18 YEAR OLDS (page 2)

hibiscusfire

I am comparing two 18 year old females I know

one is responsible the other thinks she is Ms. It.

one is not allowed out the house to walk her home street unless her parent is with her the other likes to party and wine in front of all the fellas

one would clean the toilet the other thinks she'll dirty her hands

They both giggle

one is very pretty and very modest the other is not really pretty but criticises other people on their looks and wear

one had a boyfriend...had because the person wanted more from her the other has a boyfriend who a total jerk

Which 18 year old would you like more?

I like the one who is more responsible

Hibe

luna2

Where are you coming from on this issue Hib? Are you a parent? Are you an older sibling? Are YOU 18?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Sometimes, Hibbi, we have to put it in writing, what is expected of them. If they don't like it, then there are certain restrictions. Thankfully, I didn't have these kinds of problems with my 18 year old. She was good for helping out. And yes, she even took to cleaning the toilet, as there are 3 boys in the house..... My boys, are kept busy with keeping their rooms clean, taking out the garbage, taking care of the family pet. They do dishes, and help out in the kitchen. they know they have chores to do before they can have fun. And I keep on top of who they are friends with, where they are, who they are with, and give them a time to be home at. I was raised the same way, and my kids don't think I'm being over-protective or overbearing. It's just "THE WAY WE DO THINGS".

We are not "rich" and can't always afford the same things as other kids have, but my kids never feel left out. My daughter is not one to be "out-doing" her friends or relatives, again, i lucked out...and although she has been buying her own clothes for a few years now, she still is a smart shopper.

delilah

Hibbie, you really can't compare 18 year olds.....each one is different and has their own set of priorities...some are naturally more responsible than others at that age. Of course, we'd all like them to be more responsible....but eventually they grow into it..............hopefully. Much of it depends on the home-life too, I think. And genes.....

delilah

As my husband says......You can do as you please, in YOUR OWN PLACE. Until then , we have rules, and you will follow them. And that goes for no pornos either, not in my house.

hibiscusfire

luna:

Where are you coming from on this issue Hib? Are you a parent? Are you an older sibling? Are YOU 18?

Inquiring minds want to know! I'm just wondering what you thought because I want to know if also culture has a lot to do with and ofcourse parents....you see there is a very pesky 18 year old who is getting me on my nerves. I'm not a parent....yet I'm not 18....over that. Is this good enough? My answers... Hibe

GentlyFeral

What do you think about an 18 year old female who says that cleaning the toilet is not her job. She will use the toilet but not clean it. The toilet is grimey all over.

And – I learn something new every day:

One of the more articulate schmoos told me that for 18 years doing nothing was good enough for her mom, her mom just did everything and still loved her, then all of a sudden, she was no longer good enough, it was very confusing and hurtful for her. She had a gentle, calm personality, so the battles weren't raging, but she was still upset, thrown off balance, a little angry and afraid because her mom just changed all the rules, overnight.

Thanks, LaCapra. I hadn't thought of this before. I unwittingly placed my daughter in this situation, but we're better now. For that matter, it was done to me, too.

Have a quiet, calm, reasonable talk with your daughter about why the rules have changed. A dialogue. That means talk goes both ways. That means feelings are respected and discussed.

And is there some other household job that you hate as much as she hates cleaning the toilet? You could offer to trade. I'd rather clean toilets than vacuum or sweep floors, for instance.

BTW, Why have you allowed the toilet to get "grimey all over"? It sounds very unsanitary to me. Are you letting power struggles take precedence over your family's health?

g ently f eral

hibiscusfire

delilah:

Sometimes, Hibbi, we have to put it in writing, what is expected of them. If they don't like it, then there are certain restrictions. Thankfully, I didn't have these kinds of problems with my 18 year old. She was good for helping out. And yes, she even took to cleaning the toilet, as there are 3 boys in the house..... My boys, are kept busy with keeping their rooms clean, taking out the garbage, taking care of the family pet. They do dishes, and help out in the kitchen. they know they have chores to do before they can have fun. And I keep on top of who they are friends with, where they are, who they are with, and give them a time to be home at. I was raised the same way, and my kids don't think I'm being over-protective or overbearing. It's just "THE WAY WE DO THINGS".

I really appreciate this. I think you're doing a fine job indeed. I like the part where you said you were raised the same way. I was too. The only thing I don't like is when you are trying to do something and people say things that make you not want to do anything at all. eg I like to cook so if I want to try something new ---- Please don't tell me what to cook.

I think I'm over protected too still....but I'm not even a teen. I work and study...so i have my freedom. I learnt to cook when I was 8. Started to help my mom make things when I was 2 (rolling out dough).

Hibe

l3gi0n

When I was 18, I didn’t know how to drive, have a car, was not allowed to have a job because it would make me to independent. I was only allowed out, to go out in service, with older woman (men have jobs, and by older I mean in there 60’s) I was not allowed to work with people my age because it would make me have thoughts of independents. As a result I am years behind others emotionally. That probably was not the best thing for me… After I got away from my parents when I was 21, I suddenly found myself in a big world, and totally clueless, and promptly found myself making all the mistakes I should have already made

18 isn’t quite a child any more, and not quite an adult. 18 is when you should be learning real responsibility (IMO) a 18 year old person need some freedom, they should be allowed to sleep in till 12, but there should be something they lose, so that they know that sleeping in until 12 is a bad thing. Unless they got home from work at 8am, having worked all night long..

18 isn’t old enough to not have rules, but if an 18year old wasn’t less rules,, then they need to pay rent…. Not 25 bucks a month.. but real rent.. like 25% of there income, before tax… it sucks, but its real life.

hibiscusfire

Gently:

BTW, Why have you allowed the toilet to get "grimey all over"? It sounds very unsanitary to me. Are you letting power struggles take precedence over your family's health?

It's not my toilet. It's gross. I also find it is unsanitary. I told her, "but how could you use a dirty toilet in the first place?" I told her about Lysol and gloves. Sometimes I really wonder how that child thinks. There are now so many new products to use that we didn't have long ago.

Hibie

18 YEAR OLDS

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