Explain monogamy to me (page 2)

anewme

I was out of the org and wild when I met my present man. He is a viking child of the Norseman clans.
He is not a spiritual man. He saw me and wanted me. I am now his.
He says he would not share me with any man. Told me all men are beasts.
Told me also he is not interested in any other woman.
He works hard to keep me satsified and feel wanted and desired.
The way he behaves and the things he says....I believe him.
I dare not give this man any cause for jealousy!
Unlike my first husband, this man is not one to toy with.
It monogamy for me now for sure!

I am grateful for his strong feelings for me and his protectiveness of me.
He is tender and lenient in so many ways, but as for sexually, I may not go to others.
He put a huge gold celtic wedding ring on me (you can see it by satellite) and he wears the same.
I have a great physical thing going with this man. And I respect him very much.

(But I come here for spiritual discussion with you all. I do not share this stuff with him.
Arguing over old scriptures makes him crazy!)
At least I've got him to agree a wise, intelligent and caring being must have made my two beautiful...................

Anewme

avishai

We have been conditioned to think this is normal, and history has selectively omitted the fine times we had when we were polygamous. I personally would shudder at the thought of having for than one wife, imagine the earache after coming in from a hard days graft and theres more than one wife jabbering on about how crap a day shes's had looking after your multiple wives kids.....

Amen to that!!!

Plus PMS tends to synchronize.....

Soledad

Plus PMS tends to synchronize.....

ROFL! That is so true!

rebel8

I have no desire to be with anyone other than my spouse, and I most certainly would never be able to cope seeing him "with" others. It would break my heart. I do recognize there are other lifestyles that work better for others, though. Joel, have you ever read anything about the Oneida community? Google that, if you can't find it, try adding Noyes to your search. It was a commune with partner sharing that failed, but is the subject of much interest and study in the field of sociology. It's not too far from where I live. Many people don't know who their bio dads were, so there are many people with a claim to the remaining property......which is shared from what I understand. To this day people with that last name are looked down a little for being descendents of the commune dwellers. Not passing judgement myself...just mentioning it in case you want some interesting reading.

Joel Wideman

Monogamy is like having a favorite shirt. It's familiar and comfortable, if a bit out of fashion.

joelbear

i guess i have such a different mind set. to me its the more the merrier, i mean within reason, but a totally interactive sharing world fascinates me.

a set of people that identify as individuals but are able to allow their individualities to flow freely through one another.

Cygnus

Like communism, it looks good on paper, but in practice it just doesn't work.

joelbear

but why

Abaddon

The 'why' is that we evolved that way.

We have medium sized balls, unlike gorillas, who have an exclusive harem and small balls, unlike chimps who have gang bangs and have massive balls. It indicates our natural sexual behaviour is between the two; we don't need to pump out massive quantities of sperm to overwhelm other male's sperm, but cannot rely upon (or 'want') exclusivity either. Please excuse me if the following is a bit antropomorphic, I assume eveyone will get I'm not implying Homo erectus sat down and thought this through. Lord knows any male with an erection is incapable of thought.... whether they are Homo or not We are biochemically set up to fall in love, let alone enculturated to do so. The biochemical bonds remain strong enough most of the time for a child to be partially capable of fending for themselves (in hunter-gathered societies at 4 a child can gather 30% or more of their requirements). If there was sufficient cause to leave at that point, it was not a disaster for the female. Nothing stopped practical reasons (and 'I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with' is a practical reason, unlike 'I can't stop thinking about them'; which is our biochemistry talking) for keeping a couple together longer.

However, both males and females have indications within their sexual biology that although they might have a diad relationship, they both kept their eyes and legs open for genetic diversity. That way they can get the net benefits of not putting all their genetic eggs in one basket AND the benefits of a relationship which offer enhanced survivability.

Triads, quads, and other polyamourous relationships are normally a little tricky, and having played around with a triad, I know a little about it.

If the partners of a diad are okay with it, there's no problem with it being sexually open, but most people have a problem if people want to play house as well as hide-the-saucege with someone else.

Essentially Joel, it depends on whether sexual variety is the key thing for you (no problem if it is), in which case polyamoury is indicated, or whether it is the atmospere of an extended family/communal living set up that is the key thing for you, with the sex side of it not being the reason for it. If that's the case, look for a commune or 'make' an extended 'family'.

It's no suprising thing if it is the latter. We evolved in tight communities and extended family groups, of course it feels right.

Mulan

Monogamy is the best way, in my opinion. Of course I have been married forever (almost 43 years), and my marriage works. If you were in a bad marriage or relationship, I can't imagine the hell of it.

For bearing and raising children, it's the best way to raise emotionally healthy people. This is just my opinion because I see it working in my home, and in my children's homes.

Monogamy keeps you safe from STD's. (something I never give a thought to and never have)

I would not want to share any part of my life with my husband, with another woman, or couples. My parents lived with us for years, and it wasn't fun much of the time. It had it's good times for sure though. Privacy is almost impossible, just to chat or have friends over.

My brother in law and his wife bought a big house on a farm with another couple they were close friends with many years ago. All were JW's. It was fun for them at first but after a few months, or a year, the friendship deteriorated and they sold the place and dissolved that idea. Of course they didn't share mates, just expenses and work. It should have worked, but it just didn't.

Explain monogamy to me

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