To my dear XXXXX Hello there-How are things going with you? I've been thinking of you a lot, I've wanted to write you this for quite some time. I guess we both know that things aren't the way they used to be-between you and I; between you and Jehovah's organization-and I just want you to know how much I miss you. At the circuit assembly I was thinking how I wished things were the way they used to be.I sat behind your parents one day of the assembly and I wished you and XXXXX were sitting there next to them. I remember one of the last circuit assemblies you were at you came over right after the session and talked with me and it made me feel so good. I remember when XXXX and I first were separated and we started e-mailing I was so happy, I thought of all the fun we would be able to have together, keeping in touch so often. I miss you when I go to the meeting in XXXX and you aren't there. ! ; I remember all the fun times we had when we were younger, how I'd come and stay at your house, we'd get ready for meeting together Sunday morning. Jehovah has given all of us free will as to how we will live our lives and you told me that you have come to some decisions in your mind that have caused you to pull away from the congregation. I'm sure you realize how that affects the rest of your life, and the rest of the lives of all those who love you-your family, your friends, the ones who miss you now. The choices you are making are decisions that only you can make for yourself. You know me well enough that I would never want to say anything to hurt you, but I am worried about you. I really do miss you!! Every day is one day closer to the end of this system, the times are so urgent, o how I wish you'd put your trust once again into the organization, true, it is thru imperfect men that things are organized but Jehovah has provided so much evidence proving that he is backing this arrangement. I just want you to know that I will always be here for you if you decide that you want to support His organization again. But I realize that is a decision that only you can make. Basically XXXX, I just want you to know that people love you, miss you, and wish you'd come back to the congregation. Please remember I'm thinking of you often, Love, XXXXX
I received an E-mail from an old friend....how do I respond?
by schne_belly 42 Replies latest jw experiences
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Chia
Ahh...the guilt trip. I love it. I would curse 'em out, but that's just me. That would only serve to fuel the "angry apostate" label that they give you. That whole e-mail is basically saying it's all your fault. You allowed your faith to become weak. Never mind all the lies we've been fed. If you had just shut your eyes and ears to the truth and listened to the WT fairy tale, everyone would be happy right now. GRRRR.
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talesin
You could write back and tell them you miss them, too. How about we get together for coffee, as there is so little time at the KH to really chat, anyway. After all, we have been friends so long, let's catch up!
tal
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jeeprube
It's the old conditional love guilt trip.
I'd ask your "friend" if their "love" is so strong, then why must an organization be present? True love is unconditional, is it not?
I would point out that you don't believe him/her. That you feel this love they speak of is false. The love Jesus had was very different from the love held out by the organization. Jesus associated with tax collectors and harlots. JW's judge their own children as unfit. Ask him/her about that.
I'd also address the "proof" they held out about the organization being supported by Jehovah. There is too much evidence to the contrary. The 607 B.C. issue is a great place to start.
Of course if you are trying not to be labeled and totaly cast out, you can't say any of this stuff. You'll have to bite your tounge and act like you appreciate their concern. That alone should prove how patheticly controlled the JW's are.
Good luck to you! Let us know how it goes.
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Billygoat
I'd say be very careful responding. I've received letters like this and I haven't answered them at all. I didn't because when I read over their letters, it was purely emotional and about them. There wasn't ONE question about how I was doing. I realized that if they were true friends, they'd be concerned about my well-being. They would go straight for the guilt trip.
*shrug* I've learned the hard way who are my true friends and who aren't. Unfortunately, not ONE of them was a JW.
I realize you probably miss them too, but only you can take care of yourself. Only you can decided what that means.
((((hugs))))
Andi
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Chia
when I read over their letters, it was purely emotional and about them. There wasn't ONE question about how I was doing. I realized that if they were true friends, they'd be concerned about my well-being. They would go straight for the guilt trip.
Exactly. And when you look at that letter, your friend never asked how are you are doing. They said they've been thinking of you a lot, but then went on to tell you how difficult it is for them now that you left. And the reason they don't ask how you're doing is because they're afraid you'll say, "Wonderful!" And then they don't have anything to stand on.
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schne_belly
Our friendship will eventually come to a complete hault if I don't "dance her dance". This may just be a waste of time....
I have question about her comment " I will always be here for you if you decide you want to support HIS organization again". So does that mean she won't be there for me otherwise? Hummmmm....
I was thinking I would say something like this atleast, just to help her see the treatment we are receiving from others.
Your E-mail was especially touching, since XXXX and I have stopped going to meetings, we have really gotten to see who my true friends are and I'm happy to say you have proved to be one of them. Few have really bothered to ask us WHY we aren't going and what the situation is. Maybe they don't care?! I'm not sure. It seems that they have just assumed we have turned away from Jehovah, are bad people and ignore us. It's painful to see some from the hall at the grocery store or around town and have them look straight at you and turn around, like you are a stranger. I'm not making this up. I know what things may appear like, but we are counseled to not gossip and I can only think that is the reason why these certain ones have discontinued our relationship since I have not spoken to them at all about my reasons for not going to meetings.
I'm not asking for everyone to counsel or ask me about my choices in life, and I actually choose not to talk about it with people, even when I have the chance. However from what we have experienced, many that we once thought were friends are only "conditional friends". How loving is that?
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schne_belly
Of course would that be giving her too much credit?
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blondie
schne, all I can say is answering anything directly at this time would be pointless. They see the serious, spiritual errors and think that God accepts the WTS but is going to destroy all other religions for doing the same things.
I wish you'd put your trust once again into the organization
Aren't Christians supposed to be putting their trust in God and Jesus? Didn't the Jews make the mistake of trusting in an earthly group of humans?
Just say you are making sure of the more important things by using the Bible. If what the WTS is teaching is from the Bible, there is nothing to fear.
Sounds like they ascribe to the doctrine that only JWs will survive Armageddon.
From the www.jw-media.org site.
Do you believe that you are the only ones who will be saved?
No. Many millions who have lived in centuries past and who were not Jehovah's Witnesses will come back in a resurrection and have an opportunity for life. Many now living may yet take a stand for truth and righteousness before God's time of judgment, and they will gain salvation. Moreover, Jesus said that we should not be judging one another. Humans look at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart. He sees accurately and judges mercifully. God has committed judgment into Jesus' hands, not ours.—Matthew 7:1-5; John 5:22, 27.
The real answer.
w89 9/1 p. 19 Remaining Organized for Survival Into the Millennium ***
Only Jehovah’s Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the "great crowd," as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil.
Love, Blondie
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schne_belly
I'd say be very careful responding. I've received letters like this and I haven't answered them at all. I didn't because when I read over their letters, it was purely emotional and about them. There wasn't ONE question about how I was doing. I realized that if they were true friends, they'd be concerned about my well-being. They would go straight for the guilt trip.
Billy Goat: in the past with others who have written me, I too, have just ignored thier letters. However I feel that this certian individual is genuine ( mabye wishful thinking on my part). You are right, it is mainly about THEM.
It's hard to know how much you can really say and how truthful you can be. I don't know who to trust anymore ( I guess really no JW) .... but for some reason I feel I need to set things straight.....