-time, and I have taken up breakdancing semi-professionally. I have been hired to dance at the Otakon at the baltimore convention center tommorow www.otakon.com and on august 18th i will be dancing at a car show called hot import nights.

    I have taken up a side-career in acting for fun and extra income. So far, I have been on WEST WING on NBC and i have auditoned for a commercial on PBS. TOld ya I jus started :) Not much of a resume.

    I also do another weekend job called theatre open checking. THey basically pay me to watch movies. ITs so great! I earn an extra $500-$1000 a month this way, and its double that during the summer. If anyone of you need extra income I'd reccomend doing this. Its easy and fun.

    I have no beleif in God, especially the judeo-christian god anymore. But I don't beleive that when we die that's it. (I beleive in ghosts)
    I beleive in Paranormal like remote viewing and spoon bednin')

    I'm very happy, I collect toys as a hobby, and have ammased a huge collection. I collect mostly 80's transforming toys and my gf collects 80's plush and cute girl toys like rainbo brite, my little ponies, care bears, popples, wuzzles, and more.

    anyone wanna see my webpages? here ya go:

    .. http://www.designprintpromote.com

    .. http://www.msgexpo.com/flashintro.htm

    .. http://www.designprintpromote.com/lakeview

    .. http://www.lcgnet.com

    .. http://www.mycompanymarketplace.com

    .. http://www.jltcustombuilders.com

    .. http://www.villagedev.com

    .. http://www.athomecareinc.com

    .. http://www.eyeneedle.com

    .. http://www.designprintpromote.com/ace

    .. http://www.designprintpromote.com/hhw

    .. http://www.mycareerconcepts.com

    .. http://www.thesantegroup.org

    .. http://www.townplannermd.com

    god, that's all I can remember for now. Lemme know if anyone find errors on these sites Im a terrible speller and im lazy too!

    -Dan

    me using my head

  • Budda Belly
    Budda Belly

    The best thing about life after the WT is that you
    find happiness that far exceeds that found with
    Jehovah Witnesses.
    You also do the following..

    Get braces for your kid. (I needed them, but dad said,
    "the new system will provide")
    Keep your home you own. ( Mom and Dad sold in '74 )

    Make a decent living and
    enjoy the work too. ( Dad still cleans toilets for
    peanuts )

    Pursue a degree and learn
    some great stuff. ( This is something Dad should
    do. He is smart and should
    share this with others and
    perhaps learn in return )

    Laugh at the next JW at
    your door. ( Now I know why I was laughed
    at when I went door to door )

    Smoke Pot ( don't tell Dad and Mom )

    Do anything you please as
    a grown up. ( something the WT does not wany
    They prefer that every JW be
    like a helpless baby )

    Tell You Know and GodRules
    that they are bad boys for
    being here with us good folk.

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