What goes around, comes around.!!!!!!!!!!!

vitty

Twenty years ago I rather arrogantly, I now realize, told my in laws that WE, meaning my husband and children, event though at the time he wasnt a witness, would be no longer be celebrating pagan holidays like christmas and birthdays, along side any other family orientated get togethers.

They took this massive news, calmly and without a fuss, and allowed me to breeze through their feelings as grandparents because I was RIGHT and had to make a stand and not compromise!

We, myself, my husband and son, have stopped going to meeting for about 18 months now, but leave my adult daughter with the legacy of still being in this cult.

She is now married, has no children yet, but im sure in the near future will do so.

So now, here I am in the same position that I put my unfortunate inlaws in. MY daughter and S-I-L will not be "doing" any holidays or family stuff, and we will just have to accept it whether we like it or not.

I hope I can shut my mouth with the same grace my poor Inlaws displayed, when they missed out on their granchildrens special moments

Its just s...t and I feel mad !!!!!!!!!!!!!

candidlynuts

ack! life changes suck dont they? even ones for the better have consequences that might be unpleasant.

hang in there, i dont have any advice but arent you glad theres somewhere to vent about it at?

Cori

Dont blame yourself, at the time you thought you were doing the right thing. Is there any hope for your daughter to learn the truth about "the truth"?

vitty

Cori, im fading, im trying to break it to her gently that we dont go anymore. Shed be out if we had told her before shed married, but now , I dont know.

She gets sick of going to the meetings and FS I know that and I feel bad !!!!!!!

But she has just got married, and of course thinks its the truth and is doing the best she can for her new husband,,, if it was anyone we need to talk to its him but it could backfire !!!!

We cant take that chance just yet, sometimes I dont know what to do.

Cori

Although your situation is slightly different, I'll tell you what everyone told me when I posted my desire to tell my wife what I thought.

They told it would be best to wait it out. To show unconditional love, and to stay away from heated debates. Trying that in your case, with time, things may turn around...

Again good luck to you

vitty

Thanks cori

I do try and show her "more" unconditional love. Its amazing how , even though you dont realize it at the time, your love IS conditional even to your kids. Its sick, but when I think back to times when I talked to my kids, they always felt they needed my aproval eg my son came to me today to talk about a girl he wants to have as a girlfriend, we had a little disscussion but the difference on priorities in the conversation was tremendous compared to a conversation I would of had, had we still been in the org.

This is definately another topic !!!!!!!!!!!!!

AK - Jeff

Vitty - that is a tough one. huh?

Is it possible to 'drop hints' that are not too strong? Create some doubts, and hint lightly that you have some too. Perhaps it will open up one of those calls that begin "Mom, I think we should meet over a coffee, I have some things to ask you about....."

All hope for the best.

BTW - like the new avatar!

Jeff

vitty

Thanks Jeff

MsMcDucket

I, definitely, know how you feel. I did the same thing to my mom, and now my daughters are doing it to me. It's hard to take. I thought that I was doing the right thing...teaching them about Jehovah. I couldn't tell them why I didn't go back to the bOrg because I was to afraid of being considered an apostate or I just didn't know where my head was at (up my ***). My mother lived through it. I hope that I can be as strong as she was. When I talked to her on the phone the other day and told her about the twins, she said the bible says that you're supposed to honor your parents. She didn't say "that's what you get". She'll, probably, say it sooner or later.

Hang in there! Hope for the best and cope with the rest. I will try to do the same.

(((((hugs))))

horrible life

It's just not right. It's just not right. (((((((HUGS))))))) I get upset over parents rejecting us, but you all and Dansk and others, having your kids having problems with you, would be really tough. I can't even imagine. I feel like I am evesdropping. You all have sooo much in common. (((Hugs)))) again. HL

What goes around, comes around.!!!!!!!!!!!

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