What do you guys think???

by under74 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • under74
    under74

    I should give some background before the question(s) for you all....

    My older brother was born and raised a Witness. Left with the rest of us when my mom DAd herself although he was the one asking whether or not it was wise---after all the end might come. He was brought up with the whole women being inferior thing....or in the least there being whores and mothers and nothing else. He's changed some things but not everything. He's stated he doesn't think my sister should date because she has three kids although she's divorced and still in her 30s. He thinks that men are "visual creatures" and so prone to cheat and prowl although I know women aren't that much different. He even in the past few days said that some boots bought for our 7 year old neice were "too provovative" although there is nothing Brittany Spears about them....they're riding boots meant to go under jeans.

    He announced yesterday he was dating a girl aged 21. He's in his mid thirties. He got defensive from the get go saying that he knew that young women tend to date older guys and that older women look at younger guys. He said that it was fact! I know when I was 21 --though even if a guy was good looking that there was something wrong with them and never thought of dating someone over 13 years older. THIS isn't to say that a relationship with someone 13 years older can't work....

    My problem is that if it had been me or one of my sisters at 21 being involved with a guy 13 years older my brother would've have a problem with it...a serious problem with it. But it's okay when he does it. I hate the double standard he's trying to pull. I know he's got issues and it probably makes him feel good to have childin' want to date him and think he's great but come on!!!!

    Any advice on how to deal with this...approach him??? Or any dissentinting opinions are welcome as well. Am I wrong in thinking he's a messed up jerk or am I overblowing this? Let me know, PLEASE! I'm ready to go off on him.....

  • JH
    JH
    He announced yesterday he was dating a girl aged 21. He's in his mid thirties.

    When love is "mutual", why try to interfere in other people's business?

    My problem is that if it had been me or one of my sisters at 21 being involved with a guy 13 years older my brother ;would've have a problem with it...a serious problem with it.

    Well, if that was the case, I hope you would tell him to mind his own business.

  • stopthepain
    stopthepain

    This definetly seems like a double standard to me.It is sad that in society in general its ok for a guy to date a younger girl,but not visa versa.Sounds like the religion warped his views on sex,relationships,and trusting anyone.He should not tell your sister she shouldn't date.Why can't he understand that all humans,male or female have needs of every kind.It isn't all about sex all the time for everyone,although that is fun.He souns jaded toward men who aren't JW's.

    My father often said to me"aren't you glad your sisters aren't whoring around?'I say,well they should do whatever THEY want to do.Having sex with a boyfriend isn't being a whore,and even if they chose to sleep with multiple people,thats thier decision.

    He is a hypocrite with a wrong view of the world.IMHO

    STP

  • stopthepain
    stopthepain

    This definetly seems like a double standard to me.It is sad that in society in general its ok for a guy to date a younger girl,but not visa versa.Sounds like the religion warped his views on sex,relationships,and trusting anyone.He should not tell your sister she shouldn't date.Why can't he understand that all humans,male or female have needs of every kind.It isn't all about sex all the time for everyone,although that is fun.He souns jaded toward men who aren't JW's.

    My father often said to me"aren't you glad your sisters aren't whoring around?'I say,well they should do whatever THEY want to do.Having sex with a boyfriend isn't being a whore,and even if they chose to sleep with multiple people,thats thier decision.

    He is a hypocrite with a wrong view of the world.IMHO

    STP

  • JH
    JH
    This definetly seems like a double standard to me.

    This definitely seems like a double post to me

  • stopthepain
    stopthepain

    It was so resplendent I posted it twice

  • PaulJ
    PaulJ

    erm..... its none of his business!!! Im sure he has many good points but some of his thinking is very stupid.

  • under74
    under74

    I have more than once told him to mind his own business. The problem here is---if a 21 year old girl he knows is involved with a mid thirties guy...he has a problem with it but not if it invilves him. ALSO, he seems to be only comfortable with young women that are ....not only young but don't have any knowledge or experience. Also. did I mention the last long term relationship he had was with a girl who ended up taking a stipper job while they were living together?

    This has nothing to do with strippers....but my brother seems to get involved with females that have no clue as to what they want or what to do with themselves....and then has a problem when they choose the wrong thing. Not exactly mature on either part....so I can't call it love JH. Seems he's looking only at really young girls that won't be able to judge him because he's older and has a business.

    Yet...if his mother, his sisters, even his friend's sisters got involved in the relationships he's had he'd have a problem with it.

    At this point I can't call what he's got love....

  • THE GLADIATOR
    THE GLADIATOR

    Under74

    Everybody has double standards they are as desirable and good as a double edged sword, which is what I use. My motto is, “Live and let live, unless you have to kill,” which is an occupational hazard for me.

    This 21 year old girl has discovered the difference between men and boys. Maybe you should try an older man and find out what you are missing.

    Do you like Gladiators?

  • under74
    under74

    The Gladiator- you're funny but also a dumbass. As a 21 year oild girl I new the guys that were wooing me and those that were not. Those that were dicks looking for prey and those that were not.

    Thanks to evryone that's responded.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit