MY PLAN FOR LEAVING THE WT. IS IT 2 FAR-FETCHED?

stillAwitness

I plan on exiting out quietly out of "the truth." I mean, I got school and becoming financially secure first before I just jump the gun. Is that smart? Because someitmes I get in a huge argument with my mother b/c I only go out in service (or at least she thinks I do) on saturdays and I have not selected one day out of the week to go out. (one of the new rules of the WT) and she had came to my meeting on sunday with me (she is in the french hall, me in english) and saw that my WT was not prepared (I would of made it look like it was but she had tagged along with me last minute ) I try to avoid hearing my parents mouth about my "spiritual duties" But sometimes I wanna just explode!! I wanna just pack up my stuff and leave. But where would I go right? How do I deal with it? I am pretty good at living "the double life" but sometimes I have anxiety attacks over it. I get paranoid someone is gonna catch me doing somethin and I get D'F or somethin. I give myself a year. Either my modleing career will have me financial enough that I can leave and have me mooning the elders when they try to show me that I am damned at armageddon, or I wil meet someone who I don't wanna lose to the WT or I will end up jumping off a bridge. How do I avoid the latter? So this is the plan I am going for:

1. I become financially stable in whatever that may be. Move out on my own.

2.Then I become inactive for awhile NOT D'F that way I will still have my family

3. Get married of course ( they won''t D'F me right for marrying out of the Lord?) That way I will still have my family at the wedding though my dad may not come. I don't have an JW friends so I won't feel sad about that.

4. 6 months later get back into meetings and stuff from time to time. Just enough to get my "privileges back" and still have my mom and dad for whenever I need them and my kids will have their grandparents around when I need a nap. I mean eventually they will get used to the fact that my husband is "wordly" and then they will start cheerfully counseling me on that "let him be won without a word" crap. And they lived happily ever after. Is that a fairy tale ending?

skinnyboy

IMHO, get out and stay out. Why put yourself throught the mill for what amounts to a Rich mans Publishing Club! Its hard to focus now on whats right becuase your still in it, but leave, you will thank yourself in 10 years time when you have kids of your own and they lead a normal life, untainted by the foul teachings of the Dubz. Think of it that way and have faith in your own abilities.

rebel8

I vote for staying in and playing the game till you're done with college. I say that because of my own experience being dirt poor and kicked out of parents' home. Took me a really really long time to save up the $ to go to college and even then it was a really bad experience financially. I made sacrifices to go to college that most people wouldn't. If you want to hear the long horror story PM me. But anyways, because of my personal experience, if I had the choice to stay home and go to college or leave and fend for myself, I'd definitely stay. JMHO

czarofmischief

If you marry out of the "Truth" for the purposes of getting out of the truth, you will not be honest with anyone - your partner, yourself, and your parents.

So you will have many problems:

1) your relationship will be strained because you will keep walking in and out of the Lie. This is the worst problem. Just to avoid stress for yourself, you will put your whole relationship in jeopardy? Not a good idea.

2) You yourself will not be happy. You will keep jerking yourself around and not living your life the way YOU want, but living a fake life to please your parents. Such a lie will eat away until it either comes out in the open, OR insidiously becomes the truth for you.

3) Your parents might be happier with this, but they will not ever truly be happy with you marrying out of the truth. They will spedn their time trying to convert the unlucky fellow you marry, making him feel guilty for Christmas, etc. IT's ridiculous, and a tad selfish to want to put him through that just to avoid emotional trauma for yourself (trauma that will catch up to you sooner or later, I assure you).

My advice is either to just do it, DA yourself, and bank on your family coming around (mine did) and in the meantime build a real life with real friends. OR you can smile through college years, get a job, and THEN do it. But until your family and most importantly, your future spouse know what you want and why, they can neither help you get it, nor can they get out of the way.

Just my advice. Throw it away if it displeases.

CZAR

Elsewhere

I plan on exiting out quietly out of "the truth." I mean, I got school and becoming financially secure first before I just jump the gun.

That is what I did. Once I was financially independent and making a comfortable living I jumped ship.

There is an old saying: Whoever pays the bills makes the rules.

I wanted to make sure my parents could in no way impose JW rules on me. My dad is a classic Elder Control Freak and not being able to control me drove him absolutely nuts.

diamondblue1974

MY PLAN FOR LEAVING THE WT. IS IT 2 FAR-FETCHED

Your own plan for leaving is entirely personal; many of us here have made our exits in so many different ways, Little Toe did it on the platform in a talk...which was very public but people like you or I may choose to fade away with a lower profile... it depends on what your circumstances are but as long as you are true to yourself then nobody can criticise you.

If you need any help both myself and anyone else on this board will no doubt try...its what we are here for.

DB74

stillAwitness

I get it. I guess you get so used to all the lying and living the "double life" that you grow numb. That would be unfair to my mate. and myself. so much for my half of the wedding getting paid.

Cordelia

you sound like my brother now, my mum is so upset at me being dfed that she goes on at him so much hes sick of hearing 'if you dont study u die!'

thing ive learned since being dfed 6 months ago is u have to get free yourself (ive still not quite managed it see my recent reinstatement thread) but being dfed is hard losing your family is horriable, dont get dfed if u can help it just fade, but my plan is too stay dfed marry when my divorce is thru and go back then, but you know what are parents ever happy unless we are a model witness? can we evr really win? do whats best for you, have you a boyfriend at the moment?

good luck x

Joel Wideman

My mother kicked me out of the house without a dime in my pocket. It ended up being the best thing she ever did for me.

Carmel

In the "for what it's worth" column, I left home before my 15th birthday without a dime to my name. Found part time work and finished high school then went on to university working nights, weekends, etc. Married half way through school and kept on keepin on and never regretted any of it, especially the leaving the Borg part.

If you are determined you can make it though it may take a little longer than staying home and suffering the barage of guilt thrown at you.

I wish you the best.

carmel

MY PLAN FOR LEAVING THE WT. IS IT 2 FAR-FETCHED?

Share this