The Secret of Sunchild

by Darkchilde 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Darkchilde
    Darkchilde

    Yes, it's me, "Sunchild." I apologize for posting something so self-indulgent and mostly off-topic, but I sense that I've confused a few people here lately. Maybe this will clear things up... or just raise more questions.

    I know that I'm not quite as old as some other people who post here. Because I'm young and seem fairly trusting, some here tend to assume that I'm naive and/or that I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to my dealings with certain people. In light of that, I think it's finally time to tell everyone the truth. Yes, I really am Rochelle, a 25-year-old ex-JW who lives in Ypsilanti. I really do post under the monicker of Sunchild almost all the time, and I do try very hard to be the kind of person I would like to be. But that doesn't mean I've always been this way, or even that that's quite who I am.

    Without going into too much dull detail, no one -- NO ONE -- here has ever seen my bad side, and I don't like to show it or even think of it too much. That side of me is nasty, vicious, jealous, angry, suspicious and spiteful, and also exceptionally frail. That side of me is, above all else, terrified of being hurt or being worthless; it's the side that always begs, "Pay attention to me!" while insisting at the same time I keep people at a distance, since they'll only hurt me if they get too close. I've learned to control it, though, so that it rarely shows in its most virulent form, and I've learned to channel that passion into dark and decadent stories, and into fictional characters who are deliciously manipulative and cruel. And if you don't believe that sweet, innocent little Rochelle could write such things, just ask and I'll give you the URL.

    The point of all this is that people are often more than what they seem to be. Because of what I truly am -- an angry, frightened, needy person who learned to put it to good use -- I've learned to recognize certain things in other people. Things that remind me of myself. You see, if you had met me, say, about four or five years ago, you would have written ME off, too. That's why, if I sense a core of goodness in a person (especially online since I have much less to lose), that's what I'll focus on the most. I just want to grant others the chance that I once longed to have granted to me. "But what if you end up wasting your efforts?" Yes, that could happen. But what have I really lost? I get to feel good for having done what I believe to be the right thing, and if that person wastes his chance, I never even have to acknowledge his existence again. That's the beauty of the Internet: you can get close and still keep your distance.

    All the best to all,

    *Rochelle.

    "If you have a quality, you should be proud of it. Let it define you, whatever it is."
    -- Hellraiser 3.

  • claudia
    claudia

    Rochelle, i still think youre pretty cool. Your post reminded me to read some of your work, I bookmarked it a while back.

  • larc
    larc

    Rochelle,

    I think it took a lot of courage to reveal so much about your inner life. I don't think I have the courage to do the same. Suffice it to say, that I think all of us have inner fears, hatreds, and evil thoughts that we wouldn't want others to know about.

    I hope you can find good friends where you can loose the reserve and the fear of full involvement. At the age of 25, I had the same kind of shield around me that you are describing. It took a long time to disolve.

    After talking to you and with what you have descibed here, I can see that you have used your quiet reserve as a barrier. I used to use my more noisy sarcasm for the same purpose.

    When it is all said and done, it is harder to criticize someone when we know their story, and I think that was your main point, here and on the other thread.

  • BoozeRunner
    BoozeRunner

    Hi Rocelle,

    Thanx for reminding us that we ALL have weakenesses. I truly believe that no matter how much we mature, and deal with adversity in our lives, there always seems to be a fatal flaw which we will likely battle for most of our adult lives.

    That side of me is, above all else, terrified of being hurt or being worthless;

    Not unlike most of us

    But what have I really lost? I get to feel good for having done what I believe to be the right thing,.....

    Thats important, to do what you believe is right, especially in this context, where you are attempting to help another.

    Your signature-

    "If you have a quality, you should be proud of it. Let it define you, whatever it is."

    -reminds me of one of my favorite sayings:
    To thine own self be true.

    Boozy

  • eeyore
    eeyore
    That side of me is nasty, vicious, jealous, angry, suspicious and spiteful, and also exceptionally frail. That side of me is, above all else, terrified of being hurt or being worthless; it's the side that always begs, "Pay attention to me!" while insisting at the same time I keep people at a distance, since they'll only hurt me if they get too close.

    Your bad side is me?

    logical

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Rochelle,
    How wonderfully put!! And I think it so aptly strikes a chord in all of us if we are honest with ourselves.
    Ex-JW's seem to be extra needy in a million different ways. Because not only is there the base problem but the issues that have been created in our minds i.e. to feel less, that truly affects our ability to grow, mature, and reach!
    Cheers to you, for sharing this innermost emotion, and allowing all of us to reflect on the similiarities.
    If you feel so inclined, please send me your URL.
    TW

  • soylibre
    soylibre

    Rochelle, I think you have just described 95% of the human population, I've always said, we're all just damaged goods from the beginning. The challenge is to find what is salvageable in ourselves and make it work....take care...Kim

  • teejay
    teejay

    Darkchilde,

    What can I say? Simply marvelous. You're quite a lady.

  • Darkchilde
    Darkchilde

    Claudia,

    Rochelle, i still think youre pretty cool. Your post reminded me to read some of your work, I bookmarked it a while back.


    Well, I'm glad that I'm forgiven for being less than perfect. *g* As for my work.... I don't keep the good stuff on Dreamsphere.net. I can point you to it if you like, but you'd better be prepared for a shock.

    *Rochelle.

  • Darkchilde
    Darkchilde

    larc,

    When it is all said and done, it is harder to criticize someone when we know their story, and I think that was your main point, here and on the other thread.


    Yes, that's basically it. I'm glad it came across. As for the rest... I don't know if I'll ever change much, or how much I really want to. Sometimes, being an outsider comes in very handy.

    Boozerunner, thank YOU. I'm always glad when something I say is meaningful to someone else.

    Thinkers Wife, I'll e-mail it to you as soon as I can. As I said before, though, you'll probably be pretty shocked. And thank you, too.

    Logical, you sound like you need a hug. {{Logical}}

    Soylibre, you take care, too. Thank you.

    And Teejay....

    Thanks again to everyone. I must say I'm relieved that you've all been so supportive.

    *Rochelle.

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