It was the issue that I had to come to terms with during 2 1/2 years of psychotherapy.
Thank God for adequately trained mental health proffessionals who can assist people mentally abused by a bunch of window washers and janitors.
by Cognitive_Dissident 36 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
It was the issue that I had to come to terms with during 2 1/2 years of psychotherapy.
Thank God for adequately trained mental health proffessionals who can assist people mentally abused by a bunch of window washers and janitors.
I always thought that I'd be the first one that Almighty God would come to collect. With my perpetual fleshly desires, I would be the first one to be anihillated. I was sure to be executed for not keeping myself pure and chaste in my being single.
" why is that brother always staring at me? "
I never prayed for anyone's destruction in a personal way. I didn't say "heavenly father, please expedite your day of judgement so I can rid myself of so-and-so and live in peace." no way. What I found out about myself after I left was just how haughty and judgemental I was as a witness. I didn't see people as human beings, with real lives real problems and issues and feelings. As a witness I assumed that they invited the problems into their lives by not being a JW!
One of the things that really started to bother me my last couple of years in da troof was how many JW's anticipate that they too will be counted among the post-Armageddon bird feed corpses.
There was a time when I would relish in the body count of a particullarly troubling news item. I would always associate their dying because of their never having come to be known by Jehovah. The worldly were automatically deemed evil and unworthy. They got what they deserved as far as I was concerned. They shouldn't have been dealing drugs, that hooker shouldn't have been prostituting herself on the corner at 3AM. I was one of the most pre-eminent judgemental @$$holes I had come to know.
Even when I very deeply believed that all non JWs would be destroyed during the big A, I could not believe that my grandmother would be destroyed. She wanted to have nothing to do with the JWs, never wanted to listen to what they had to say. But she was the most kind and caring person I have ever come across. She lived to serve her God in her Catholic church, she went to church every day. She cared for her fallen apart family in a very loving way and treated every person, family or not, as a friend. She was always overworked and under appreciated but I never heard her complaining once. She lived to help other people, even when she knew that they'd never do anything for her in return. She didn't have much money at all, actually, she was poor, but she shared what she had, and when someone needed financial help, she'd give her last cent. No, I could not believe that a loving God would destroy a person like her. No way.
Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts.
I know that once I finally realized that I had been wrong, as in completely judgmentmal, hypocritical, arrogant and self-righteous, life became so much more meaningful. Because I don't have all the answers that I used to think I had, things are much less black and white, and I know I'm a more compassionate person than I used to be. That, and ironically, I'm more amazed by life and all of it's complexities now than I ever was as a Witness.
I didn't pray for that coz I knew I was going to be the first on the hit list
Well said Honesty!!!
Dismembered
My Mother was making comments about "those poor people" after some tradgedy on TV and when I said that what was happening was exactly what "your god is surely planning to do anyway" it did make her stop and think.
If JWs were honest then they would admit that the suffering shown in TV is small-scale compared to the suffering that they pray for and hope that their god that they worship will dish out.
And at the end of it they have gaul to claim that their god loves mankind? At best he's a psychopth ... certainly not worthy of praise or worship when he has no more compassion than us lowly humans do.