My sister and cousin both have 1 year old children, and are both devoted JWs. I would like to help the children grow up to be normal, balanced people, but as the crazy uncle don't think I will have any say. I am afraid that if I ever even raise religion with them I will be cut off from seeing them.
I shudder to think of them growing up as JW's. I imagine them being forced to go door to door as teenagers in 2020 still saying Jesus started ruling in 1914, the generation is up and the end will come soon. How embarassing and pointless.
Is it my responsibilty to highlight the falsehood of JWism, or should I allow their parents complete freedom to brainwash their children as we were all brainwashed?
How much control can I have over nephews and nieces?
by jwfacts 13 Replies latest jw experiences
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jwfacts
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Scully
Why not just try loving them unconditionally? By modelling that behaviour for them, it will make it difficult for them to shun you. If you are always tolerant and respectful toward them, they won't be pressured by their parents to regard you with suspicion. If you always welcome them with open arms and an open heart, they will know that they can talk to you any time they want about anything at all.
They will learn that they can trust you with their doubts, and that you will be there to help them when they need it.
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Soledad
Scully gave you very good advice.
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jwfacts
Thanks Scully, that sounds very sensible.
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DannyHaszard
Dedicated to my family members , nieces and nephew Lauren, Ashley and Kevin Haszard that have gone missing in the Jehovah's Witnesses.
NO CONTROL-I haven't seen or heard from my clan for 15 years i don't know who is dead or alive,lead a horse to water...
YES CONTROL-I can exact retribution and make the WT family wreckers squirm.
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Billygoat
jwfacts,
Why not just try loving them unconditionally? By modelling that behaviour for them, it will make it difficult for them to shun you. If you are always tolerant and respectful toward them, they won't be pressured by their parents to regard you with suspicion. If you always welcome them with open arms and an open heart, they will know that they can talk to you any time they want about anything at all.
This is exactly what my "worldly" family did. They knew they'd be cut off from us kids if they ever "taught" us our parents religion was wrong. And it's true...my dad did cut off my grandmother for a long while when I was a child. I had to sneak to the park on my bicycle just to see her. My uncle and aunt never took the hard-line stance like Gramma, so they were never cut off. In fact, my parents pretty much let me do whatever with them. It was pretty awesome! Today, I'm 34 years old and closer to my uncle and aunt that my own parents. My uncle gave me away at my wedding three years ago.
I say follow Scully's advice. It might serve them better in the long run, even if you don't see the effects immediately.
Andi
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jgnat
Uncles and Aunties have the greatest job, they get to be good examples! As long as you don't try and take over the parenting role, you will be fine. At this age, always have candy or McDonald's toys in your pockets. As the children get older, take them out to do fun stuff. When they are with you, they don't have to wear suit and tie.
When they are old enough to "know it all", don't challenge them directly, just snort, look sideways and say, "really"? If they express fear that they will lose you in Armageddon, confidently reassure them that you will ALWAYS be around for them. Chances are, they'll privately take another look at their treasured beliefs.
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Carol
Touche' Scully.....you nailed it! Excellent advice.
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kid-A
Im in the same situation.....but since my siblings are'nt gung-ho dubs, I figure that my nieces and nephews will someday view me as the 'cool' uncle who gets to do all the fun stuff and who isnt constantly judging them or filling their heads with wacko religious ideas....I hope my example of free thinking and open-mindedness will rub off on them by osmosis and maybe someday......they too will slip away quietly just like me!!
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DanTheMan
I'm in a similar situation with my 15 year-old nephew who has been getting a heavy-handed Pentecostal religious indoctrination for the past several years via his dad and stepmom, which to our (me, my sister, her husband) heartbreak he seems to be taking to. Any attempts to get him to reason about the religion result in complete silence and indifference, he has made it very obvious to us that he is unwilling at this time to entertain any criticism of his faith.
So, I'd also recommend Scully's advice - there's really no need to go there with them. I never bring up the religion with my nephew any more except sometimes I try to inject things into our conversations that are very indirect, things that I hope might get him to think a little, but he is a smart kid so I have to be very subtle. Our relationship is good and I feel like he cuts loose a little with me in ways that his church might frown upon. I can only hope that he never goes psycho-religious and cuts us off completely but I am somewhat mentally prepared for that being a possible eventuality of the situation. My sister is not handling the situation well though, emotionally speaking. It's very sad.