Yeah FHN, thanks for your coments - there is always fear though, fear of "will I regret it if I don't..."
Marriage and Age
by pratt1 31 Replies latest jw friends
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thom
I'm 40 and dating a 24 year old. Seems that I'm the one that sometimes has issues with the age difference, doesn't seem that she does at all.
Any issues we have usually have much more to do with her being raised on a farm and me always living a mostly city life. That's caused more strain than age. -
FlyingHighNow
Ballistic, things will work out for you eventually. I hope you find your soul mate and that you and she will be very happy. And if kids are in the cards, I hope you will have wonderful success as a father.
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horrible life
My husband is 17 years older than me. We have been married for 20 years. We have a 14 year old daughter. When he asked me to marry him, I agreed, with the stipulation that I wanted 1 child, and I would decide when the time was right. He agreed.
When it comes to SEX, he pooped out 4 years ago, at the age of 58. I had just turned 41, and as you may have heard people say, at my sexual peak!!! I get pissed off sometimes. But I still love him. But 4 years this Christmas, is a longgggggg time. I try to keep my sense of humor.
I agree Terry. My husband has changed me through the years, but lately I see things a little differently. I feel that I am growing up, and he is just growing old. HLI'm 16 years older than my wife.
Living with a contemporary would certainly bring more affinity to our values and sense of cultural ethos. We are soooooo different!
T.
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Finally-Free
I don't see how age makes a difference. Many marriages fail whether the spouses are close in age or far apart. That being the case, always look for a young, HOT partner.
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Big Dog
Speaking just from what I have seen, I agree that when both are relatively young and healthy its not such a big deal, but at the far end it becomes a huge issue I think. My mother in law is 60, her husband is 80, and not a healthy 80 where as she is a vigourous 60. It is very difficult for them now, she is raring to go and he is nearly wheelchair bound and not very healthy or energetic at all.
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FlyingHighNow
It is very difficult for them now, she is raring to go and he is nearly wheelchair bound and not very healthy or energetic at all.
The question here is whether she is in love with him or is she in love what he can do for her. My dad is much older than his wife. He is 75. She still loves him and only grieves losing him. She doesn't begrudge his old age.
One reason I haven't married Andy is worrying about me reaching those golden years more quickly than him. He says he will consider them to my vinatage years and that it would completely break his heart to ever see me in a nursing home. He vows that will never happen. -
Big Dog
FHN, she still loves him, there is no question about that, but the realities of the situation are not pleasant either. She has become a nuresmaid to him and he despises that much more than she does. They can no longer enjoy each other as they used to or do things together like they used to, true that can happen to any couple due to an accident etc. but statistically its not as likely as old age to come into play.
I think there is a lot to be said for growing old together rather than one after the other.
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FlyingHighNow
I think there is a lot to be said for growing old together rather than one after the other.
I always keep this in mind. But.....enjoyment life is in how you look at it. You have to bloom where you are planted and make the best of everything it hands you. To spend too much time bemoaning the problems is to let life pass you by. In this case it might be letting love, true love pass you by. Looking for the silver lining in any cloud is the way I look at life. When you love someone, yes it might be hard to change their diapers, but when my grandmother, who was eleven years younger than my grandfather did it, she never complained. She did it lovingly because my grandfather was still the love of her life.
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Big Dog
FHN, I agree, its a decision each person has to make for themselves weighing the possible benefits against the possible problems. I guess I just come from the school of thought of there are enough problems that crop up in life even with the best planning that I am not going to add anything to that mix, but then when possible "true love" comes into play, that can change everything. So many unknowns when trying to make decisions in life.