It's not often talked about but in my experience a lot of witnesses have sex (or something like it) during their courtship. And most of them never go to the elders about it.
Recent case in point: My dear friend got married this past summer. I had recommended the brother that gave their marriage talk. A few weeks after the wedding, my friend and I got together for coffee. He thanked me for referring the brother to give their wedding talk and then said with a wink and a smile, "I was so glad he didn't ask about our courtship. Phew!"
I've heard other witnesses make similar comments. Some who've even lied to the brother marrying them. And honestly, I don't care one way or the other. I just find it so interesting that these "devoted" witnesses don't even adhere to their own standards and structures.
By the way, this dear friend of mine refused to talk to me once I let him know I was disassociating. His wife had one final msn conversation with me and implied that he was very angry about my decision and I would likely never hear from him again. Nice.
tp
Do Must Dubs Have Pre-Marital Sex?
by tall penguin 64 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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tall penguin
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Legolas
Oh so he can commit fornication, which if it was the 'truth' he would probably not make it into the 'new system', And yet he won't talk to you for leaving the "Lie"?
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Finally-Free
I can't speak for others, but I didn't have sex with my ex until a day or two after the wedding, then sporadically for the next 5 years, and nothing for the next 11.
It's a good thing I had a life before I was a JW because I haven't had one since.
W
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Ms. Whip
Yes.
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tall penguin
legolas,
Ya, the double standard craziness makes my head spin.
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hillbilly
Dont ask , dont tell
~Hill
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blondie
Some law enforcement officers I worked with said it wasn't a crime unless you got caught.
Some JWs reason that way, it isn't a sin unless you get caught by humans, God doesn't count.
Blondie
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OldSoul
Nope. No sex before marriage for me. And it hasn't been sporadic since, either. I lucked out. I married a beautiful woman I love intensely who loves me intensely and really enjoys having sex...a lot. 8 years now and I still Energizer (energize her)
But I think that part of it has to do with keeping interest alive. We don't have JW sex, by any means.
TMI?
OldSoul
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littlerockguy
When I was an active JW I didn't have premarital sex at any time; I guess I was one of the actual few who lived by their standards even though I wasn't as "spiritual" as some as I couldn't put as many FS hours in as some of the pioneers and ministerial servants who were partying and giving Sunday morning public talks with hangovers.
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thom
The first time I had sex was 2 days after I got married. I was 25. I always wondered before that if I'd "remain faithful" to what I believed. Well when a situation did arise, I did remain faithful. I was in a heavy "make out" session and it was going further than that and I stopped it.
Now that I'm divorced, sex is part of my current relationship. But that's because we're serious in our relationship. I still feel that sex would only be a part of a serious relationship to me, but I no longer feel I need to hold out until marriage.
That's just my opionion and guideline for ME. What others do I don't feel is any of my business. I don't judge others on their decisions and appreciate not being judged either.