Does it bother you to realize that life is normal for those left behind?

free2beme

You know when you leave a religion or a place you worked at for a long time. You want to feel that perhaps there will be a missing irreplaceable piece, that represents the effort you put into the work. You know what I talking about, the comment at work of "this place would be lost without me" or in the religion "I am the main person who encourages field service around here." Yet the slap in the face is that within days, weeks or months. However long it takes you to realize it. You will soon realize that life is normal for those left behind and very little was cause by your exit, within a short time, you will be a faded memory or forgotten for your efforts all together. That is not something people accept well. Some try to make problems where they left, to cause what they expected to happen, when it did not. Others make up stories to those willing to listen, that make it sound like things occurred that really never took place, for pride. More often then not, it leads some to depression. While others just accept it and move on. So I wonder ...

AK - Jeff

We all like to think we make up an artery, when we are prob just the smallest capillary, if that!

As far as the witness religion is concerned - the love there is absolutely conditional - I know they don't miss me - they barely knew I was there anyway. I was literally just a number. I imagine more mourning is done over the loss of numbers than the loss of people.

Jeff

LittleToe

The reality of life is that no-one is irreplacable, perhaps especially so here in cyber-space.

I remain,

LittleToe...

Soledad

No, actually I expect life to be normal for the ones still trapped in that cult. They just don't get it.

After every district convention, my mom always calls me and says "sister so and so asked about you" or "brother so and so wants your telephone number." These people who ask for me are the same ones who have the wickedest kids or relatives I have ever known! One year I got fed up and I told my mother "tell sister so and so to stop worrying about me and to worry more about her daughter dealing drugs out of her apartment!" That stopped my mother's calls cold turkey.

Gopher

life is normal for those left behind and very little was cause by your exit, within a short time, you will be a faded memory or forgotten for your efforts all together.

Life changes, and no job or situation lasts forever. People die or move on. Even if someone has been employed for a long time by the same firm, there are reasons the situation changes. People leave for better opportunities. Or the employer for some reason has to let someone go. No use continuing to relive the past -- why not focus on creating opportunities for the future?

Life continually presents us with new circumstances. We have to embrace change or make changes to make our circumstances better. In the words of Bob Dylan, "Those who aren't busy being born are busy dying."

thom

Like in the previous post, I'm more irritated with the people that "worry" about me. I find that so demeaning. No matter what I could say, to them it's just sad that I failed to live up to what "I know is right". Basically it's just treating me as if I'm stupid and weak.
I was thinking the other day if I could remember EVER, as a JW, hearing talk about someone who left and the reason being what the person claimed. In my memory, it was that they were weak, bad, wanted to be bad, someone pulled them away, or something like that. Never have I ever heard it acknowledged that they could have left for any other reason.

free2beme

perhaps especially so here in cyber-space

So true, I have seen people leave message boards and make comments along that idea and come crawling back in later when they realized life goes on without them.

tetrapod.sapien

it may bother them that i am living well!

but seriously, i doubt it. and it doesn't bother me. i knew how it would be before i DA'd myself. all i had to do was put myself in their shoes for a moment. they are socially programmed to forget about stuff that may distract them from the org, and so i knew i would be but a shadow of a memory in no time.

it's not them i care about anymore. i care about me. it's been a long time since i cared about me, so i am playing a little catch-up now.

ts

GetBusyLiving

I don't care what any of them think of me anymore. If they miss me.. if they don't.. there's no point caring. This might sounds kinda harsh.. but as far as I'm concerned until they want to start talking facts and using logic they are as good as dead to me.

Having said that though I did notice while I was still bogged down in the Borg that people didn't talk much about people who left other than the usual bashing session post DF or DA announcement. I think that if they dwell on it they have to subconciously admit that shunning isnt too "Christian".

GBL

GoingGoingGone

I have had 2 very good friends leave the WT. One left her husband for another man... broke up 2 marriages... and the couples were really good friends, of us and of each other. But we loved this girl, and even though this was about 14 years ago, we still miss her and talk about her. My other friend DA'd about 3 years ago. It was really sudden, none of us had a clue. Her best friend is still so emotional about it, she'll start crying if we even mention the DA'd friend's name.

I know that there are some in the borg who form lifelong friendships, based on all the things friendships should be based on. I have some really really good friends. The longer I am away from meetings, the less contact they have. I think that they are limiting contact with me for many of the same reasons that I am limiting contact with them: because when the final break comes, it's too painful to have been best of friends, sharing every thought and emotion, and then have it suddenly cut off.

Stupid cult.

GGG

Does it bother you to realize that life is normal for those left behind?

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