Lots of reasons. We gravitate toward talking about the things we like to do. I do this and then put on the brakes because I don't want to be thought of as being any more unspiritual than people already think I am. Also, many of us have busy lives and need to get to other things rather than waste time talking to someone who could care less anyhow.
Why is it so hard to have meaningful conversation at the Kingdom Hall?
by truthseeker 32 Replies latest jw friends
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zagor
Why is it so hard to have meaningful conversation at the Kingdom Hall?
Because there's no meaning, people go there to be seen and counted as "spiritual" not to engage in converstation on any level that's beyond "Praise the Watchtower"
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lawrence
Because most of the people are uptight, bound, and need a bowel movement - a real good one!
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coffee_black
Everyone is on guard... you have to be so careful about the words you choose...because you are always being judged. You can't be yourself. I noticed that few jws have close friends...someone you could really open up to and share your deepest thoughts. No one seems to let anyone that close.... the friendships are pretty superficial. After all, how can you share your feelings with someone who might report you to the elders?
Coffee
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luna2
It was more like small talk (severly restricted small talk) you might make at a very boring cocktail party....mostly just gushing social chit chat. I mean, its not like you could gossip, talk about any kind of business, flirt, discuss politics, or get too deeply into the news of the day (not upbuilding enough)....what's left? Gardening? How great it was that you placed a set of magazines with some stranger in the door to door work?
Of course, after the meeting you could compliment the speaker and yap about what a meaningful Watchtower study it was. Woo! *yawn*
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Virgogirl
They have to keep their conversations shallow, because they have to always be careful what they say, lest anything might be considered worldly or maybe get them reported to the Nazi's...um, elders. And the listener is obligated to listen carefully lest anything should need to be reported! It's not considered appropriate or loving to spend all your before or after meeting time with just one or two people only, and not to mingle and show brotherly love and fellowship to everybody. All the while they're chatting, they're observing hair lenght, how much jewelry, perfume, makeup, skirt length, are shoes appropriate, nails modest, tie wholesome, bla, bla.
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dedpoet
I had conversations with just about everyone when I first went to meetings, they all wanted to talk, trying to hook me I guess.
Once I was baptised, however, the conversations kind of dried up a little
The last two years, the elders were the only ones who really wanted to talk to me, and their conversation was more confontational than meaningful. I used to leave immediately most of the time to avoid those type of conversations.
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truthseeker
Well, it's no wonder JW's have few real friendships with everyone too busy to talk, to afraid to talk and to fearful of condemnation to talk.
I remember a few talks given at the assemblies - Spiritual Conversation That Upbuilds
They even said not to talk about worldly subjects when you are in a car group or going from door to door.
That's why, when I eventually leave the org, I will NOT miss the congregation, and they will NOT miss me.
It's a swing door policy - someone leaves, someone enters.
Truthseeker
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truthseeker
Coffee Black
Everyone is on guard... you have to be so careful about the words you choose...because you are always being judged. You can't be yourself. I noticed that few jws have close friends...someone you could really open up to and share your deepest thoughts. No one seems to let anyone that close.... the friendships are pretty superficial.
You've hit the nail there!!!
Our congregation is very supericial - the friends simply have nothing much to say, not even about themselves, let alone others.
It's a congregation that will love bomb - until you are committed and settle down.
They say that beauty is only skin deep - that probably describes many of the so-called friendly and loving congregations.
Even when someone is disfellowshipped, no one wants to talk about it, in fact no one talks about anything.
It's just, "Hi, how are you, how's work" - eye's drift looking for the next person.
For those of you that go, stand back and observe the social butterflies in the Hall - watch how they go from one person to the next, and then watch them when they run out of people to talk to.
This used to be me - it was a way to pass the time I think, until I was ready to go, or was waiting for a ride back home.
I think the ones who may have a lot to say, are probably the ones who say nothing and sit by themselves.
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PaulJ
There was a catch 22 situation in our hall. The younger ones were encouraged to talk to the older ones more. So being a bit of a congregational kiss-ass at the time I did. But the older ones were encouraged to speak to the younger ones about spiritual things.
So, if I went up to Sister Gardener and asked her how her garden was getting on, instead of getting a
"oh its lovely thank you, this time of the year everything is in bloom, I like to spend time in the garden its wonderful"....
you'd get
"Its nice thank you. I was reading an article on pollen in the Awake the other day that was fascinating! Isnt it wonderful how Jehovah provides these things for us? We can read about God's creation in Genesis..... blah blah blah....."
You just couldnt have normal conversations with these people!