Panicattack Update on my wife and family situation(thanks for helping guys)

PaNiCAtTaCk

This is an update for any who have kept up with some of my former posts and have taken time out of their lives to give me advice on dealing with situations like having a wife who still believes and a child starting kindergarden. These situations can quickly turn into a life crisis when a person doesnt know the proper way to deal with these things or know where to turn for help. I am indebted to the internet and also websites like this for helping me to break free. I want to think everyone who ever responded with advice when I was in a panic state. For those that have never seen any of my former posts feel free to search my former topics. Since myself and others have found Ithinkisee's updates very encouraging I felt it would be appropriate for me to also post a short update on my situation. Initially my wife would cry when I would try to talk to her about the society. She was very scared for me and for us as a family. It was obvious to her that I was lost or blinded by Satan. One of the big things that really got me researching the society was the whole 607 issue. When I first understood how wrong we were on this date i could not keep this information inside. I would ramble on during dinner and while driving in the car and pretty much when ever I had a listening ear, including visits with my work mates on those long graveyards. The same work mates who i had witnessed to so many times :) It wasnt until recently though that I had realized a seed of doubt had already been planted in her a couple of years earlier from a show she watched on dateline about the child molestation policies and silentlambs. From what I understand this show actually followed a molester in service or conducting service? Anyway this particular show in which i still havent seen really bothered her. But like a good witness she pushed these doubts into the back of her mind until they were brought out later. I had talked so much about 1914 that around 3 months ago when the public speaker on Sunday made the comment that "If you are a visitor to the Hall today and you dont understand why 1914 is the most important date for us, just ask any Jehovahs sitting here today" At this point my wife realized that after all these years she had know way of explaining 1914 in detail to anyone who asked. This speaker made such a big deal about 1914 over and over again in the talk that she started to recall several things I had said. It made me feel good to have her ask me later to really explain to her where the society was wrong. When a witness actually sets down and commits to listening and actually LISTENS. There is no going back! After she started listening and reading for herself then the meetings started becoming hard to set through without thinking critical. Like so many of us here, the more she read for herself and actually considered both sides of the issue instead of soley the Watchtowers, the more she saw major doubts. At this same time my wife and I were getting our son ready to start his first year of kindergarden. We decided that after considering lots of advice on this forum and doing alot of thinking FOR OURSELVES that we didnt want our child starting school being the odd kid. We knew as a family that we had to many issues with the society to ever be zealous again as a witness. We also knew that we could never teach our kid anything about 1914 or the importance of it and we knew that after the Godly Obedience assembly that we could never encourage our son to regular pioneer and bypass further education for the society, NOT JEHOVAH. In fact by the time the Godly Obed. assembly came around and we were actually setting there at the assembly my wife was having a hard time keeping snide comments to herself about the garbage she was hearing from the platform and the bad advice they were giving. We left at noon on Sunday and spent the rest of the day at the lake enjoying our family and the new freedom that was soon to come for our family. (Keep in mind there were good things brought out at the assembly. Its just that the importance was on Organizational obedience and giving up your life for the Org.) By this time my wife had read many quotes from years past and she could see the vicious cycle the society was stuck in. After listening to experience after experience of kids dropping out of College that were going into there 4th year and experiences of people giving up there good paying jobs to be poor and preach the societies propaganda before the end comes, my wife knew for sure that she was done. Of course, all of these doubts also brought up the child molestation issues that she had suppressed for so long. These issues never bothered me but apparantly the show she watched made it quite an issue for her when realizing the problems that the society had really created with there policies. Anyways here is where we currently are as a family. Our son is a happy normal kid at school and really loves it. The other day he brought home a picture of a Turkey and a flag that he colored at school but it didnt even bother us. Once you step out of the societies control for a short time the rules and regulations that they invent which at one time were such huge issues, become tiny and ridiculous for the most part. My wife is currently reading CoC and enjoying it very much then she will read In search of christian freedom. I just added two steve hassan books to the list Ive read and she is looking forward to also reading at least one of these. "combatting cult mind control" in which I enjoyed very much. It focuses on many cults and there are so many parallels between the witnesses and the moonies ect. it will blow your mind. Everyone who leaves any Cult all go's through the same issues and feeling of "I have just left the truth and im going to be destroyed". We have lost many friends even though no action has been taken against us. Only a small handfull of our friends 4 or 5 have even spoke to us or invited us to make sundays meeting. Most have spoken to us once and then weve never heard from them again. I know 2 weeks ago our cong had the C.O. visit and nobody even came by! I knew the C.O. would be out to get me back to cong but he didnt even call or stop by. It was just months ago I was literature servant and well liked. Its amazing how conditional the love of the cong really is! My wifes family is an hour away and she has yet to talk to them and still dreading it. My parents just said that "they would always love me no matter what and that they had alot of respect for me as a good person." So basically, i was very happy with what they said and took it as probably better than what it could have been considering some of the others experiences on this board. My wife doesnt feel that her family will be as accepting, although she does have two worldly brothers that already know our new stand and they are very happy. We are getting closer as a family and we have more time to do things together. Weve been camping 3 times in the last month when before I would have been counseled on to much recreation and not taking responsibilities serious enough as they are from Jehovah. Ive gotten better at Golf and have actually placed in 3 local tournaments :) Other things will come up I know, and as they do I will make decisions based on my conscience and my own sence of right and wrong. The new freedom my family has is so wonderful and I know things will only get easier from here on out as the cult mind control continues to break from us and our thinking. Someone in a cult or cult environment never realizes he or she is in one until they break free and allow themselves to think free from the control. Then later after much study, it becomes obvious. We still believe in God and I Do need to read the bible more with my family (i am still not perfect). Since our leaving I have had many invite us to their church but at this time I dont see myself ever attending a formal place of worship. There are still things about other religions I dont think I could ever accept, but I will not write it off completely because I have the freedom to go if I want :) I still would like to think there is not a burning Hell, although I am slowly accepting the idea that there may not be two classes.(other sheep, little flock). Honestly, my wife and I dont feel that we have to have an answer to every question that is not black or white in the bible anymore. I am content to think that Jehovah is not so shallow that he would destroy me for not following some small off shoot group that has had numerous false prophecies in the last 120 plus years.

