How did you tell old distant friends that you faded? Or do you? (page 2)

TopHat

Hopfully you dress up more than once a year and if you can't afford to buy your own candy then it is nice to have somone give it to you BUT why does it have to be a Pagan celebration to enjoy dressing up and free candy. If you like Pagan celebrations then say so....and stop acting stupid.

chrissy

gasp, i-knew-it tophat!! and here i was feeling like a royal jerk. i'm onto you.

cab1000

No No tophat! Please don't steal my thread with a haloween debate...start your own about that...please stick to the topic at hand....

Thanks,

~cab

cab1000

Miss Peaches,

Yes. Thats it. Exactly. Do you (did you) happen to have any witness friends who lived away from you, and had no idea that you faded? Did you tell them? Or did "time heal all"?

~cab

TopHat

Cab, The best thing to do is FIS-UP to your friends about your feelings and why you have faded.

I have told my witness friends how I feel and why I didn't come to meetings because I can't stand being a hypocrite.....BUT it's not to say I don't believe in my creator and the scriptures. I do believe he has a promise to keep if we worship him and him only.

blondie

First, ask yourself if you want to have contact with them. I have some contact with active JWs but only the ones who don't always say "wish you were at the meetings" whenever I see them. These people saw how I was treated and know how they were treated. They aren't perfect meeting attenders themselves.

If they are going to be the type that make it their am to "get you back in," I would think about it.

If the aim is to "fade," you can't do that if you spill your guts every time someone wonders why you aren't at the meetings. Some times it is too much information.

BTW, I put out pumpkins but I don't carve them. I call it my harvest theme. Indian corn too.

Love, Blondie

misspeaches

Hi Cab...

My closest friends realised I had stopped going to meetings. There were many tears shed and lot of emotions all over the place. But the Body of Elders claimed they had no idea that I had faded away. After not going to a meeting for 18 months they made contact with me (they heard I found a boyfriend) and started fishing for things to get me on. It really gave me the cranks... It's been about 2 years now. I know they still watch. They speak to my mother trying to get dirt on me. But mum doesn't know whats going on in my life. In fact I can't even have my mother around to visit in case she sees something that would go against her JW trained conscience and somehow get back to the elders.

Its a matter of just watching your step carefully. I worry every weekend that they will knock on my door for sure today but they don't. But it does weigh on my mind.

TopHat

Blondi, I make pumpkin pies out of the nice ripe pumpkins....Love pumpkin pies

It is true NOT to spill your guts to everyone....just your close friends who might feel hurt by your actions or lack of. I know it is not easy, believe me.

cab1000

Guys,

To be honest, these people I am concerned with at the moment would not be missed much if we never heard from them again. (Mean, I know, but you know what I mean.)

The only ones we have to be careful around are our witness family members. Boy, those egg shells are thin!

Thanks for the advice...great to know that were not alone...

~cab

Bluegrass Tom

It is true that if they visit there will probably be some fallout over your personal choices in life. One thing that you might consider doing is that since they sent you a card, you can send them back a note thanking them for the card and telling them that for personal reasons you do not want any visitors.

This is our approach. We tell the Friends not to stop by unless invited. It works pretty well. They don't have to bother, and legally they are exposed if they stop by because you were specific with them before hand. None of the Brothers want to be exposed legally.

How did you tell old distant friends that you faded? Or do you?

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