Do you think 13 is too young to...

by alreadygone 19 Replies latest social family

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  defd

  YES 13 is too YOUNG to allow her to go with boys..................................You are just asking for trouble or a baby.........
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  under74

  The Beaver went to dances at that age too and that was the 50s. You're doing something very right with your daughter in that she's calling you to tell you what's going on...also, that something so innocent is so exciting. It's very sweet.

  Trust me--when I was 13 my family was still in the Org but I was hanging out with girls who were pregnant at 12 and some of them were Witness girls. And I never told my mom what was happening with me or any of the kids I knew. She was one of the enemies.
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  sf

  Haha, try to relax. My daughter is nearly fourteen and she has been to a few dances. As far as with a specific boy, no. She goes with her girlfriends then see's who will ask her to dance. But she doesn't get all giddy about boys. GOOD GIRL...MOMMA TAUGHT HER WELL! LOL! Okay, I digress.

  Definetely meet the boy AND his parents. If either kid has a cellphone, get his number and get his parents numbers...both cell and landline. I sometimes even ask for email address in case they are omn dialup and on their computer. Make sure your daughters cell is fully charged and instruct her to never turn it off for any reason. And to always answer it in a timely manner. Tell her you won't tolerate having to leave a voice message.

  Whoever picks her up, whether it's the parents or his older sibling, GET THE LICENSE PLATE NUMBER.

  And I'm sure you have told her this already: Trust is the worst thing you can break between us. It is like a fragile vase that, when one tries to piece it back together, realizes it will be very difficult, if not impossible. Trust and respect of that trust IS the bond between us. I tell my daughter that it is partly her responsibility to respect that trust and not to break it. If she feels, at any time, she may be in a position that it may crack (the vase), to think it through and recall exactly what respecting our bond will mean in either consequences or rewards.

  Let her go but take all the preventative measures and give her firm guidelines.

  They/ we are/ were only kids once. These days in THEIR eyes and mind, is very important in many ways as far as self esteem goes.

  Good luck!

  sKally
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  Billygoat

  I don't think she's too young. I think too many Witness kids didn't get the socialization necessary as children and teenagers that helps us make smart decisions as adults. I realize Witness parents are trying to protect their children by preventing them from doing everything, but they don't realize it does more harm than good. If my parents had allowed me to experience relationships with the opposite sex when I was at home and under supervision, then I wouldn't have made the dumb decisions that I made when I was living on my own.
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  Andrea Wideman

  Not at all. Both of my kids went to dances at 11 years old. Sometimes they went with somebody and other times alone. It is good for them to experience social interaction. Joel and I talked to them about what is age appropriate behavior and we also had THE TALK with them. We told them that they could come to us and talk about anything at anytime. Growing up is tough enough without feeling you can't talk to your parents about what is going on in your life.
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  rebel8

  IMHO no it's not too young to go to a dance with a boy. If we were talking about getting into serious relationships or sex, it is too young for that. Just be sure to give her the Richie/Joanie Cunningham dating speech.......both feet on the floor at all times, no open-mouthed kissing, knees together, etc.
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  alreadygone

  Thanks for putting my mind at ease. We have had THE TALK several times so I feel comfortable that she knows what to and not to do. Rebel8, I like the Happy Days reference, I'll have to integrate that into the next TALK.

  K
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  outnfree

  Don't sweat it, alreadygone. If you're not chaperoning, who is? Teachers? Any parents you and your child know?

  My children, who went to parochial school, went to school dances beginning in grade 7, which would be around 13 years old. I was a Witness mom and their dad is Catholic. They could only attend on condition that I would be one of the chaperones. I, too, had a camera handy, so I could cruise the parish hall from time to time under pretence (sp?) of snapping photos of my kids and their friends (which I did -- but the camera was a good prop for snooping as well). The only dance I did NOT chaperone was the final Graduation Dance. By then, both they and I had confidence they would behave appropriately while having a Last Blast with their grammar school friends.

  outnfree
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  poppers

  Defd said, "YES 13 is too YOUNG to allow her to go with boys..................................You are just asking for trouble or a baby........."
  
  If you had read the post carefully, it said she was meeting him at the dance - your paranoia is showing. At 13 lots of changes are naturally unfolding, one of which is breaking out of old roles and expanding one's social environment, all part of growing up. A properly chaperoned dance is ideal for that.
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  mrsjones5

  to go to a chaperoned dance? nope I dont think she's too young. hope she has a great time