What a depressing birthday for me. Then again its not. This is the longest I have ever been single(6 months and lots of self-loving was necessary to make it this long) and so at least I don't have to feel stupid when the guy I'm with does not get me not even a simple b-day card. At least I don't have to anxiously wonder if my parents will actually even acknowldege what today is. I understand u don't wanna celebrate it but can we at least point it out???!! Hell, who am I kidding. There as bad as all my exes. "Today is what day??"
And so although I did not want to wake up this morning. Hoping that maybe if I just stayed under the sheets that Time would be put on pause. I am not ready to be 22! I don't even think I have still mastered being 21. There are still things I have not figured out. I am still living this unwanted life. When do I get to finaly pop this bubble that I am in? Its like the needle is in my hand but just aint strong enough to burst this exsistence. I want to Finally embrace my freedom and get out of this life I've been living. I envy all of you who are out. Sometimes I wonder if never knowing what the WT reallly is would of been easier on me.
And so as I light this candle on my cupcake I make only one wish: to finally allow God give me the oppurtunity to become ME. Whoever she's supposed. to be.
