oHi, short introduction (page 2)

Gretchen956

Welcome Sugarcane! I'm of German ancestry, thats the best I can do! I only know of one poster from Germany but I don't know everyone by any means. We're from all over the globe, though.

Look forward to hearing your story!

Sherry

Welcome, Sugarcane. When I saw your name, I was hoping that you were from hurricane ravaged southern Louisiana where they grow lots of sugarcane. And you were going to tell us how you were stumbled by the selfishness of the JWs in only helping their own and only the "strong" ones at that.

I'm sure your story will be a lot more interesting.

poppers

Well jus set yoahself down 'suga' an stay ah while (in my northern wisconsin version of a fake southern drawl). Come on you southerners, show her how it's really done.

Ellie

Hello and welcome Sugarcane.

vitty

Hi and welcome,, look forward to reading your story

anewme

Hi Sugar Cane!

GetBusyLiving

Welcome Sugarcane - way to exit!

GBL

Sugarcane

Hi again and thank you for the welcome!

Ok, here goes:

I was raised a JW with my sibblings in the UK. When I was 15 years old (just turned 15 years), I was raped by a stranger. The police were involved and I had to give a photo-fit of the offender. At the time, I was living with my mother and the police contacted her. She told them to contact my father who came to the police station. His first words were "look what you've done to me now"! Til this day, I don't know what he meant. Anyway, I later got a visit from an elder who asked me what happened, which I then explained as best as I could. He then took out the bible and showed me an example of someone who 'prevented themselves from being raped, and asked if I had screamed and how loud? Can't remember what I said, but the next thing I knew was, I had to go to a meeting with my mother and 3 elders were present, asking more questions and speaking amongst themselves. It was only later on in my life that I realised that this was a 'Judicial Committee'.

I left the 'Truth' at the age of 17 years, and then returned at the age of 21 years with my baby daughter. I got married in the 'Truth' with a so-called brother which was the worse thing I could have ever done. My life was completely hell throughout that terrible marriage - I now have a son and am divorced. Oh, did I mention that when I was raped may father also called me at my mother's house and said "what will your brothers think of you now?"

Anyway, I became inactive when the divorce became difficult to manage and guess what, none of those JWs except for one good friend supported me. I stayed away and things started improving because I just concerntrated on myself and my kids. I had a spout of unemployment which meant that I was living on a very, very low income. Things got better when I found a job and just started living a normal life outside the 'Borg'. When my X got remarried a cheeky elder called me on the phone and asked "if I have kept myself clean?" I couldn't believe the cheek of it. I said to him, if my X has done something wrong, go to him and sort it out, we are divorced and what he does is nothing to do with me. In the Borg, someone has to take the blame and they/he was looking to 'scapegoat' me for his so-called wrong doing. Well guess what, 5 months after he got married, she had a baby, not premature but full term (do the math). I wonder how they dealt with that one??

To cut a long story short, most of my family are in the Borg and my father is especially fanatically. He doesn't know that I've recently disassociated myself, but I think it really makes no difference, because they behave as if I always have been simply because I became inactive. He'd rather help strangers from 'door to door' or 'brothers and sisters' than his own children who are not JWs. A few months ago I travelled from Switzerland, drove 200 miles from London to his home to speak to him. He knew I was coming and had JW visitors over. Instead of staying for a drink at the hotel where we met, he and his wife were in a hurry to get back to those JW visitors. Well, what can I say? I was angry with him because he hadn't seen me and my kids for 2 years and yet, these JWs which are local people in his congregation, were more important.

I was adviced by a psychologist to do my own research into JWs because I told her what happened to me when I was 15 years old. I was astonished to find so many articles, research and books on the the Borg and particularly the life story of 'Diane Wilson' and Raymond Franz, Crisis of the Conscience. The Borg forbids people to read opposing articles over them and I really adhered to this even though I'd been inactive for 4 years. But the psychologist recommended it plus she'd done some research and told me what she found - similiar stories to mine!

You could have knocked me over with a feather!! I decided that I didn't want anything more to do with that organisation, so I disassociated myself. This was the only way to stop them from contacting me and opening up old wounds. I'm now at a stage of recovery, because I have to address the things that happened to me whilst in there (too long to write in one post).

Well, that's it for now. Btw, I'm not German, I'm from the UK but live in Switzerland. I just wanted to know if there are any meet-ups or boards in German, because I wonder how ex-witnesses in other countries cope if they don't speak English. There must be support boards out there in foreign languages?? And.........sugarcane is a hint to my origins, can anyone guess?

Ich spreche und schreibe Deutsch, nicht fliessend, aber gut genug!

Love to hear from you guys out there.

Sugarcane nice 'n' Sweet

Joel Wideman

Welcome, Sugarcane. Your story was very moving. I'm sure the next chapter of your life will be happier.

oHi, short introduction

Cellist