Elder not calling us "brother or sister" at the book study

by JH 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  ackack

  This was a huge point of controversy with my PO. I enjoyed using first names, but it was strongly discouraged. (Even a local needs about it I think) Then me and him disagreed about who could be called a brother or not. I argued that any unbaptz pub could be addressed as Bro or Sis. He argued only baptized members could be. I dunno, I liked inclusiveness.

  Technically, if you're not going to call them Brother or Sister, you're supposed to say Mr or Mrs (or Ms). The argument in the KM went something like this:
  If that person's unbelieving husband/wife came, how would they feel about you gettin' all familiar with their spouse by calling them by their first name?

  But I never saw this done. They were always called by their first names or their full names.

  ackack
• 

  JH

  At the book study, the elder would say to me "Johnny would you read verses 1 to 5" and I am baptized.

  Even for the prayer, the elder would say, " Johnny would you finish off with the prayer"...
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  Elsewhere

  This is a common practice that goes all the way up to the Service Department. If you write a letter and they do not recognize you as a JW they will respond with the salutation of Mr. or Mrs.. If they recognize you as a person who is JW they will reply with the salutation of Brother or Sister.

  Basically you can tell if you will be destroyed at Armageddon by writing them a letter and checking to see which salutation they use. You could also go to a KH meeting and observe how the conductor addresses you. If you don't get a Brother or Sister, then you are bird food!
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  Elsewhere

  [ Duplicate Post ]
  
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  Bstndance

  I look back and HATE how at my Kingdom Hall wedding after the ceremony the elder said " I would like to present to you "Brother and Sister XXXX" We had a few "worldy" people at the wedding, I'm sure they were lost......

  Unless it was a wedding in West Virginia. J/K!

  IIRC, we used first names if you didn't take the plunge and titles if you did. I always hated when they called on me for prayer. UUgghhh!
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  inbyathread

  When I am required to speak with the Elders in my Hall, I use their first name. So far no negative comments because of it. Some start out with Brother **** but the rest use my first name. They may consider me a brother but they're not brothers to me.
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  Soledad

  I liked it when the elders would call us by our first names. I thought that using "Sister Soledad" sounded so trite and fake. I also thought it was great because the people visiting wouldn't feel so left out if we used first names instead of "brother" or "sister."
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  fairchild

  You could also go to a KH meeting and observe how the conductor addresses you. If you don't get a Brother or Sister, then you are bird food!

  Ouch, I guess there was still hope for me after all. Dang, if only I had known that.

  I was never baptized, but I remember when I started going to the book study many years ago, the conductor almost immediately called me "sister (last name)". The same was done at the KH during the watchtower study, although there it often depended on who was conducting the study and it took a few months to get a "sister" out of them.
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  Cygnus

  In my experience, pre-1990 at the book study sometimes familiar baptized people would get called their first names. This promoted a family atmosphere. Then, as others have said, COs and KMs put their foot down and said everyone had to be called brother or sister. I always felt bad for the unbaptized 'studies' who would comment and get called by their first names -- adults in their 40s, 50s and even 60s! How embarrassing when everyone else was addressed by their surnames.

  I recall in the mid90s an older sister complaining to an elder, "Even in casual conversation, what's wrong with calling someone their first name?" And the elder said, "Wouldn't it be nice if we all addressed each other as brother and sister?" In other words -- DO WHAT WE SAY, BITCH!

  How pathetic. I'm 33 and all the adults I know that were adults when I was a kid I address by their first names and they love it. I hate such rules.

  Edited to add: Also this business of calling God by his name - I think there's plenty of precedent in the Bible to do so. Just 'cause Jesus didn't or it goes against one's cultural taste doesn't mean it's wrong for Christians to do so. The Bible does say literally "I am Jehovah your God" not "I am the LORD your God."
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  buffalosrfree

  I have from day one as a witness perferred not to be called Brother. I had told elders and others alike, my mother didn't have you, therefore you are not my brother. In fact when called called by brother, I refused to even acknowledge them, this got to be a little embarassing at the book study, as when asked brother so and so would you please say the closing prayer and I would sit there as not acknowledge their request, and if they Mentioned my name instead I would tell them no thanks. I don't want to say a prayer you must be looking for someone else.

  I also refused to acknowledge younger children calling me by my first name or by brother, i thought younger children should not be so familiar but should show some respect for ones older and I mean a lot older than them, having a young elementary aged person calling you by your first name is showing no manners. i refused to partake of their nonsense and would refuse to acknowledge them or their parents. They soon learned to call me as i wanted to be called not what an organization wanted me called.