Things have worked out great for me and my family and if you are struggling with a BELIEVING mate dont give up! They may be having doubts deep down but they are just to scared to act upon them. Sometimes a simple talk at the kingdom hall can make them realize they are not a true believer. Also I recommend you read everything that you can get your hands on. Reading everything and considering both sides of issues is not being blinded by Satan, its normal and its called educating yourself! I just ordered Gentile times reconsidered and I cant wait to read it! Also since I walked away I have stopped the psychologist visits and also the anxiety meds the doctors had me on :) You would be suprised to know how much stress is on you as a witness and you not even no it! Its hard to see that all the meetings and the rigorous schedule is causing major stress when you are told over and over again that your are "the happiest people on the planet!" Thanks again to everyone that has given me advice on different things I was facing. My experience and ithinkisee's experience probably wouldnt have been possible without approaching our spouses with an organized loving plan of attack that wouldnt totally scare them off for good. If you just get your spouse thinking, the truth about the truth will eventually bring them out. We are just a couple of examples out of many that are leaving or having doubts RIGHT NOW! Thanks again everyone!

BrendaCloutier

(((( Pan )))) I was here when you showed up in a PanicAttack. I've had the privledge of watching you calm down, relax, and work thru the process. What a beautiful person you are! And now your wife is with you.

You, ITIS, Almost Athiest, Kwintestal, all departed with core family's intact. I am so proud of you all and so grateful to see the incredible changes take place.

THANK YOU!

and Pssst: Pass It On!

Hugs and Love

Brenda

carla

Thank you for the update! I'm so glad you and your family are happy and are dealing with all of this. Gives the rest of us hope. All the best to you and yours, carla

amen

Hi Pat!

I am very happy to hear good news like that. I left more than 2 years ago. I appreciate the freedom i have not being scared by any man made religion, they have no power over me....I am free.

Life is better that way. I am still a believer as i always have been.

Yes the truth has set me free.

Amen

mrsjones5

That was so great I could cry

I am so happy for you and your wife.

God Bless

Josie

kwintestal

That's great Panicattack! Enjoy your freedom! I'm so happy your family it together, out of the org.

Our little guy started his first year of school this year too! He's absolutely loving it! It's tough watching them go that first day, but he gives me a big heartfelt hug as soon as school is done, and that makes up for the day he's away.

Kwin

TheListener

Congratulations Panic. I remember your first post.

I'll say to you what I said to Ithinisee:

I'm very happy for you but I'm jealous; very very very jealous - you magnificent bastard.

By the way, magnificent bastard is my new title for anyone who gets their mate to leave while I'm still in dub-limbo.

gaybeat

Cool, you got your wife to read CoC, i haven't read it yet. I'd have to sneak it in the house.

Soledad

I remember your earlier posts Panicattack.

I am so delighted by this news. It's so wonderful to see families leaving the WT and sticking together.

Believe me, your child will thank you forever for not making him the odd kid at school. You saved him from years and years of pain and isolation. For that I congratulate you.

jgnat

What an encouraging story, PanicAttack! I'm sharing it with all the "Unbelieving Mates" (UBM's)/"Parters of Witnesses (POW's) out there. Some of my favorite bits (my commentary in italics):

When a witness actually sets down and commits to listening and actually LISTENS. There is no going back!

I think you are on to something there. I think this can explain the almost overnight transition for some partners. For honest seekers after truth, how can an exposed lie get covered over again without making severe compromises to their soul?

We still believe in God and I Do need to read the bible more with my family (i am still not perfect).

Thank you for proving the Watchtower wrong yet again.

Honestly, my wife and I dont feel that we have to have an answer to every question that is not black or white in the bible anymore. I am content to think that Jehovah is not so shallow that he would destroy me for not following some small off shoot group that has had numerous false prophecies in the last 120 plus years.

Contentment in uncertainty. We don't need all the answers to have a fulfilled life. What a concept!

Reading everything and considering both sides of issues is not being blinded by Satan, its normal and its called educating yourself!

I bet you're not nearly so jumpy now that you stopped looking for demons behind every corner.

Also since I walked away I have stopped the psychologist visits and also the anxiety meds the doctors had me on :) You would be suprised to know how much stress is on you as a witness and you not even know it!

Yes, I have observed that as well. There are lots of allergies and other immune-disorder ailments at our hall. I wouldn't wonder that they were stress induced. The proof is in the pudding. Bravo, congratulations, and give your wife a big hug and a kiss for me tonight.

Panicattack Update on my wife and family situation(thanks for helping guys)

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