Elders = Amateur Lawyers | Case Study Marriage Separation - Society scolded

by confusedjw 27 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    From reading CoC it would seem that there's an "oral law" in the form of letters from the Service Dept to various elderss and publishers regarding specific questions; advice and direction that would never be printed in their publications for the masses to see. This information often contradicts the society's current position or doctrine with a kind of "wink,wink" or "it's up to the individual's conscience" carte blanche.
    My guess on the reason for this is that they don't want masses of people thinking for themselves "on the basis of conscience." In this case, a lot of separations without the elders' interference would quite possibly ensue. So, in practice, they allow the elders great power and influence unless someone writes the Society and then their main focus is covering their legal butts!
    tp

  • Apostanator
    Apostanator

    Geez confused jw, now I know why you picked your name! It is hard to keep up with all their crazy rules. Just when you think you've got it, they blindside you from left field. I still don't understand. I've got a jw brother who is married but for the last 10 years he has been living in Massachusetts and his wife has been living in Rhode Island. He still wears his wedding ring but they are never together. Go figure. Perhaps the new system will change his living arrangement.

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    Apostanator,
    That story sounds familiar. I know a former elder and his wife who've been separated (living apart) for about 6 years now and although their local congregations know about the separation, they "play house" for everyone else, especially non-dub family. So when they visit this couple, they see the "perfectly happy jw marriage." Talk about dysfunctional!

  • luna2
    luna2
    Apostinator said: He still wears his wedding ring but they are never together. Go figure. Perhaps the new system will change his living arrangement.

    This makes me wonder what they are hoping for from the "New System"? If you are married to someone in this system who you can't stand, aren't you doomed to be with them forever...assuming you both live thru Armeggedon? Maybe that's their hope, that one or both of them will die first.

  • kls
    kls
    I believe I am feeling the effects of elder control at the moment so if any of you still got any prayers in you, I could sure use em'.

    Carla , use every means at your disposable to fight like hell ,i don't care how dirty it is . Remember you are fighting a cult with many on his side and they will minipulate him to their advantage. Niceness does not always work and can be turned into you being used .

    Believe me you know i know(((((((((((hugs ))))))))))))

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    This is yet another example of people, meaning the society and the elders, sticking their unqualified noses where they have no business. If people are having marital problems they should always be referred to trained, certified professionals for counselling.

    They can make the decision as to if a marriage stays together or not and yet make it seem the jw is really making the 'godly' decision.

    I can testify to truthfulness of this. It was the elders that decided that the differences between my wife and I were irreconcilable because I posed a "spiritual danger". They advised her to lock me out of my own home. On their instructions she refused to even speak to me unless an elder was present. If it were not for the elders interference we may have been able to resolve our differences.

    W

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    obviously they made their conclusions on the basis of the letter she sent to them which would have been her version of the events....she may have been 100 % correct aswell..but did they make any attempt to get the husbands version...sounds not..which would explain why my jc didnt either

    proverbs 18 : 13

    When anyone is replying to a matter before he hears [it], that is foolishness on his part and a humiliation.

    proverbs 25 : 8

    Do not go forth to conduct a legal case hastily, that it may not be a question of what you will do in the culmination of it when your fellowman now humiliates you

    the fact is they do not anticipate any repercussions to affect them so they feel free to say what they want without fear of accountability

  • confusedjw
    confusedjw

    Finally-Free said:

    marital problems they should always be referred to trained, certified professionals for counselling.

    What do you mean! I was fully qualified having read many articles in the Awake on Penquins, Parrots, Snakes, Caves, Rodents , Moths...

    It really is sad isn't it.

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    I wonder if the WTS is starting to tell elders to stay out of matters regarding the question of whether a person should get divorced or not. I'm sure it has cause problems where in court the JW says that they got divorced because the elders "told" them to, or that they refuse to get divorced because the elders "told" them not to.

  • FairMind
    FairMind
    What do you think they were thinking? Why the more liberal / sympathetic / uncharacteristic position?

    Covering thier fannies. If this had turned into a legal matter with complaint against them, they could produce a copy of their letter to the BOE and pass the blame back to them. This matter of speaking out of both sides of their mouths is one of the reasons I lost respect for them as leaders.

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