help! what does a jw say to the elders about DOUBTS?

by Cordelia 23 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  LittleToe

  I'll distill this for ya :

  Doubts bad, Ministry good...

  Doh!
• 

  Cordelia

  i know they would not listen to her she doesnt want them to, i know its a weird situation but shes said for ages she has questions and now they want to talk to her its like her way out (maybe)

  i thought the 607 thing etc would seal her fate (like she wants) but maybe not i dont know
• 

  ballistic

  The key here is perspective. From your friend's perspective, she still wants to "do battle" with the elders. To us old timers, the elders are neither here nor there. It took me years to understand. I wanted to send them a thankyou letter for disfellowshipping me for years until someone on this site pointed out to me that if I wanted to write them anything at all they still had a hold over me at a subconcious level.
• 

  jgnat

  Cordelia, seriously, there is no magic bullet. Ask your friend what is the MOST CRITICAL reason she can no longer be a Witness? Your friend should write that down, and be prepared to talk about THAT ONLY. A question posed sincerely, from the heart, with full ammunition behind, cannot be effectively argued by a bunch of Elders, though they may bluster or confuse.

  There is one sure way out. Doubt whether the WTBTS is the Faithful and Discreet Slave. The reason can be as simple as "lack of love". Is that the most compelling reason for your friend? Now the argument around that might be, "Draw closer, try harder." All your friend has to say is, "Nope, I've done enough. Your turn."
• 

  sunshineToo

  Hey, Cord!

  Your friend might get answers from the elders. Well, sort of answers. I'll give you an example. I asked my former elders why there were child molesters among us and kept them secret. They said that they could help me to understand why it was OK.

  Talking to elders can be like talking to a stone wall. Does your friend have her entire family in jw organization? Then I can understand how tough it is. If not, getting out is easy. Just write a DA (disassociation) letter, and start a great new life. It is much better than being a jw. But if all her family is jws, tell her if she can just "fade out" - meaning gradually be inactive and move away. She can still keep good relationship with her family and she can live a better life then being a jw.
• 

  mjarka911

  My friends and elders used the godd ole circular reasoning: "But you know this is the truth! Our beliefs and doctrines are right because god has revealed them to the FDS. We know the FDS is god channel because they are the only ones teaching these doctrines and beliefs." and of course the topper: But where else could you go? I showed them pictures of transitional fossils when the creation book said none exist. They hit me with the above reasoning. I think it just shows that no one leaves until something happens to them that causes them to shake off the fairy dust and ask real questions!
• 

  eyeslice

  You have to remember elders are trained only in the JW approach to problems, i.e. that everything can be solved by meetings, field ministry and prayer.
  Those of us who were elders know that in 'shepherding' situations it would not have been the 'done thing' to express one's own uncertainities, let alone doubts over the Bible or the Society's dogma. This would have been considered discouraging not upbuilding as shepherding is supposed to be.
  However, I now believe that there is great merit in expressing our own doubts and uncertainities. Rather than putting people off religion, such an approach helps individuals in their own private search for spirituality and inner peace.
  Eyeslice
• 

  Cordelia

  just readx more of your threads thanks i think it will help her alot

  i dont want to encourage her to get dfed coz for me it has caused my family so much pain! but she only has her dad and husband in it and alot of supportive non jw family the thing isto answer your threads (cant remember who said what) but yes she prob should put a daing letter in if thats how she feels but i think she at least wants to look like shes tried,

  im glad someone put about doubting the f and d slave i thin k thats the best thing she can do, do u think if she went with loads of questions it would not be good? i was going to arm her with a few but like someone said should she just stickj to one but REALLY stick to it?

  keep your comments coming it will help her alot x
• 

  jaredg

  TELL HER THAT THOMAS HAD DOUBTS AND JESUS DIN'T DF HIM FOR IT.
• 

  Mary

  is there any really GOOD things she can (innocently) say to really tie them in knots??

  Here's a couple of questions that should make their heads spin:

  1. If the "generation" that Jesus was referrring to, doesn't apply to the generation of 1914, then who was Jesus talking to when he said "when you see these things start to occur, lift yourself erect because your deliverance is getting near"?? Since the WT still teaches that the Last Days began in 1914, then logic follows that it would have to be that group of people who saw these things 'start to occur'.
  2. Who's been keeping tract of the 144,000 for the past 130 years?
  3. Show them the proof from the bible that the first temple of Jerusalem fell in 586/587 BCE, not 607 BCE.
  4. Ask them to show her from the bible where Jesus said you have to meet for 5 meetings a week and record how many hours you spent preaching