Personal Hardships and Personal Responsibility (page 2)

JW83

Exactly, Es!

I'm a good loyal friend who listens the mostest, but once you get me talking, I can be very self-obsessed!

I still haven't come up with any answers for my current problem, Eyebrow, so if you could spare a few minutes ...

ballistic

Now I just need to take some personal responsibility about how much time I spend on this web site - and get some stuff done around the house. - cya!

Eyebrow2

I still haven't come up with any answers for my current problem, Eyebrow, so if you could spare a few minutes

Absolutely...cuz I know you won't start a post two hours from now telling us all how your life sucks again and again hahah. I am thankful for the fact I have people to talk to when I have issues, and that there are online forums like this and other ones I can go to when needed.

Now I just need to take some personal responsibility about how much time I spend on this web site - and get some stuff done around the house. - cya!

I would like to take this moment to blame JWD and Simon for that fact that my house is a mess right now and I have gotten nothing done this morning....damn...oops...I wish I could use that as an excuse...I need to get off the computer and do the same thing...=)

trevor

Eyebrow2 - When will we see Eyebrow1?

Your post is thought provoking and to some just provoking. Individuals and groups in the Western world try to claim unearned benefits by claiming Victim Status. I do not mean benefits just as in money but in concessions, positive discrimination, leniency and status. This can start of in a small way and develop into an attitude that leads to a lifetime of dependency.

This immediately means that those who cannot claim to be disadvantaged have to shoulder the burden of those who do as well as their own. They are then disadvantaged. This encourages some to take the easy option and seek Victim Status for themselves rather than make the effort that is required to be self sufficient.

There are genuinely disadvantaged people who do need help and society should provide this. Those that abuse our system are the enemy of genuinely disadvantaged people.

I think it is important to develop the mental attitude where we refuse to be victims and take responsibility for ourselves. Religion causes people to rely on divine grace, reward and living in hope that God will bless them. It is the ultimate rejection of personal responsibility and a crippling form of dependency.

trevor

Eyebrow2

Eyebrow2 - When will we see Eyebrow1?

Oh I was Eyebrow when I first came here a few years ago...but I had lost all my log in info, and couldn't figure out what to do to get it...so I just created a new account called Eyebrow2. I don't use the other one...(I was preggie at the time, and out of my mind).

Good post Trevor...thank you for chiming in.

stopthepain

I have often been deppressed and whatnot.

Heres my personal beef,though.I believe in my heart alot of problems I have experienced up til about a year ago was due to my families blindly following the WT.The problem is though,they want to have a "normal " relationship with me,but refuse to admit much of it affected me.They say ,"your not in it anymore,you made your choice,now quit acting like thats why you have problems."

I guess what i'm getting at is that some problems are self induced,some aren't.When people are responsible for screwing you over,they should own up,and I own up when I create situations that cause me trouble.

I think this also stems from the thread soonyboy started.People had days to get out of NO,but chose not to.Why should they not take personal responsibility.Again,I'm sure there where some extenuating circumstances for some,but some chose not to leave.

Cygnus

Billygoat is great, always thought so, even if she only has moderate affection for me.

I've had a lot of bad shit happen to me healthwise, serious shit, that wasn't my fault at all. I've also made my share of mistakes decisionwise, so I do the best I can to correct them. Isn't that what we oughta do? People that don't, I have little use for, unless they're incapable of taking responsibility and making things right.

rebel8

Psychology categorizes people 2 ways: external locus of control and internal. Those with an internal locus believe their fate/destiny/call it what you wish is largely in their personal control. They are in the minority. The rest go through life believing they can do little to effect things that happen to them.

Here's a quiz to take to rate yourself. Interesting: http://www.psych.uncc.edu/pagoolka/LocusofControl-intro.html

I took an economics course once and the professor coined a term "episodic behavior" to describe the external locus of control people whose lives can be best described in a series of episodes rather than a guiding plan or goal. Got pregnant? Contracted HIV? Oh well, didn't do anything to prevent it. "Just happened." In our ghetto here you can see this episodic behavior. (It crosses races equally, FYI.) People were born in that neighborhood and never leave because it doesn't occur to them to get out. Life there is horrible and personally I'd rather be dead. Even if they're on subsidized housing, there is such housing available in nearby suburbs for the same price, with a much higher standard of living and MUCH safer. Yet they don't bother. (There are those who do get out, but they're in the minority.)

Billygoat

((((eyebrow))))

Good points! But you must not read all my posts, because I do have my share of whining. And if you guys don't see it here, then talk to Mozz and see what he deals with. LOL Seriously...I think all of us whine at times. I don't think it's necessarily bad either. Sometimes a good whine is needed just to feel the solace of "being heard." But at some point, a fire has to be lit and action must take the place of boo-hooing. The only time it's unhealthy is when the whining doesn't stop and the action doesn't start.

Many of my lifes "downs" have been out of my control. My abusive parents. My cocaine dealing boyfriend when I first moved out into the world. My getting laid off from several jobs where money was mismanaged. My lung surgery a few years ago. But there are other times where my "downs" have been because of ME! My getting kicked out of my parents home. My divorce. My broken heart in MANY relationships. My health issues when I don't take care of myself. There are things here that I cannot point to someone else and say, "This! It's your fault!". I can't do it. I can't play the victim role (okay maybe for a few days, but then I have to get over it) and expect to actually get anywhere positive. I have to take action for myself.

Now on another note, I MUST address depression because this is something I've struggled with many times in my life. Depression is evil. I cannot describe it any other way. It is a slow suffocation from life. But IT IS FIXABLE. Go to the doctor. Get medication. See a therapist. (I'm a big advocate of anti-depressants, but I find it only works at it's fullest potential when mixed with talk therapy.) If you don't have the money to see a doctor, get meds, and have some talk therapy, then go to a government sponsored clinic. They can do it for cheap or sometimes for free. Ask the doctor for samples of the meds before getting a full script. Ask a friend to borrow the $100 to see a doctor. If a friend of mine came to me and said, "I'm depressed, I need help, but I don't have the cash." I'd give him the money and drive the fellow to the doctor myself. If you don't have the money to go to a therapist, hit a local Al-Anon meeting. I'm serious. It's played a huge part of my mental health in my life. In those walls, I've learned what I can control and what I can't. Even though I don't have an addict in my life anymore, I still hit meetings so I can have my dose of "sanity". Sometimes I share, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I just listen and I hear someone say something that's just a total gem and I walk away being "wowed". Best of all, it's free! They ask for a $1 donation to cover coffee, electricity, etc, but even then...how can you beat $1?

Eyebrow, thank you for the reminder that we ARE in control of much that goes on in our lives. But only if we choose to see it and act upon it. I have to learn this lesson over and over in order to make it stick!

Billygoat

Billygoat is great, always thought so, even if she only has moderate affection for me.

Aww Cyggy, I've always had affection for you!

Personal Hardships and Personal Responsibility

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