What does a JW have to do, to be SURE he will be saved at Armageddon?

by JH 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    well, whatever the local elders say, that's how you know. If you don't wear a tie in the United States, your whole salvation is at risk cuz the elders say you should wear a tie, otherwise you won't be given "privileges" such as holding a microphone, or running yourself into the ground dealing with convention requirements, and then Jehovah won't look kindly on youbecause the elders don't think you're good enough because you aren't wearing a tie. Everybody knows that you have to wear a tie to get privileges, which is the only way you can move up in the religion.

    However, over in the poorer countries, they'll be lucky if they come to the meetings even having clothes. If you wear a tie while you're nekkid, I am SURE you will get the most "salvation value." But God forbid that the tie be LOUD, while it rests atop your exposed penis. The ladies can come to the Kingdom HUT wearing only their skirts,with their breasts hanging out, in Africa, but GOD FORBID that their skirts don't cover their knees. Gee, the hula grass didn't grow long enough this year, so the skirts are 2 inches shorter than they were last year. You are disfellowshipped, I say. Forget about your salvation, NOW! Gee.. at least they don't have the problem of the brothers looking down their shirts! Shirts without TIES, mind you.

    Then there's always the problem of wearing pants for women... If you wear pants to the Kingdom Hall you are disrespecting God and showing him what a heathen lesbian you are. However, there is PLENTY of pants at the Kingdom Hall. And what about the guys in Scotland that wear dresses normally and as part of their culture? They'll be disfellowshipped and their salvation stripped of them because they dress like women? What about the girls over there? They are required to wear dresses/skirts. If EVERONE wears the skirts in the family, then there is no division of CHRIST/HUSBAND/WIFE. Just CHRIST/HUSBAND/HUSBAND.. and that means homosexuality. Can't have that.

    On another fine note: what about the Witnesses up in the Eskimo tribes? Are they going to ask those poor ladies to wear mid calf seal skirts igloo to igloo? Do they go door to door with a husky team? How many hours can they put in? How long can you conduct a study in those HOT SEAL SKIRTS before the igloo begins to melt? Are all of the homeownes <said in an indeterminate way> required to hold a Bible Study in their house while sitting on stumps of ice with those short seal skin skirts on? do they hold meetings in Igloos? Do they all share in the fresh seal meat, while reading from 1st Corinthians? Do they have an impressive JW library on ice?

    For what it's worth, you will only be saved in the JW's if you live in the United States, put in pioneer hours, and host the Circuit and District Overseers at your house, give them lots of money, and your husband is an elder, and that's STILL a big question. The more money you give them, the more saved you will be: i.e. Prince, George Benson, Michael Jackson, and the tennis sisters, whatever the heck their names are. You can get away with lots ofstuff if you are rich enough. We've seen it all already.. and this is the truth. Yeah.. right.

    CG

  • Aaac
    Aaac

    A JW can never be sure about being saved - as mentioned above. The nearest thing, is to give a monthly report and to be submissive.

  • Confession
    Confession

    -Attend all five weekly meetings

    -Have a "full share" in the disciple-making work. (While there is understanding given to those who may not have circumstances that allow them to put in Pioneer or Auxiliary Pioneer hours, there is constant pressure to do more. Yes, when someone finally cracks and says they can't take it anymore, elders will tell them to relax. As long as they are doing all within their ability, Jehovah will appreciate that. But the next month there will be another talk by the Service Overseer, asking publishers to "give serious consideration" to why they are not doing more...)

    "Remember we are living deep in the last days, friends. In view of that, what will YOU do with your time? Will you be watching TV? Will you be taking your ease and engaging in recreational activities? Will you be putting in overtime at work? When the time comes, will you be able to stand before Jehovah and say that you truly did all you could for Him? All of us would do well to examine our circumstances and make whatever adjustments are necessary to sign up for Auxiliary Pioneer service this March."

    -Show yourself obedient to Jehovah by being obedient to the Faithful and Discreet Slave, humbly submitting to whatever views they espouse at any given time--never questioning, never worrying that their views have often changed drastically.

    -Being regular in personal study of Watchtower Society publications: the Watchtower & Awake, Our Kingdom Ministry, weekly Bible reading, book study.

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    Let's take it from the top:

    1. Leave the JW cult

    2. Admit that they are a sinner (can't use the word imperfect here)

    3. Ask Jesus for forgiveness for their sins

    3.Believe that HE died for them personally on the cross at Calvary and arose on the 3rd day

    4. Confess with their mouth and believe in their heart that Jesus is LORD they will be saved

  • hopelesslystained
    hopelesslystained

    Nothing. The more you try to live up to the jw ideal, the more you as an individual will disappear or as in 'raised in' cases, will simply never develop as an individual. survival of the imagined coming of armageddon is nothing more than the carrot held on a stick in front of the donkey. there are better things to do, like, living life. and, god forgive, enjoying it!

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    1. Attend all meetings. Don't have to pay attention - just be there.
    2. Wear a suit and tie to Tim Hortons every Saturday at 11:00 AM.
    3. Comment at meetings. Just read from the paragraph changing only 1 or 2 words so it sounds like your own comment.
    4. Report your time™ every month. Accuracy is unimportant.
    5. Make it look like your wife knows her place.
    6. Own 2 different briefcases - 1 for meetings and 1 for service™.
    7. Shave every day.
    8. Kiss the elders asses. Learn to smile while you're doing it.
    9. Display Theocratic Library™ prominently in living room. Don't read the older stuff.
    10. Make donations monthly by cheque so the elders know how much you're giving.
    11. Display the day's text™ prominently on your kitchen table.
    12. Drive a 4 door sedan or a minivan.
    13. Own at least 4 different coloured suits and 16 ties.
    14. Lie about good field service™ experiences so others will be in awe of you.
    15. Join the Theocratic Ministry School™.
    16. Dark rimmed glasses are good. Metal rims are not. And lose the tinted lenses.
    17. If you don't wear glasses, get some anyway. They make you look studious.
    18. Beat your children in the Kingdom Hall bathroom. Make sure they cry.
    19. Say "Jehovah" instead of "Jehover" so you're not mistaken for an apostate.
    20. Wear shoes with tassels.
    21. Don't get an education. Remain ignorant.
    22. Talk down to publishers™ who don't have titles.
    23. Clean windows or toilets for a living.
    24. Get your Kindom Ministry™ laminated. It shows you value spiritual things™.
    25. Unibrows will not inheirit the kingdom. Make sure you pluck them.

    W

  • free2beme
    free2beme

    Fake your life

  • eyeslice
    eyeslice

    To add to Blondie's comments. The Questions from Readers Aug 1 2005 again addresses the question of 'probably' at Zephaniah 2:3. Quote:

    Preservation will depend on an individual's continuing to seek meekness and righteouness

    Eyeslice

  • heathen
    heathen

    LMAO@FinallyFree --- For Gods sakes never disagree with anything in print .

  • TheOldHippie
    TheOldHippie

    Believe wholeheartedly in Jesus Christ and His Father, God.

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