Do i deserve to choose?

ConFuseDnStresSed05

I'm 18, my whole life i've been fed a lie that my whole family believes is true, they've done nothing but try to help me in what ever ways THEIR religion will allow them, and now wfter being sheltered, confused, but taken care of physically and what my mother thinks is spiritually i'm ready to leave it all ebhind, friends, family and more because now i'm of age and can see the numerous flaws and problems in the orginization. Do i deserve to choose what to do. I'm between a rock and a hardplace. On one side i really want to go my seperate ways because i hate being mislead but i know for sure i will lose all my present ties with my family and friends and im not sure if i can stand on my own two feet.

Is it unfair that my realtionship with my girlfriend has to kept under wraps, im paranoid when with her in public because someone i know might see me. should i be putting her through this life sucking ordeal just because of my own insecurities and myself wanting to be a witness and live my own life at once. Shouldn't only i have to deal with this great amount of stress on my own without pulling an innocent, magnificant person into it. How doi diferienciate between where i let the org drown my brain and where i can be free in a wonderful( well it would be if i was more open) relationship. im stuck and as always
ConFuseDnStreEed

Joel Wideman

EVERY adult has the RIGHT to choose their own lives. JWs will only love you if you are one of them, and leaning on them is like leaning on a wall made of tissue. People who truly love you are there to be leaned on, no matter what, and they'll hold you up.

thom

You already know that your family with be difficult if you leave. It's really something that at some point you'll have to go through and my view is sooner is better than later. Get it over with. If you don't believe the JW's have "the truth" then move on. You're going to have to deal with your family about it at some point and putting off something stressful only means more time to be stressed.
Sounds like you've met someone you want to get closer to and this is getting in the way. I avoided a relationship that I wanted when I was a JW and ended up with another JW. Bad idea! I wish I could go back in time but I can't.
It IS fair that you live your life the way YOU choose! If others choose to shun you for it, that's their decision. I'm not saying it's easy to do something that your family will give you grief over, but the alternative, letting other people run your life, is worse!
Many of us here have left the org, which upset our families. After doing so, some here have finally been able to live their lives and date who they want without worrying about what a religious cult or family tells them to do.
My suggestion is to get out sooner rather than later, deal with your family as best you can, and LIVE YOUR LIFE the way YOU want to.

diamondblue1974

There is nothing on this earth more fundamental than your right to choose your own path in life and that is something no one person or organisation has the right to take away from you.

Jehovahs Witnesses do not love you unconditionally as already mentioned, granted they may be nice people but they are only nice as long as you believe what they believe totally; do what they do; and behave the way they behave; when it comes right down to it they are not all that nice at all. You are right you may lose your family but this is not your fault...if this happens you must try not to blame them (as hard as it will be) because they like millions of others are victims of the WTS mindset and they are almost conditioned into putting aside their feelings of unconditional love (which will still be there) and loving you less than they love the WTS.

My advice is to get your own place...and gently fade away...that way then you can still speak to your family and enjoy some kind of relationship with them but without being made to feel guilty.

I hope you find what you are looking for on this site and there is a lot of useful information here to help you whenever you need it...I have yet to meet anyone yet that isnt welcoming on this site...happy travelling!

DB74

jstalin

i'm ready to leave it all ebhind, friends, family and more

Confused,

You said it yourself. You're ready to leave it behind. You need to be you. You've found someone that is special to you and you need to be able to enjoy that without the fear of "someone finding out." She deserves that too.

It's not going to be easy leaving all that stuff behind, but you will be liberated!

Hellrider

I did that at 17, but lived at home till I was 20, but my dad had died, so I could deal with it, a mother can`t control a big, angry, wild 17-yearold (and I guess I made her pay for all the crap...but I`m not ashamed). My younger sister left while dad (her stepdad) was still alive, so she had to run away from home at 15, and manage on her own. This is all hard. And if your family is all still in "the Truth" (the Lie), maybe you should wait a little? I know everyone here told you to go your own way, but there are no text-book-answers to these problems. Everyone has to find their own way, some have to be more "stealthy" (like "thieves in the night" ha ha) than others. There are people on this board that have whole lifetimes behind them, in "the Truth", who knows that it is all a big Lie, but they have their whole families and social networks still in, and as a result, they still go to meetings and things like that. But the future is promising for you, cause you know that this religion is a big Lie, allready at 18. So eventually, you will find the strength to be free, and break out. But don`t rush it, time is on your side. At first, try to find a way that will enable you to maintain the bonds with your family. And if you aren`t allready, for Gods sake, don`t get baptised. Good luck. (and no, you don`t deserve to have to choose. None of us did. This religion is a "gift" that has been give to us, and none of us asked for it. But that`s just the way it is)

Nico Maye

you deserve to be free and to choose what you do and do not believe in. it breaks my heart because i remember being in your place. just remember that you are not a bad person for wanting to be you. it is your family's loss if they cut off ties with you. they are the ones doing it not you so you should feel no guilt. it will be hard, but you deserve to be free.

Narkissos

Welcome Confused and NicoMaye!

Imo the only rights you'll ever have are the ones you'll take. Trust yourself.

Do i deserve to choose?

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